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  1. “There is no such thing as non-organic maple syrup. Know why? BECAUSE MAPLE SYPUP COMES FROM FUCKING TREES THAT GROW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING WOODS, THAT’S WHY!!!!! IF YOU WANTED NON-ORGANIC MAPLE SYRUP YOU WOULD HAVE TO TAKE THE RIDICULOUS STEP OF DOING SOMETHING LIKE FERTILIZING A MAPLE FOREST, WHICH WOULD (1) BANKRUPT YOU AND (2) GET YOU LABELED DUMBEST ASSHOLE IN THE UNIVERSE.”

    Lech – we know this.

  2. “Great effort has gone into selecting woodland farmers whose standards represent stewardship to the environment and our planet.”

    OK guys, I’m gonna let you in on a secret here. The people who actually make shit like this – Vermont maple syrup makers and whatnot – all know it’s a total crock of shit and think it’s hilarious that you city folk actually fall for it.

    Buy organic chicken, buy organic milk (those two actually matter).

    There is no such thing as non-organic maple syrup. Know why? BECAUSE MAPLE SYPUP COMES FROM FUCKING TREES THAT GROW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING WOODS, THAT’S WHY!!!!! IF YOU WANTED NON-ORGANIC MAPLE SYRUP YOU WOULD HAVE TO TAKE THE RIDICULOUS STEP OF DOING SOMETHING LIKE FERTILIZING A MAPLE FOREST, WHICH WOULD (1) BANKRUPT YOU AND (2) GET YOU LABELED DUMBEST ASSHOLE IN THE UNIVERSE.

  3. I like maple syrup sometimes, but I mostly buy generic high fructose corn syrup flavored product (certified zero percent organic).

    It’s what I grew up on, so to me pancakes and waffles just don’t taste the same without it.

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