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  1. My father told me this.

    Man walking along the sidewalk sees boy whapping another boy with a hose.

    “Hey what are you doing, STOP THAT.”

    The kid glares at him.

    “Where’d you get that?” man asks.

    “From my father’s iron lung.” the kid snarls back.

    “What’d your father say?” the man asks

    Kid: “AAAARRRHHHH”

  2. The big Lebowski blew me away. I saw it 2 years ago, it was old already. It was totally nuts, like a trip, it didn’t stop. The bowling, the acid, the Nihilists, Jeff Bridges was awesome and John Goodwin faboo.

  3. This is the only joke I know:

    Three tired hard working strings walk into the bar…

    They sat down and they didn”t get waited on so the first string walked up to the bar and asked for three beers. The bartender said, ”I’m sorry buddy we don”t serve strings in here.” The string walks back to the table and and tells his friends what the bartender said.

    ”I”ve been here before and gotten a drink, I”ll go get us something to drink,”” said the second string.

    The second sting walks up to the bar and politely asks the bartender for three beers. The bartender says, ”I thought I told your buddy we don’t serve strings in here.”’ So the second string walks back and and tells his friends what has happened.

    The third string says ”’Oh, I come in here all the time, I know how to order something to drink” The third sting walks to the restroom where he ties himself up and messes up his hair. He then walks out to the bar and asks the bartender for three beers.

    The bartender kind of looks at him weird and says, ”You a string?”

    “I’m a frayed knot,”he replies.

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