Open Thread

“ENY- you’re not originally from NYC?”

I was born and raised here (born in Harlem, raised in East New York). But in my childhood, ladies RARELY did this, even here in NYC. Now, it’s nothing unusual at all!

Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

One liners (courtesy of Rodney Dangerfield):

“My wife likes to talk during sex. The other night she called me from a motel.”

“With my wife I don’t get no respect. I bought a used car. And found my wife’s dress in the back seat.”

“I tell you, with my doctor, I don’t get no respect. I told him, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.”

“I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait til it gets warmer.”

“My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.”

“I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.”

“One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!”

“One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy…why are you doing that for?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees, and says to her husband,
‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

….And that’s when I killed him your honor!