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  1. List of people who should just shut the fuck up about the localvore movement already:

    1. Anyone who buys Christmas trees.

    2. Anyone who has a second home in the country. (sorry DIBS, but you’re not a localvore dipshit so you’re cool)

  2. Oh but if it’s ORGANIC that makes you a good person, because overpaying for something just because it is labeled organic means you’s saving the planet. Gold star for trying, but epic fail. Go choke.

  3. Many thousands of acres of otherwise productive farmland in the Northeastern United States are tied up in Christmas tree farming.

    So that people in Park Slope can buy Christmas trees.

    All these resources go into planting, harvesting, and transporting the trees.

    And then they are thrown away.

    And these same poeple get sanctimonious about how we should all feel badly about buying non-locally produced food.

    WELL FUCKTARDS IF YOU DIDN’T TIE UP ALL THE LAND WITH YOUR GODDAMN CHRISTMAS TREES MAYBE THE COST OF LOCAL PRODUCE WOULD GO DOWN AND I WOULD BUY IT. Dildos.

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