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  1. And then there’s the phone call he gets from a friend: “Hey dude, I just realized I totally left something at your place, can I come over and get it? Where did I leave it? Well I’m not sure, maybe on the bookshelf, maybe under the sofa, maybe in your ass… I’ll just look around if that’s cool.”

  2. I’m still cracking up over the drugs in the ass story. I mean how do you pull something like that off? “Oh wow…. that is sooooo weird, I have no idea how that got in there. No seriously. Drugs in my ass? I had no idea. What? Who else might have left them there? Well gosh, there’s a long list of people really. No I don’t know all of their names, what do I look like, a social register?”

  3. One of my sisters, who isn’t actually related to me by blood but we are voluntary siblings, grew up in the house next to ours. They had a pump handle well and no running water. When they needed water for anything they would take a bucket out to the well and pump water with the pump handle. Obviously no flush toilet either. They had an outhouse. I always thought their outhouse was less smelly than ours.

    Now she’s a litigator at a big NYC law firm.

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