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It’s much cheaper to do it with a surrogate from a third-world country. Also no risk of the surrogate wanting to keep the baby and the attendant legal expenses. Now that it’s not so easy to adopt (a zillion times harder, much more expensive, and less certain than when I did it 13 years ago) there are plenty of desperate would-be parents, including gay couples, choosing surrogacy.
If you adopt, at least you are supposed to have a homestudy during which the social worker is supposed to clue you in that raising a child you adopted is much more complicated than raising a dog or cat you’ve adopted. That said, I had no clue how overwhelmingly transformative it would be to be a mother, and I think that many, many expectant parents don’t really get it until the babe is there. Almost always, the thoughts of having nanny do all the work and just kissing the baby good night disappears when the actual baby is in their arms.
I do hope they have good insurance for therapy for them and for the kid! Just in case! And I hope the surrogate is well compensated and there’s some kind of guarantee for her compensation and care even if something goes wrong. Probably not, but it would be nice.
It’s hard to even start sorting through all of the reactions to this. One is about class and race. Another is about the expectation that parents should sacrifice to bear children. Then there is the apparent lack of bonding with the child. And the financial priorities, which are very unusual given their economic status. And so many others.
DH, welcome to adulthood and to the HOOD. Maybe you’ve got to step up being a pain to your neighbors – ie encourage them to log tons of complaints so that when you try to break lease, landlord will gladly let you out
lech, a columinist of the nytimes did this last year and wrote an article about it in nytimes mag, the reactions were wild. Instead of central america, she used a girl from PA.
Parts of PA are third world. There’s a reason the state is called “Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in the middle.”
DeLepp – But the columnist had been unable to conceive &/or carry a baby to term so that’s a bit different. Still leaves open the adoption question but it wasn’t just hiring someone to bear the burden.
It’s much cheaper to do it with a surrogate from a third-world country. Also no risk of the surrogate wanting to keep the baby and the attendant legal expenses. Now that it’s not so easy to adopt (a zillion times harder, much more expensive, and less certain than when I did it 13 years ago) there are plenty of desperate would-be parents, including gay couples, choosing surrogacy.
If you adopt, at least you are supposed to have a homestudy during which the social worker is supposed to clue you in that raising a child you adopted is much more complicated than raising a dog or cat you’ve adopted. That said, I had no clue how overwhelmingly transformative it would be to be a mother, and I think that many, many expectant parents don’t really get it until the babe is there. Almost always, the thoughts of having nanny do all the work and just kissing the baby good night disappears when the actual baby is in their arms.
I do hope they have good insurance for therapy for them and for the kid! Just in case! And I hope the surrogate is well compensated and there’s some kind of guarantee for her compensation and care even if something goes wrong. Probably not, but it would be nice.
arkady, yep forgot about that detail. She was still dumped on by the majority.
dibs, indeed, I’ve been to a place called Milton.
It’s hard to even start sorting through all of the reactions to this. One is about class and race. Another is about the expectation that parents should sacrifice to bear children. Then there is the apparent lack of bonding with the child. And the financial priorities, which are very unusual given their economic status. And so many others.
“but if youre gonna be a picky bitch at least shit the baby out yourself.”
Clearly someone skipped health class.
DH, welcome to adulthood and to the HOOD. Maybe you’ve got to step up being a pain to your neighbors – ie encourage them to log tons of complaints so that when you try to break lease, landlord will gladly let you out
“something doesnt add up”
They have enough money to do this. They just aren’t rich. They’re very middle class, but they seem to live modestly and save well.
By DeLepp on January 31, 2011 10:24 AM
lech, a columinist of the nytimes did this last year and wrote an article about it in nytimes mag, the reactions were wild. Instead of central america, she used a girl from PA.
Parts of PA are third world. There’s a reason the state is called “Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in the middle.”
DeLepp – But the columnist had been unable to conceive &/or carry a baby to term so that’s a bit different. Still leaves open the adoption question but it wasn’t just hiring someone to bear the burden.
so they aren’t rich but are going to spend 45K just because she doesnt want to go thru pregnancy? something doesnt add up
*rob*