Running Child Upstairs
Hello. I have been living in my condo for 5 weeks. Immediately upon moving in, I realized that the child in the apartment above mine runs the length of the apartment–whose layout is the same as mine– anywhere from a few minutes to as many as 45 minutes at a time. About two weeks ago…
Hello. I have been living in my condo for 5 weeks. Immediately upon moving in, I realized that the child in the apartment above mine runs the length of the apartment–whose layout is the same as mine– anywhere from a few minutes to as many as 45 minutes at a time. About two weeks ago after having to listen to that for 45 minutes, I went upstairs, introduced myself and politely stated that running for 45 minutes non-stop was jarring and that I couldn’t even hear my TV. The father asked me what he wanted me to do. I told him that the solution was up to him and his wife. I remained polite but clear about the noise being unnerving. He insists on my giving him a solution. I noted that in cases like this carpeting seemed like the solution. He said, “I won’t install carpeting. Anyway, I don’t think it will matter.†I told him not be so negative after pushing for a solution. He wanted us to agree on a schedule. I said, “It’s obvious I’m not home all week from 8 am to 8 pm. However when I come home, I’d like to be able to relax and hear my TV or just read.†He said, “That seems reasonable.†For the most part, there hasn’t been running after 8 pm during the week. The thing is, the weekends are unbearable with that child. I came home on Sunday night around 5 pm and by 6 pm I had to put in earplugs. Ditto for tonight. What would be my next step? He has said NO to carpeting. Am I being unreasonable? Should I stay quite about that noise? Should I just go to the condo association? Try with him again? I’d like to get along with my neighbors but it has to be a two-way street. The only thing, I am obviously the one in the weaker position. Thank you!
While I am sympathetic to the OP’s plight and believe he/she should definitely have peace and quiet when needed, I think its unrealistic and unfair to say there is something wrong with the child or parent in question upstairs. Anyone who has kids knows that there are times that no matter what you do the kids will do what they want. That being said, I agree with the people who say that the best way to find a compromise is to be friendly and try to see the situation from both sides.
newsouthsloper: check your House Rules for any requirements. For many years condos had almost no rules but that is changing as rules do force people who live together to act with more repsect when needed.
tolerance for their kids’ noises is something that someone might extend as a courtesy. It’s not an inherent right. If the noise bothers neighbor, obligation is on parent to resolve the matter. Parent hood aint easy but it’s a life decision one has to deal with all the corresponding issues when they pop up.
I sometimes have issues with telling my son to stop jumping around but I certainly aint going to say it’s no my issue or is NOT an issue when neighbors coming complaining about the noise.
northsloperenter- I agree with that- kids make noise and I would hate for all that exuberance and joy in life be smacked out of them. That is criminal on so many levels.But parents are there to raise them and socialize them so they can function in society. And we get too many people on both sides of the issue who are not willing to work with the other side.
brooklynchicken- I think the thing about rugs is actually a NYC regulation but I could be wrong on that.
Stonergut- there used to be a family who lived above me with a very active 10 year old. They kept apologizing and yelling at him everytimme he made noise and I told them to please not worry about it. But then, he always went to bed by 9 and they had rugs as well. Still, I did enjoy hearing him have a good time upstairs and he didn’t keep it up for very long.
My upstairs neighbors were great and sensitive to the fact they lived in an apartment. Parents need to be more sensitive to the fact that apartment living is not like living in your own single family home. And it isn’t fair for parents to get their backs up when someone complains about noise – they need to be more proactive.
Hate to be a downer, but what is the condo board going to do? Even if you ‘Get Them Involved’ – A. It sounds like a small building, so they are probably self managing and of limited experience, and B. They have absolutely no recourse.
Further to what Stonergut commented – Is it really that bad? I live above running kids and they are usually just noisy for a few hours during the day. Its also not that LOUD. Is it 20, 30 decibals? More? Less? is it as loud as a jet engine? I doubt it. Quiet enjoyment is one thing, but it does not imply “silent” enjoyment. Again, I repeat -The condo board cannot do anything for you unless they are exceeding some very high decible level at night (Usually past 10 PM). It is not a coop and they have virtually no power over an owner’s behavior.
Also – You guys mentioning 80% floor covering…I have never seen that and it most certainly is not in my condo paperwork. Where does that come from? Maybe only applies to rentals or coop’s or something.
“Even us childless folk have to deal with other people’s children and they affect us too,”
Of course they do. I would not like to live underneath a young child, to be honest.
But when the child made noise I wouldn’t think it was due to negligent parents or the child having some type of developmental problem. I would realize it was because children make noise.
I frankly did not understand this before I had kid and was pretty ungenerous toward parents with young children.
I do think parents should put carpeting and/or padding down if their downstairs neighbors complain. It won’t eliminate the noise, but it will certainly help.
I do not think parents should chain the kid to a wall and gag him or smack him around for playing.
And I am glad that I’m moving to a garden apartment and will not need to worry about my kid driving the downstairs neighbor nutso.
quote:
Am I insane for always having enjoyed waking up to kid sounds?
clinically!
*rob*
i was wondering this the other day.. are there child-free buildings in new york city?
Posted by: Butterfly at September 8, 2009 11:37 AM
Yes Rob. They are called Nursing homes.