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A Kensington reader passed on a note left by a nosy neighbor/concerned citizen (which is it, do you think?). It reads: “As I pass through my neighborhood, I find it necessary to remind my neighbors of their responsibility to keep our home values high by not only taking care of the inside of their homes but also of their front areas. I have taken the liberty of grading each home and front areas. This letter is just a reminder and not intended to injure or insult anyone. I am sure we all want to maintain our property at the highest of standards and therby [sic] insuring that our property values remain high. This is a preliminary rating another [sic] will follow at a later date.” Luckily, there are many A’s. Our flummoxed reader writes, “I’m all for working to make our block look as beautiful as it can be, but really this is creepy! Don’t you think? Have you heard from others who have received similar letters?” We haven’t. Have you?


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  1. Silver Heather, come on now.

    You could do an ethnic thing too though with three of them…

    Italian or mexican…red/white/green
    Irish…orange/white/green
    American…red/white/blue
    German…black/orange/yellow

    You can also paint the balusters of your stoop railing in these colors as well.

    You get the picture

  2. Don’t forget the corrugated metal awnings over the ground floor entrances, and the painted rocks lining the front yards.

    A plug-in faux stone water feature can also lend that touch of class to any front yard.

    And how can we forget strings of year round Christmas lights?

  3. I think this block should put on an over-the-top display of white trashiness until he either sells his house or pulls the listing. I’m talking pink flamingos, bathtub Marys, cars with no tires up on blocks and laundry drying in the front yard.

  4. Were I a property owner who was rated thus, after receiving my rating, I would immediately paint my house an attractive shade of turquoise and orange and invest heavily in garden gnomes, flamingos and possibly blinking lights.

    I’d also consider some nice cyclone fencing with razor wire at the top and a rottweiler. Seriously, geez.

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