Contractors & Chauvinism
Chauvinism is bad for business. The second largest group to purchase homes, after married couples,are single women. On my block alone at least a third of the homeowners are single women. BTW this is the group that by and large started CHNA which spearheaded the Landmarking of Crown Heights North…yes the core group (the Board)…
Chauvinism is bad for business.
The second largest group to purchase homes, after married couples,are single women. On my block alone at least a third of the homeowners are single women. BTW this is the group that by and large started CHNA which spearheaded the Landmarking of Crown Heights North…yes the core group (the Board) was mainly women.
While it may seem archaic to post on gender inequality the fact remains that in spite of our buying power many contractors/building supply vendors make inappropriate remarks and behave in offensive ways that frankly will continue to loose them business, at least mine.
Todays’s event prompted this post.
During a transaction at the electrical supply store on Rogers and Licoln Place in response to my question on price, the proprietor made a comment about women ,trying to be jokey I guess.
THen his assistant said: “Want me to beat her?”and chuckled.
I could hardly believe it.
“Excuse me…what did you say?”
“oh…maybe I should get my whip…ha ha”
“THis is not amusing…joking about violence against women is not funny….it’s offensive and you are out of line”
He got very tense, stopped laughing and the owner stepped in and apologized, then the staff member who said it apologized …
In the past weeks while this current renovation has been underway some of the comments made by folks interviewed:
“Don’t need to worry your pretty little head about that” (not hired)
“You look so delicate”(not hired)
“Oh you seem like you have a brain and know what your are talking about” (lol NOT HIRED this guy had the thickest Bensonhurst accent imaginable)
“linda…sweetheart”(not hired)
One friend shared that a contractor actually made a physical pass at her while she interviewed him for roof replacement…this woman owns a couple of apartment BUILDINGS plus her own brownstone…she was mortified and he was not hired.
This is not everyone but the lack of awareness is common enough amongst contractors’& vendors’ and prompted this post.
There are plenty of skilled professional contractors and suppliers out there so just keep on not hiring the a$$holes. If they have no respect for you then they’ll do what they want on the job instead of what you’re paying for.
I have my own tools and I know how to use them. I sweat pipes. But I don’t have to prove anything to them. I’m not doing any heavy lifting – that’s what I’m paying them for.
She who holds the checkbook holds the power.
PS I bought a wreck a long time ago. Got a lot of ‘YOU’RE the owner?’. I assured them that it was OK, that it was legal for women to own property in New York State. They rarely GOT the sarcasm. rarely get that attitude any more.
“Males of all different occupations have very strange thoughts about women. It just hardware supply store blokes do not talk to any women so when they see you they cannot hold their ideas.”
LOL, bobjohn.
Argentina wrote:
“This guy had the thickest Bensonhurst accent imaginable.”
Tsk…tsk, Argentina.
Shame on you!
Lack of awareness!
You are not hired, Argentina.
I’m a guy. Guys can be quite crude and joke around with one another – it’s a way of relating that can be foreign to many women – greeting your friends has b*st*rds, telling them they look like sh*t – but the examples the OT posted are totally off for both professional reasons and because it is sexist and intimidating. Some women could dish it back and maybe deal with it that way, but they shouldn’t have too.
I guarantee the shop attendant would not have spoken that way to a male customer, and definitely would not have said that to a woman in the presence of a husband, boyfriend or other guy that the woman was with as it would potentially have resulted in a serious beat down.
If a contractor was that jocular with a man, or made such dismissive comments with respect to questions or issues raised, they would not get the business from the guy and no one would be saying “you need to be more thick skinned”.
this reminds me of something that happened recently in my new nabe, Bay Ridge: I went to a hardware store on 3rd avenue to buy a bag of steel wool to plug up radiator holes. I walk in and the 20 something guy asks may I help you? I said, ” I need a bag of steel wool please”. He responded, “well what grade steel wool? What is HE planning on using it for? Because that makes a difference….” My jaw dropped! No way in hellz would anyone say that in my old ‘hood (cobble hill) not even the old timers. And hellao, i’m in my 30’s not some frail little old lady. Damn!
Townhouser, I think with certain people there’s nothing you can really do to “prove” yourself and change their attitude. I was lucky enough to work with a GC who treated me with respect (that should not be a question, but I’m sure there are lots out there who might be problematic for a single female client). There may have been things said by the subs to the GC, that he thankfully dealt with and did not pass on. I see this all the time in the corporate world so I was pleasantly surprised with my experience with construction. I would certainly be up in arms if I had a husband involved in the project and he were treated differently than I was.
BHS, you sound like me! except no matter how much I do, or ‘prove’, the dynamic only improves temporarily; then it’s right back to the you’re-just-a-female-attitude even when I have to explain to people how to do their own job… so ridiculous. But I look at it more like a stupid-people problem than a sexist-issue, even though I know there would never even be a discussion if I was male.
Hang in there Argentina. I have been lucky in that I have not had a problem with this with the contractors I’ve used (I’m a youngish woman). I have been asked many times by various tradespeople where/who my husband is, but it simplifies things that there is no husband, ha ha, so there’s no option but to address things directly with me. I am also very hands-on, which over time has won the respect of some tradespeople (the rest probably think of me as the crazy lady who asks a lot of questions). Most of the people who worked in my house saw me there dirty in my work clothes painting, fixing, or building.
“where they called my husband for a decision, who would have to call me; who would call the plumber/electrician, who would then call my husband back instead of me.”
Seems like your husband’s fault here, lol. Why didn’t your husband just tell the contractor you were in charge, and refuse to discuss it?
Ask him that tonight over dinner 🙂