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  1. “Biff, was that Aryan goddess your goy toy?”

    six, she had the perfect combination of drop dead gorgeous looks, a great personality and open to almost anything I wanted to do. I couldn’t have asked for anything more in a woman who deflowered me.

  2. dibs, I’d love to come and meet your bf. It’s always fun to experience the “gwailo disjuncture” that happens when I speak Cantonese to a Chinese person.

    The other week in Flushing, I ordered a fresh gourd juice from some street vendor on Main Street. I ordered in Cantonese without thinking about it, since the words “dung gwa” come to my head more instantly when I see this fruit than “winter melon.”

    The vendor froze and looked at me as if she’d seen a ghost. Then she called to her friend. I repeated my order. Two more passersby stopped to stare in astonishment.

    They all stood there watching me drink the juice, like I was a gorilla with two heads.

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