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  1. donatella,

    speaking of those soothing
    waterfalls,

    when I lived in East New York
    I bought a sound machine for
    my nightstand to drown out
    the gunshots and crack noises.

    I lived above an active bodega
    with one of those revolving
    bullet proof lazy susans that
    allowed degenerates to order
    up chips and toilet paper
    at all hours of the night,
    often punctuated by expletives
    and fights.

    Turning on the “sounds of the
    forest” simply added a new
    auditory dimension to the thrilling
    sounds of the city.
    I would go to sleep imagining
    myself in some picturesque
    far off place like
    Tet during the Offensive
    or
    Panama during the US
    take down of Noriega.

  2. um I just had a BAGEL HOLE bagel – not sure what the fuss is all about as being the best bagel in BK? it was ok -it had nice flavor(I got everything with scallion CC) but the consistency and size were offputting – it was hard and you really had to rip into it to take a bite.
    who votes on these types of things are def not Jewish or a real NY’er!
    sorry rant

  3. “A young, skinny hipster girl finally comes to the door, and I explain the situation. She says “I’ll look”. Door closes. 5 mins later her door opens, “The faucet was left on”. ”

    Oh for f*cks sake! Like she ‘forgot’ the faucet was on? How stoned was she? How do you not notice the faucet is running in an APT. It’s not a 20 room mansion! You can HEAR it running!

  4. “I experimented with freezing blueberries and strawberries and they are great in smoothies”

    Me too donatella.

    I prefer Jif. Maybe I’ll try the Smuckers natural, but I agree with Dave — I’ve tried a couple of organic PBs and end up throwing them out because they taste SO awful.

  5. “Guys are such pigs! Learn to hold your litter pecker and aim it right!!!!!!!”

    I KNOW! It is disgusting, and unfathomable that they can’t seem to AIM! They seem to be able AIM it lots of other times! LOL!

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