“The public relations officer got up, locked the door, closed the shade, sat down next to the interviewer and whispered, “What do you want it to equal?””
Oh for crying out loud (which I’m totally ready to do!) is nothing sacred from the damned bedbugs??? Really? They could be in the carpet cleaning machine? Someone can confirm this? ARRRGGHHH!
Q: What’s the difference between a rat and a squirrel?
A: A publicist.
**
It’s a beautiful spring day in downtown Raleigh, N.C., in the park near the capitol. Folks are picnicking and children are playing.
Suddenly, a pit bull attacks a 3-year-old child, and everyone is paralyzed in shock.
The child is screaming, the dog is snarling and biting. A man steps forward, separates the child and the animal, and snaps the dog’s neck.
Everyone exhales in relief, and a young woman runs over to the man.
“Mister,” she says, “That was incredible. I’m a reporter for the Raleigh News and Observer, and this is going to be on the front page of tomorrow’s edition. I can see the headline now—Raleigh Man Saves Tot!”
And he says, “Well, actually, I’m not originally from Raleigh.”
And she says, “I can see the headline now—North Carolina Man Stops Attack!”
And he says, “Well, to tell the truth, I’m not originally from North Carolina.”
She asks, “Where are you from?”
“New York,” he replies.
And she says, “I can see the headline now—Yankee Bastard Slays Family Pet!”
**
Q: What does the wife of a public relations expert do when she has insomnia?
A: She rolls over and says, “Tell me again, darling, just what is it that you do for a living?â€
**
Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit. Moses calls a staff meeting.
“Well, how are we going to get across the sea?†asks Moses. “We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us.â€
“Normally, I’d recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across,†says the general of the armies, “but there’s not enough time—the Egyptians are too close.â€
“Normally, I’d recommend that we build barges to carry us across,†says the admiral of the navy, “but time is too short.â€
“Does anyone have a solution?†asks Moses.
Just then, his public relations man raises his hand.
“You!†says Moses, “You have a solution?â€
“No,†says the PR man, “but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three full pages in the Old Testament…â€
**
“I’m thinking of leaving my husband,†complained the wife of a well-known public relations expert. “All he ever does is stand at the end of our bed and tell me how good things are going to be.â€
**
A mathematician, an accountant and a public relations officer all applied for the same job with a large company.
The interviewer called in the mathematician first and asked, “What does two plus two equal?”
The mathematician replied, “Four.”
The interviewer asked, “Four, exactly?”
The mathematician looked at the interviewer incredulously and said, “Yes, of course: four, exactly.”
Then the interviewer called in the accountant and asked the same question, “What does two plus two equal?”
The accountant said, “On average, four — give or take 10 percent, but on average, four.”
Then the interviewer called in the public relations officer and again posed the same question, “What does two plus two equal?”
The public relations officer got up, locked the door, closed the shade, sat down next to the interviewer and whispered, “What do you want it to equal?”
**
Q: How many PR people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don’t know. I’ll have to get back to you. What’s your deadline? Can I e-mail it to you?
The President of PLUSAland needs to be born in Brooklyn! Only ENY, Benson, and the What/BHO are eligible.
“The public relations officer got up, locked the door, closed the shade, sat down next to the interviewer and whispered, “What do you want it to equal?””
I love that ENY!
good ones ENY 🙂
sixyears, you need to wait and allow me to cover my ears and leave the room before announcing your agenda!
432 posts by 1:30 = an all-time record of 768 by 5:00. 800 is in the cards!
Oh for crying out loud (which I’m totally ready to do!) is nothing sacred from the damned bedbugs??? Really? They could be in the carpet cleaning machine? Someone can confirm this? ARRRGGHHH!
Anybody who works in midtown want to join me someday to go to Outback on 55th Street…we’ll just have Bloomin Onions
“DIBS is in charge of International Affairs!!”
Ahh yes, of course! How did I not catch that?
A little professional humor:
Q: What’s the difference between a rat and a squirrel?
A: A publicist.
**
It’s a beautiful spring day in downtown Raleigh, N.C., in the park near the capitol. Folks are picnicking and children are playing.
Suddenly, a pit bull attacks a 3-year-old child, and everyone is paralyzed in shock.
The child is screaming, the dog is snarling and biting. A man steps forward, separates the child and the animal, and snaps the dog’s neck.
Everyone exhales in relief, and a young woman runs over to the man.
“Mister,” she says, “That was incredible. I’m a reporter for the Raleigh News and Observer, and this is going to be on the front page of tomorrow’s edition. I can see the headline now—Raleigh Man Saves Tot!”
And he says, “Well, actually, I’m not originally from Raleigh.”
And she says, “I can see the headline now—North Carolina Man Stops Attack!”
And he says, “Well, to tell the truth, I’m not originally from North Carolina.”
She asks, “Where are you from?”
“New York,” he replies.
And she says, “I can see the headline now—Yankee Bastard Slays Family Pet!”
**
Q: What does the wife of a public relations expert do when she has insomnia?
A: She rolls over and says, “Tell me again, darling, just what is it that you do for a living?â€
**
Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit. Moses calls a staff meeting.
“Well, how are we going to get across the sea?†asks Moses. “We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us.â€
“Normally, I’d recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across,†says the general of the armies, “but there’s not enough time—the Egyptians are too close.â€
“Normally, I’d recommend that we build barges to carry us across,†says the admiral of the navy, “but time is too short.â€
“Does anyone have a solution?†asks Moses.
Just then, his public relations man raises his hand.
“You!†says Moses, “You have a solution?â€
“No,†says the PR man, “but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three full pages in the Old Testament…â€
**
“I’m thinking of leaving my husband,†complained the wife of a well-known public relations expert. “All he ever does is stand at the end of our bed and tell me how good things are going to be.â€
**
A mathematician, an accountant and a public relations officer all applied for the same job with a large company.
The interviewer called in the mathematician first and asked, “What does two plus two equal?”
The mathematician replied, “Four.”
The interviewer asked, “Four, exactly?”
The mathematician looked at the interviewer incredulously and said, “Yes, of course: four, exactly.”
Then the interviewer called in the accountant and asked the same question, “What does two plus two equal?”
The accountant said, “On average, four — give or take 10 percent, but on average, four.”
Then the interviewer called in the public relations officer and again posed the same question, “What does two plus two equal?”
The public relations officer got up, locked the door, closed the shade, sat down next to the interviewer and whispered, “What do you want it to equal?”
**
Q: How many PR people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don’t know. I’ll have to get back to you. What’s your deadline? Can I e-mail it to you?
**