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  1. I came up with a great business idea last night, which will have the dual result of enriching us and minimizing the number of tourists blocking the bike lane and walk lane on the Brooklyn Bridge. We — or, rather, people we hire — stand guard on the Manhattan side of the walkway / bikeway and charge tourists admission. Tourists will totally believe it’s legit and pay. We have them stand behind giant coolers of water — which the tourists are already eager to buy at an inflated price — couching it with an air of legitimacy in case the authorities check up on our activities. We also charge them for directions to Grimaldi’s, the Promenade and Piers 1 and 6 once they get to Brooklyn. They will totally pay for the whole package. They were buying celebrity condoms last night! (I politely declined as I already have 1,000 condoms in my foyer.)

  2. Snappy — that being said, I think it’s great we idolize black men with barely a high school education. The magical idea that if you work really hard at basketball you’ll have a $50 million annual salary and a $90 million contract with a sneaker company and be set for life.

    Why should young black boys focus on reality when this is clearly a possibility!?

    I know the statistics show that black males perform FAR worse than any other group in college — but who cares! It’s just a stop gap before you become a basketball star. That’s where your energy should be!

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