Open Thread

See, Kens, that’s what I hate. I don’t think I’m a loud walker (who knows, there’s no one to complain now) but I do turn up my music loudly and I tend to vacuum at 3am. Can’t do that shit with neighbors. And plus, I don’t wanna hear the shennanigans going on in their apartment either.

“You want to BLEACH the dating pool? Racist! Or is that prejudiced? If you withhold booty from someone because they aren’t bleached I think that means you’re a racist.”

I suspect that I more than make up for it, dating a large number of the unbleached

Snappy, in concrete highrises or remade warehouses you’re good. In regular 20s to 50s coops/condos, you’re screwed. Avoid those. Soundproofing in my building is horrible (1953). Not bad with wall to wall neighbors but the lower floors always bitch at upper floors from WALKING too LOUD. It’s a bit crazy.

“Tybur, I’ve come to the conclusion that the dating gene pool in NYC is contaminated. We need chlorine. And fast.”

You want to BLEACH the dating pool? Racist! Or is that prejudiced? If you withhold booty from someone because they aren’t bleached I think that means you’re a racist.

A giant redwood can weigh 1000 tons (they can get much larger, but let’s not use extreme examples).

The average American has a carbon footprint of 20 tons annually.

I estimate that, all-in, there would be less than 5 tons of carbon released into the atmosphere by cutting down a giant redwood in California, transporting it to Death Valley, dumping it, and leaving it there to desiccate, thereby effectively sequestering the carbon for a very long time. (much, much, much less when you just count the incremental carbon added by burning of fuel, but you need to account for the manufacture of the machinery and whatnot). Why don’t we take my high estimate and DOUBLE it.

So that’s 990 tons of carbon sequestered, which completely offsets my carbon footprint for almost 50 years.

And that’t not even counting the extra carbon that is fixed as wood by the much faster growing new trees that are “released” when the giant redwood is removed.

I have cut down many thousands of trees in my lifetime, all of which add up to many many multiples of a single giant redwood. And most of the wood is all safely sequestered in houses as rafters or tables or chairs or sculptures. Just a ballpark guess, I personally am probably carbon negative to the tune of around 500 years.

I offer two alternatives for you to personally achieve carbon neutrality:

1. Don’t fly anywhere ever again. Stop driving. Don’t buy any green vegetables in the winter. No more buying fancy Euopean cheese. Stop drinking coffee. Etc.

or….

2. Keep doing all of those things but cut down enough trees to offset all of your carbon.

Which do you choose?