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Common Sailing Terms
Amidships – condition of being surrounded by boats.
Anchor – a device designed to bring up mud samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.
Berth – a little addition to the crew.
Charter – the pastime of paying a large fee to take an unknown boat on unknown waters with a strange crew.
Charter agreement – a legal document that allows an owner to collect a large fee to allow unknown persons of questionable abilities to get drunk and sail his boat through unknown waters, while also allowing the other party to agree pay a large fee to get drunk and sail through unknown waters with persons of questionable abilities on a boat of unknown seaworthiness.
Crew – Heavy, stationary objects used on shipboard to hold down charts, anchor cushions in place and dampen sudden movements of the boom.
Dinghy – the sound of the ship’s bell.
Displacement – when you dock your boat and can’t find it later.
Estimated Position – a place you have marked on the chart where you are sure you are not.
Flashlight – Tubular metal container used on shipboard for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal.
Jack Lines – “Hey baby, want to go sailing?”
Landlubber – anyone on board who wishes he were not.
Mizzen – an object you can’t find.
Sailing – The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill, while going nowhere slowly at great expense.
Yawl – A sailboat from Texas, with some good bourbon stored down yonder in the cabin.
I totally saw Rob last night, standing in front of the something or other inn, a dive bar on 7th ave somewhere between 7th st and 9th st. I was driving so I couldn’t stop and say hello. There was a lineup standing and smoking out in front of the place: 30-something guy with a beer gut, 30-something guy with beer gut, Rob, 30-something guy with beer gut, etc.
Common Sailing Terms
Amidships – condition of being surrounded by boats.
Anchor – a device designed to bring up mud samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.
Berth – a little addition to the crew.
Charter – the pastime of paying a large fee to take an unknown boat on unknown waters with a strange crew.
Charter agreement – a legal document that allows an owner to collect a large fee to allow unknown persons of questionable abilities to get drunk and sail his boat through unknown waters, while also allowing the other party to agree pay a large fee to get drunk and sail through unknown waters with persons of questionable abilities on a boat of unknown seaworthiness.
Crew – Heavy, stationary objects used on shipboard to hold down charts, anchor cushions in place and dampen sudden movements of the boom.
Dinghy – the sound of the ship’s bell.
Displacement – when you dock your boat and can’t find it later.
Estimated Position – a place you have marked on the chart where you are sure you are not.
Flashlight – Tubular metal container used on shipboard for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal.
Jack Lines – “Hey baby, want to go sailing?”
Landlubber – anyone on board who wishes he were not.
Mizzen – an object you can’t find.
Sailing – The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill, while going nowhere slowly at great expense.
Yawl – A sailboat from Texas, with some good bourbon stored down yonder in the cabin.
I totally saw Rob last night, standing in front of the something or other inn, a dive bar on 7th ave somewhere between 7th st and 9th st. I was driving so I couldn’t stop and say hello. There was a lineup standing and smoking out in front of the place: 30-something guy with a beer gut, 30-something guy with beer gut, Rob, 30-something guy with beer gut, etc.
Come on, tybur6. Not in Bed Stuy, on the Gowanus!!!
touche!
Boating in Bed-Stuy!? Awesome.
I was robbed!!
I’d rather be a loser than a hipster.
loser
First
Off to launch the boat now.