What to do about noisy neighbor with new girlfriend

We recently received an email from a reader and are posting it here on their behalf. “Dear Brownstoner, I could use your help with something. I live in a large condo building in Brooklyn with my wife and kids and my next door neighbor, a young man, has just had his girlfriend move in. They are making a lot of noise in their bedroom, which shares a wall with our home office. Yes, that kind of noise. My 8 year old son, hearing the noise, asked me if there was something wrong with her… Ugh. I can talk to him directly, or I could talk to the super or the condo board and ask them to talk to him. All uncomfortable choices. As a long time Brownstoner fan and reader I am sure your readers will have both point of view and expertise in how to handle this. So, can you ask them?”

donuttle

in Quality of Life 9 years and 11 months ago

36

Please log in, in order to post replies!

36 replies

Newest Oldest

zag0r | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5116 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5139 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(6) "184861"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(5) "zag0r"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$B8NqdTV5KbklXy8yLVw6i9FMhe3X5Y."
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(5) "zag0r"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(21) "ah_yaaak@hushmail.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 13:28:01"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(5) "zag0r"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(184861)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(1) {
    [0]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

It sounds like when your neighbors Lovecraft they like to Goethe distance.

thetinkerswagon | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5114 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5155 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "21531"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$B9fa6hkzhGwaxF0yusnHu3jP27xv4Y0"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(27) "service@thetinkerswagon.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(30) "http://www.thetinkerswagon.com"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:05:31"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(21531)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(1) {
    [0]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

joking aside, I have a 10 year old son and this would not make me happy if we had to put up with this here. maybe at 50 though, things have gotten dull in this house. but I will take that-

thetinkerswagon | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5156 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5115 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "21531"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$B9fa6hkzhGwaxF0yusnHu3jP27xv4Y0"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(27) "service@thetinkerswagon.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(30) "http://www.thetinkerswagon.com"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:05:31"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(21531)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(1) {
    [0]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

I was thinking of James I, maybe he was a catholic like Seamus? maybe charles dickens knows? somebody should really print all of this out and slip it under the door of the involved party.

mt_molehill | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5116 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5119 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "23087"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(11) "mt_molehill"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BpnKMjHo2lgpGiBYTHHedzcgE/T3aM0"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(11) "mt_molehill"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(25) "daniel.skolnick@gmail.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(53) "http://bstoner.wpengine.com/forums/users/mt_molehill/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:06:30"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(11) "mt_molehill"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(23087)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

Maybe they could find another room in which to Boll.

knucks | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5115 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5114 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(6) "184757"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(6) "knucks"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$B5bDNcKmpSofAmQm.5tat512UdQ/fQ/"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(6) "knucks"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(20) "roxie@roxination.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 13:27:59"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(6) "knucks"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(184757)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(1) {
    [0]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

hate to sound like a jerk, but this is just something you gotta live with. you’d be pissed too if your neighbor was telling you how to live! i had noisy upstairs neighbors for years (stomping and fighting at 3 am, not the sex kind of noise) and i never confronted them; i just accepted it and found a good brand of ear plugs. on the flip side, in that same apartment, my next door neighbor’s bedroom shared a wall with my office, where when i would watch TV at the ungodly late hour of 11 pm (GASP!), i would hear a loud banging on the wall that persisted, even when i had the TV on fairly quietly. one time they banged on the wall even when i had a friend over who was speaking in a normal volume of voice. Those people were dicks. don’t be a dick. as for you kid, it’s not a big deal. you can’t protect your kids from every slightest bit of discomfort forever. if you do choose to explain it to him honestly, you should probably make it clear that it’s bad behavior. your son’s future neighbors will thank you!

DH | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5156 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5117 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "34122"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(2) "DH"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(2) "DH"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(17) "jbbj000@yahoo.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2009-07-09 01:46:00"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(20) "ZimLhsTD5kbHr63R1Kn5"
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(2) "DH"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(34122)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(0) {
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(0) {
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(0) {
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

Sounds like OP needs to buy their own brownstone or move to the burbs.

milashka | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5116 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5147 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(6) "118856"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(8) "milashka"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(8) "milashka"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(18) "kopanitsa@live.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:20:43"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(8) "milashka"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(118856)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(0) {
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(0) {
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(0) {
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

When our new neighbors moved in upstairs, their bedroom was directly above my daughters’. One day she told me she was worried our apartment was haunted because she always heard groaning in the night. LOL!

Arkady | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5115 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5146 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "14677"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BSLpIhH1FLNbV2Qdpb/F67tu7brrgw1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(20) "rkdillon@verizon.net"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(21) "/forums/users/arkady/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2008-08-04 21:50:38"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(20) "HL9P1Plx6tnm1l8GiJvd"
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(14677)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

It’s lucky you don’t have a very thin Shelley, Slopes.

zag0r | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5156 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5149 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(6) "184861"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(5) "zag0r"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$B8NqdTV5KbklXy8yLVw6i9FMhe3X5Y."
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(5) "zag0r"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(21) "ah_yaaak@hushmail.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 13:28:01"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(5) "zag0r"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(184861)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(1) {
    [0]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

That’s Kurt and to get back on topic, I am Celine ear plugs.

slopefarm | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5116 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5150 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(3) "655"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BK7dzbqXJe9TV6iU0glcNZiXdOt9CR1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(18) "jrubin@law.nyc.gov"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(24) "/forums/users/slopefarm/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:11:42"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(655)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

Well, having borne the Bronte the criticism, I still don’t know what the Dickens he was talking about.

Arkady | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5149 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5115 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "14677"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BSLpIhH1FLNbV2Qdpb/F67tu7brrgw1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(20) "rkdillon@verizon.net"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(21) "/forums/users/arkady/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2008-08-04 21:50:38"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(20) "HL9P1Plx6tnm1l8GiJvd"
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(14677)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

He could Hardy be serious, could he?

slopefarm | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5156 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5151 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(3) "655"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BK7dzbqXJe9TV6iU0glcNZiXdOt9CR1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(18) "jrubin@law.nyc.gov"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(24) "/forums/users/slopefarm/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:11:42"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(655)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

do I have to spell it out, tinker? Seamus Heaney is an Irish poet. A very good one. Arkady punned on his last name above. I added a pun in response. In the pun, the name Seamus stands in phonetically for [a]shamed of”. I am not sure on which James’s behalf you are taking umbrage, but in doing so, you missed the point, and the fun. And that’s all the Wordsworth saying on the topic.

thetinkerswagon | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5115 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5116 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "21531"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$B9fa6hkzhGwaxF0yusnHu3jP27xv4Y0"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(27) "service@thetinkerswagon.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(30) "http://www.thetinkerswagon.com"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:05:31"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(15) "thetinkerswagon"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(21531)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(1) {
    [0]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(1) {
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

slope farm: Seamus is the galic for James and I do not see what he has to do with this.

Arkady | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5151 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5149 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "14677"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BSLpIhH1FLNbV2Qdpb/F67tu7brrgw1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(20) "rkdillon@verizon.net"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(21) "/forums/users/arkady/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2008-08-04 21:50:38"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(20) "HL9P1Plx6tnm1l8GiJvd"
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(14677)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

O’Casey, Slopey.

slopefarm | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5116 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5156 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(3) "655"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BK7dzbqXJe9TV6iU0glcNZiXdOt9CR1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(18) "jrubin@law.nyc.gov"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(24) "/forums/users/slopefarm/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:11:42"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(655)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

that’s terrible, arkady. You should be a Seamus yourself.

Arkady | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5149 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5115 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "14677"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BSLpIhH1FLNbV2Qdpb/F67tu7brrgw1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(20) "rkdillon@verizon.net"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(21) "/forums/users/arkady/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2008-08-04 21:50:38"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(20) "HL9P1Plx6tnm1l8GiJvd"
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(14677)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

It’s your Heaney that’ll be given the Wood, dibs.

daveinbedstuy | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5156 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5151 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(4) "3864"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(13) "daveinbedstuy"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BtJYyObAQmff2MQp.qFP7/kmwU1bBZ1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(13) "daveinbedstuy"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(19) "djl135e54@yahoo.com"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(55) "http://bstoner.wpengine.com/forums/users/daveinbedstuy/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:23:53"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(13) "daveinbedstuy"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(3864)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

Cate will be cummings here soon and after all your Tolkien, you will both be Rowling out with a Hardy kick in the Ash.

slopefarm | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5115 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5116 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(3) "655"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BK7dzbqXJe9TV6iU0glcNZiXdOt9CR1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(18) "jrubin@law.nyc.gov"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(24) "/forums/users/slopefarm/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2017-08-10 14:11:42"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(0) ""
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(9) "slopefarm"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(655)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

Arkady, you are the best at literary puns and allusions, Pound for Pound. But this isn’t over. Not til the fat lady Synges.

Arkady | 9 years and 11 months ago

string(1) "1"
object(WP_User)#5149 (8) {
  ["data"]=>
  object(stdClass)#5152 (12) {
    ["ID"]=>
    string(5) "14677"
    ["user_login"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_pass"]=>
    string(34) "$P$BSLpIhH1FLNbV2Qdpb/F67tu7brrgw1"
    ["user_nicename"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["user_email"]=>
    string(20) "rkdillon@verizon.net"
    ["user_url"]=>
    string(21) "/forums/users/arkady/"
    ["user_registered"]=>
    string(19) "2008-08-04 21:50:38"
    ["user_activation_key"]=>
    string(20) "HL9P1Plx6tnm1l8GiJvd"
    ["user_status"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["display_name"]=>
    string(6) "Arkady"
    ["spam"]=>
    string(1) "0"
    ["deleted"]=>
    string(1) "0"
  }
  ["ID"]=>
  int(14677)
  ["caps"]=>
  array(2) {
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["cap_key"]=>
  string(15) "wp_capabilities"
  ["roles"]=>
  array(2) {
    [0]=>
    string(10) "subscriber"
    [1]=>
    string(15) "bbp_participant"
  }
  ["allcaps"]=>
  array(4) {
    ["read"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["level_0"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["subscriber"]=>
    bool(true)
    ["bbp_participant"]=>
    bool(true)
  }
  ["filter"]=>
  NULL
  ["site_id":"WP_User":private]=>
  int(1)
}

That needs a Swift response.