Using Parlor Floor for Events
Over the past few months, friends have requested use of my parlor floor to host 2 bridal showers and a wedding rehearsal dinner. I am happy to offer the use of the space and am honored that so many people find it beautiful enough to celebrate such special occasions. Even though they are friends, should I charge a fee, since they would have to otherwise pay for a commercial event space? I plan to at least ask for them to pay for pre- and post- event clean up costs and provide some sort of refundable security deposit for damages. Any thoughts?
sobrooklyn
in Quality of Life 13 years and 2 months ago
9
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9 replies
Goatcrapp | 13 years and 2 months ago
Unless the space in question is one that you regularly rent out anyways – then your friends aren’t trampling on your occupation in any way so your argument about a photographer friend being abused for free services is moot. Frankly, the thought of charging actual friends is pretty douchebaggy. Let them have the event, as long as they absorb the cost of setup and cleanup (which any friend worth a damn would be cognizant of anyway) – the cost in inconvenience shouldn’t be an issue between friends, and if it is, then you have the wrong friends (or perhaps you’re the wrong kind of friend to have) It’s akin to charging a friend for helping them move. We’ve all busted our asses, been put through a cost of inconvenience, sometimes pain, and definitely time… but still, you help a buddy move and they make it up to you over drinks or make you dinner, etc… Perhaps the confusion is how we define friendship… stonergut mentions “not close friends” – and perhaps therein lies the problem. I don’t have ANY not-close friends… friendship is a n intimate, serious and valued position… any “not close” friends are not friends.. might be friendly acqiuantances, but thats it. So – should you charge a friendly acquaintance for using your space? Again – if it’s not your day to day business (ie: renting commercial spaces for parties) then your answer – be it yes or no, should be without strings. If you have to start asking “what will make this worth my time” then your answer should really be no in the first place.
Stonergut | 13 years and 2 months ago
Friends – not close friends incidentally – requested a neighbor’s parlor floor and garden for a wedding. They intended not only to have the event, but to do the cooking, decorating and everything else there, tieing the house up for about 4 days. The host place ended up a huge mess, including broken applicances afterwards. This wasn’t a rowdy wedding, btw. No mosh pit or anything, just cocktails, party food and middle aged people in high heels. I think contracting a cleaner and an agreement to repair or replace anything broken is essential. Probably the couple would not have requested to use your place if they had money for a commercial space, so a fee only makes sense if you’re hosting acquaintances rather than friends.
needmtg | 13 years and 2 months ago
Maybe OP’s handle is a handle (pun intended) to his outlook on life ;). He would be no “friend” of mine if he asked for a security deposit and a fee (or even explicitly for cleaning charges, that should be unspoken). The analogy to a professional charging a friend is specious, as broekelin has pointed out. Incidentally, why 2 showers? Twin brides or is that the norm these days? Btw, there no apostrophe in “it’s judgmental tone”
slopemope | 13 years and 2 months ago
different circles have different cultures. if this is a distant friend or friend of a friend, you need to ask yourself if you are swimming in a culture where this could exponentially grow, and if you love being that center of the social scene. Some really do, some don’t know and give it a go and learn. For all but your closest friends – – if you love hosting and decide to have a rule for paying for your cleaning service (and one of your close friends much vouch for the person and be present), that is great. If you are talking about charging a room fee, deposit – forget it because i ***guarantee**** you that people will start shitting where you eat, after all they’ve paid you and you should be serving them. This is the part where things get ugly. There is no amount of money someone could give me for bad shit going down in my home for people that aren’t completely worth it.
rh | 13 years and 2 months ago
I understand your photographer analogy because as a professional photographer, my friends and “friends” sometimes ask me to shoot events. I tell them that I will shoot the event for a highly discounted fee or preferably, enjoy the party as a guest and give them a reference for someone else. I do this for a living. It’s not clear whether or not you rent your space for income. Also, if they are very close friends, I wouldn’t charge them. The deposit and cleaning fees, rather than telling them that they’re responsible for set up and cleaning (which should be obvious) does make it sound like they are not close friends.
nf85 | 13 years and 2 months ago
Personally, I would not charge my friends, even cleaning costs, for throwing a party at my house–my general guiding thought is give something gladly or not at all. Of course, only close friends would ask something like that of me, so I may be dealing with a different scenario to begin with. If these are medium friends, and you already had a business renting out this space, I would think it totally normal to charge cleaning and security, in effect giving it to them at cost. If they’re acquaintances, and/or you don’t already have a business (which it sounds like) I’d probably say no–and perhaps look into what would be involved vis a vis liability etc to set up such a thing, given the interest. Also, you should post pictures here for us to see :).
deano | 13 years and 2 months ago
also, once you’re taking fees for use of the space then it probably doesnt even matter which definition of “friends” you’re using, you may have all sorts of other insurance, liability and even legality issues to consider.
BHS | 13 years and 2 months ago
I think asking them to cleanup or pay a professional for cleanup is fair but if they really are friends you shouldn’t be trying to earn a profit from this, only cover any costs you would incur associated with the event, unless you want hosting the event to be your family’s gift to the party-throwers. If the floor needs to be protected or anything else to make sure the room remains in good condition I’d have them cover whatever those rentals cost.
brokelin | 13 years and 2 months ago
I realize that some people, even before the facebook age, referred to anyone they met as friends…but if this is not the case, and these people really are friends, then I say, and I do not say this to be mean, but thoughtfully, that your concept of friendship is very different from mine. I would base my answer on whether I felt happy to offer my space, gratis and without security deposit, to these friends. If I did not want to offer it in friendship, then I would say I was not comfortable with offering my space for their party. Your way, seeing it as a commercial transaction, and a potential source of income for you, is not something I like to inject into my friendships, so if I was not willing, I would say no, rather than do it unwillingly, as you seem to be considering. No amount of money or security deposit will make up for any damage if you are not willing to lend your space gladly…my two cents, anyway. I have had…former…friends who viewed friendship as a commercial transaction, and perhaps your friends have the same view of friendship that you do, though it is unlikely that such persons are friends with each other, in my experience. If you want to turn your space into a source of income for parties, you are free to start such a business, but I would not rent it to friends unless I was already in an established pattern of renting it to strangers for events, and even then, I would likely offer it to my friends for free..