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  1. rob, there was an interesting article about cutting ties w toxic parents in the NYT the other day. However in this case it seems she is not toxic but rather lonely. She must have sacrificed a lot for you, especially seeing the way you are. So if you won’t sacrifice something for her, I’d agree you are in fact a bad person. Maybe if you visited her you would find something in common. Or just cut her off completely, then you can admit you are in fact a bad person, and move on.

  2. *rob*, you’re NOT a bad person. I’ve had similar experiences with relatives. You can love them, and feel gratitude toward them, but still not like them, and if they weren’t relatives you would have nothing to do with them. Your conversations with your grandmother remind me of mine with my (late) step-grandmother. I called out of obligation about once a month. “Yes, of course, I’m planning to come visit. I’m not sure when. I’m very busy at work. I’ll plan a trip as soon as I can.” Under the circumstances, make the monthly call, avoid the visit.

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