Contractors & Chauvinism
Chauvinism is bad for business. The second largest group to purchase homes, after married couples,are single women. On my block alone at least a third of the homeowners are single women. BTW this is the group that by and large started CHNA which spearheaded the Landmarking of Crown Heights North…yes the core group (the Board)…
Chauvinism is bad for business.
The second largest group to purchase homes, after married couples,are single women. On my block alone at least a third of the homeowners are single women. BTW this is the group that by and large started CHNA which spearheaded the Landmarking of Crown Heights North…yes the core group (the Board) was mainly women.
While it may seem archaic to post on gender inequality the fact remains that in spite of our buying power many contractors/building supply vendors make inappropriate remarks and behave in offensive ways that frankly will continue to loose them business, at least mine.
Todays’s event prompted this post.
During a transaction at the electrical supply store on Rogers and Licoln Place in response to my question on price, the proprietor made a comment about women ,trying to be jokey I guess.
THen his assistant said: “Want me to beat her?”and chuckled.
I could hardly believe it.
“Excuse me…what did you say?”
“oh…maybe I should get my whip…ha ha”
“THis is not amusing…joking about violence against women is not funny….it’s offensive and you are out of line”
He got very tense, stopped laughing and the owner stepped in and apologized, then the staff member who said it apologized …
In the past weeks while this current renovation has been underway some of the comments made by folks interviewed:
“Don’t need to worry your pretty little head about that” (not hired)
“You look so delicate”(not hired)
“Oh you seem like you have a brain and know what your are talking about” (lol NOT HIRED this guy had the thickest Bensonhurst accent imaginable)
“linda…sweetheart”(not hired)
One friend shared that a contractor actually made a physical pass at her while she interviewed him for roof replacement…this woman owns a couple of apartment BUILDINGS plus her own brownstone…she was mortified and he was not hired.
This is not everyone but the lack of awareness is common enough amongst contractors’& vendors’ and prompted this post.
I’ve worked for architecture firms, developers and a construction company. Things have gotten a lot better since the days when the head of the development firm I worked at called me honey all the time and constantly tried to give me shoulder massages, mostly in front of the other predominantly male staff, and wouldn’t let me go out into the field without a male escort, often the oily staff of building managers. I remember applying for jobs and getting call backs and having firms hang up on me after they heard my voice (my real name could either male or female).
At work now, I definitely notice that construction staff talk more nicely around me than they do when they’re with groups of guys, so they are guarded. It also probably stacks the cards differently that I’m now in charge of the project purse, but I’ve also noticed I’ve become alot more firm and decisive about how things are to be done.
I did have a recent problem with some Time Warner guys that came up on my low roof to do something for one of my neighborswith that spaghetti of wire they have draped everywhere. They were very rude and dismissive with me when I asked about what they were up to and whther all the wires were active; inexcusable!
I am going through the exact same thing with my renovation. I got estimates from numerous plumbers and electricians, and some of them only wanted to deal with my husband. Despite my telling them all that I was paying for and managing the entire renovation, and that I should be their point of contact and my husband had no decision making authority, some of them still couldn’t get it through their heads that they should call me, not him.
Aside from it being annoying to be treated like an after-thought the contractors who acted like this didn’t get hired because I could just forsee endless games of telephone in the future, where they called my husband for a decision, who would have to call me; who would call the plumber/electrician, who would then call my husband back instead of me. This has happened a few times to me before, and has caused needless delays and aggrevation.
I even had a company explicitly tell me that they would NOT come to my house to give me an estimate unless both me and my husband were home. Even though I told them that the house was in my name alone, and that I was the only homeowner, they still refused to deal with me without my husband being present. Unbelievable.
I’m just saying that this kind of nonsense happens a lot more than most men realize, and this attitude can have a substantive impact on your project. It’s not just something that we should deal with and get over, it can cause serious delays that impact inspection schedules, quality of life, and have financial consequences when construction gets seriously behind schedule due to communication telephone tag.
/end of rant.
It’s a real problem- maybe some women are more sensitive about it than others, but it is still a real issue. I deal with it depending on the person- some I’ll joke back with. Others- I remind them who is paying whom. We had nightmare contractors from hell gut reno’ing the building next door and they treated us like we were totally stupid when we complained about things they were doing- like coming into MM’s back yard and peeing against her wall. That stopped after a phone call to their boss with a rundown of who I knew and who I would call.
There are men who have no problem abusing or trying to intimidate women but would never dream of trying it with a guy. I’m dealing with such a situation now- and the sad part is some women buy into it too.
But I do find most people don’t mean anything by it and especially with construction people, they like testing you. If the make you uncomfortable, walk out or fire them, if they compliment you, thank them and then get back to a discussion of business. If they tease you, tease back but make sure you set the limits. Mutual respect is genderless.
“you should respect the values of the supply house when you go into their place of business, no matter how foreign it seems to you” – Are you kidding me???
If you’re interviewing contractors and get any attitude that you don’t appreciate (whether you’re male or female), end the discussion there, telling them they just lost any chance of the job. Money – or the absence thereof – talks.
BTW….I work in construction, BIG construction, and spend lots of time on site with the trades. When I get attitude I remind them that I’m a representative of the people that pay their (very big) contracts. I don’t mind being called “ma’am” when it follows “I’m very sorry.”
Sort of off the topic- As someone who lived in NY her whole life I find it so weird that the OP called it the accent a “Bensonhurst” accent. In my day everyone in Brooklyn/All nabes had a “Brooklyn” accent. It was never differentiated by nabe.
Just an observation, not trying to make light of the post as I find the behavior of the store clerks sexist.
Maybe this should have gone under the “signs of gentrification” thread that was posted earier this week – The abscense of a Brooklyn accent as a sign of gentrification.
This is an original topic and a very interesting thing to consider.
I agree with you about contractors being chauvinist. The profession attracts a great deal of misogynists as well.
I need simple work done in my kitchen. They talk to me like I am brainless. One guy who was mexican with no papers thought I should pay him $3000. for a job that will take 5 days. No electrical or plumbing. Just some painting and putting down vinyl tiles in a small galley kitchen.
The best part is I should buy all my supplies and materials.
He wanted $3000. straight for his personal salary. He will do the job alone.
The contractors in Ny are a nasty joke.
The job is still open.
sounds like you make stereotype out of any male involved in home improvement. And the eman got in crossfire by proxy.
Males of all different occupations have very strange thoughts about women. It just hardware supply store blokes do not talk to any women so when they see you they cannot hold their ideas.
Aside from the whip remarks, I think you’d do better to get them at their own game. I’m fighting age & gender & it’s worked for me. When I phone my plumber now he tells me I don’t need him, I can do it myself. Similarly w/ electricians. Even some really macho masons “saw the light” when they’d run out of sand & I hauled out a 70lb bag I had on hand. Snappy’s right – get them to rise to your level otherwise you’re cutting off your nose to spite your face.