How do you (and your teens) use your back yard - seeking suggestions

Hi everyone. With summer arriving I’m starting to think about how best to maximize my outdoor space. I have a 2 family brownstone, my family uses the upper unit and we rent the ground floor unit.

Right now the way the outdoor space is configured, we have a deck directly off our kitchen/living space with stairs leading down to the full back yard. Underneath the deck I have a partitioned-off space for the garden apt. It’s their private space separated by a low wall, and we use the open area for our garden. This lower garden has a concrete platform at the stair base leading across the width of the garden, with a grass yard beyond. Hedges and flowering shrubs line one side.

When my daughter was younger she would play out there in the grass with friends but now she’s a teen I’m in a quandary about how to use this space. I don’t currently have any seating in this lower area – if we are going to sit we tend to do so on the upper deck because it’s easily accessible. I’m hesitant to lose my grass because it’s such a great feature, and I love seeing the green, but it’s feeling like a waste these days.
Does anyone have suggestions for what I can do to make my kid want to get off her screens and go out there – either on her own or with a friend. Heck I’d even be ok with her bringing a screen out there if it meant fresh air! At the moment I’m thinking about getting a beach cabana-style daybed where she could go to lounge. I’d lose some grass space but could be a good trade off as a cozy hang out.

I’d love to hear how you’re all using your spaces and maybe I can get some inspiration. Thanks in advance!

hotpinksharpie

in Garden 1 month ago

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Brownstone Home Inspection | 1 month ago

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cate, my approach is more incentivizing than what my mother’s was: “so long as you live under my roof…….”.

cate | 1 month ago

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Thank you for the wise parenting advice, including this good idea we had not thought of: “When you maintain a 3.5 gpa you can tell me what you are going to do. until then, i tell you what you are going to do.”

Brownstone Home Inspection | 1 month ago

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echo putnamdenzian. some kids in the city do not seem to venture out too much. Unlike the ‘burbs where i grew up, we have to keep them close because it is the city and in turn they end up sitting indoors on computer games, often playing against friends who might only live a few doors away. as they fully age into their teens years, they will not want to be around their parents and they will often not want to partake in things their parents like. it is normal. our son would go to the park one block from our house and meet his friends. i often wondered what could be so much better over there for these boys (other than girls) and one day i was walking through the park and found them sitting on a bench talking. they were not smoking anything and i heard no bad language; they were sitting like three adults and talking about things i might have found mundane.

what i did do, especially during the school year or when the weather was really nice out, was take his computer devices away (this was a big deal when I first did it). When he challenged me on that I told him “when you maintain a 3.5 gpa you can tell me what you are going to do. until then, i tell you what you are going to do”. he is now a rising junior at SUNY Maritime and doing very, very well. He manages his own life and has done so since before he graduated high school.

As parents, we have to find ways to give them space to get them to that point. it will be different for every child and every family. One thing we did do was find out what he liked (baseball) and we moved in that direction with him. It is much easier for parents to follow them and their leads (so long as it is healthy; if we really do not enjoy their interests, keep in mind, it is only a few short years and ALL parents rue the day when they wish they had those years back) than for us to try to impart what we like on them.

Putnamdenizen | 1 month ago

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My son wasn’t really an outdoor kid – although these days he is bombing around Montreal on his bicycle. I wouldn’t put too much energy in trying to create something your daughter may or may not want to use.

cate | 1 month ago

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The deck sounds nice. It’s impressive you’ve used your garden so much. Ours seems to be usable only in May before the arrival of the fearsome mosquitoes. Maybe put some nie furniture down there for sitting and lounging and a table, maybe some barbecue equipment. Maybe she’d want to do a little gardening, plant something in a container? We have some painted metal chairs and a table from Target (a copy of Fermob). I’ve admired metal tables and seating from Hay.

BobMarvin | 1 month ago

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Couldn’t you put lawn furniture on the grass?