For reasons unclear, Snappy refused to read all 35 of my bad limericks, so I’m posting them all now, in my longest ever blog post, and, no, shut up, I can’t post the link. (Apologies to blowfish, cmu, lesbiman, park_sloper and rf, and anyone else I inadvertently forgot — in part I need personal deets for a limerick about you, and in part the ref called time.)
There’s a great group of loveable losers
Who proudly all call themselves PLUSAs
Debate granite and cats
And meatballs and rats
Their one common trait is they’re boozers
Adam Dahill is our mortgage broker
His evil blog twin more the joker
Loves his wife and fast cars
Getting hammered in bars
PLUSA ladies just want to play poke-her
Our dead architect’s Amzi Hill
To sleep with him PLUSAs would kill
Pied Piper of Bed Stuy
Where he’s everyone’s guy
But in person he’s really quite chill
The erudite clam is Arkady
She and her cats are quite shady
She corrects all our grammar
She’s great with a hammer
Quite raunchy for one refined lady
President of the PLUSAs is Biff
On most every topic he’ll riff
He loves PBRs
But not the Death Star
For his puns you will need to be stiff (nh)
Benson wears a borsalino
He’d raze every Brownstone that we know
Of Italians he’s proud
Debates bxgrl quite loud
And they’re polpettes, not meatballs, yeah, we know
bxgrl makes the PLUSA’s tiaras
Has so many cats that it scares us
E-married to CGar
She can’t let him stray far
And her sole she is willing to bare us
Our Cruise Director is CGar
With the PLUSA ladies he goes far
He lives with CDog
Was once nice on the blog
Of our secrets he is the keeper
chicken now lives cross the pond
Heads to Ditmas Park and beyond
To Mrs. chicken and the egg
Have a thigh, eat a breast, grab a leg
For a furriner, we’re very fond
Secretary of the PLUSAs is cobble
Who tries to keep us out of trouble
CGar lives in her tent
But BH is her gent
She fills brownie requests on the double (**THWACK** SNORT! :P)
What more can one say about dave
He’s every hot Asian guy’s slave
Mexicans, Phillippinos
The kitchen staffs he knows
His phallus collection’s the rage
Our resident drunk is DeLepp
To most any bar he will schlep
He knocks off our glasses
And grabs all our asses
And then lo sientos, you bet
Denton’s our resident expert
For Raunch Hour he’s quite the sexpert
While photography’s great
It’s the ladies who rate
But face-sitting is gonna get him hurt
DH is coated in teflon
Our very own Williamsburg Don
The youngest of PLUSAs
He thinks we’re all losers
To hang with us must tie one on
donatella’s a babe in Ft. Greene
Landed gentry, she lives like a queen
dave ogles her leather,
She holds it together
At karaoke she causes a scene
The trampiest PLUSA’s ET
Her blog names we count 33
Big hair, tacky heels
For her clients she kneels
Causing Brooklyn Heights neighbours to flee
The Pasty Brit is etson
Just wait ’til the alcohol sets in
Once he moved to Toronto
Bought a North Slope place pronto
He’ll be back among PLUSAs we’re bettin’
EmilyNonko’s the blog’s new writer
To PLUSA events we invite her
Horrified by our antics
She still posts all our tips
To ban us we’re all gonna fight her
Jessi’s the queen of Raunch Hour
For face-sitting she’s got the power
She loves to throw down
At bars around town
Not much of a delicate flower
Jester is deep, into books
Loves giving the ladies the looks
But when he flips the switch
PLUSAs hide in a ditch
‘Til he worms his way home hook or crook
Kens is the Boy with the Goat
Arrived from Mongolia by boat
Was once a goat herder
At 8 trained to murder
Now makes toys for Santa by rote
Lechacal’s known as The Jackal
For many his posts raise their hackles
In the circus wears tights
And with hipsters he fights
And he’ll scare you ’til you hear him cackle
Legion writes blog posts in verse
Some PLUSAs think them quite terse
Gives us condoms to spare
As if we had a prayer
But *rob* still stuck them in his murse
Montrose Morris our resident scholar
The Right Wing can get her to holler
She’s bxgrl’s slumlord
Gives stray cats room and board
And her columns should earn her top dollar
more4less loves a good deal
For brownies, begs, borrows and steals
As a wingman he’s great
For a duplex he’ll wait
And makes low ball offers unreal
Mr. B is our gracious blog host
Of Brooklyn he covers the most
The OT’s often late
But we still think he’s great
‘Til he bans us and then we’re all toast
Noki’s our MILF in the City
Objectively she’s very pretty
She’s moving to Brooklyn we hope
The Heights, Cobble Hill, NOT Park Slope
If she stays in Manhattan a pity
Our Union Rep is Pete
Curmudgeonly, not very sweet
Tears down posters by night
Gives BoCoCa a fright
Making lost puppy owners retreat
*rob* lives with his Pit in Park Slope
On the blog every day does he mope
From peacocks to poo mist
Bedbugs can’t resist
For directions we’ve given up hope
Our voice of reason is Slopey
Though all of us think him quite dopey
A fly-fishing Jew
Who plays basketball too
His house nearly earned him a trophy
Our Glitter Goddess is Snappy
Foods but bacon make her unhappy
She fears roaches and rats
Has invisible cats
It’s Serena who makes her quite happy
THL is a PLUSA in Jersey
Refuses to meet us, says “We’ll see”
Has a house full of cats
Self-described she is bats
And when she debates shows no mercy
wasder’s a rock and roll groupie
His months on the road make him loopy
His videos are great
He takes photos that rate
Still as one of the PLUSAs he’s screwy
WonTon’s gender the biggest surprise
We’d thought her a hot Asian guy
With her secret unlocked
dave was totally shocked
Karaoke won her first prize
quote:
And it is Labor Day on monday. An important holiday where you should honor all real working people..
whoa. for some reason i honestly never even thought about what the holiday was about. is that really what the holiday is about? celebrating labor!? that just sounds really REALLY weird. i thought labor was latin for end of summer or something
WHAT A BUNCH OF LOSERS YOU ALL ARE!!!!! I can’t believe I’ve been posting with you people for nearly a year and a half, and I finally lower my standards and agree to meet all of you in person, and that’s the best team you can field??? That’s your A Team? Really?
quote:
Are you ever grateful for anything?
uh, not really. the Universe provides us with everything we deserve. there’s nothing to be grateful for.
if i deserved a crappier life i’d have one.
if i deserved a better life, i’d have one.
dont get pissy at me, because i dont get pissy at the Universe.
*rob*
Lo sieinto!
“I can’t believe I’ve been posting with you people for nearly a year and a half”
BIGGEST LOSER. ; )
For reasons unclear, Snappy refused to read all 35 of my bad limericks, so I’m posting them all now, in my longest ever blog post, and, no, shut up, I can’t post the link. (Apologies to blowfish, cmu, lesbiman, park_sloper and rf, and anyone else I inadvertently forgot — in part I need personal deets for a limerick about you, and in part the ref called time.)
There’s a great group of loveable losers
Who proudly all call themselves PLUSAs
Debate granite and cats
And meatballs and rats
Their one common trait is they’re boozers
Adam Dahill is our mortgage broker
His evil blog twin more the joker
Loves his wife and fast cars
Getting hammered in bars
PLUSA ladies just want to play poke-her
Our dead architect’s Amzi Hill
To sleep with him PLUSAs would kill
Pied Piper of Bed Stuy
Where he’s everyone’s guy
But in person he’s really quite chill
The erudite clam is Arkady
She and her cats are quite shady
She corrects all our grammar
She’s great with a hammer
Quite raunchy for one refined lady
President of the PLUSAs is Biff
On most every topic he’ll riff
He loves PBRs
But not the Death Star
For his puns you will need to be stiff (nh)
Benson wears a borsalino
He’d raze every Brownstone that we know
Of Italians he’s proud
Debates bxgrl quite loud
And they’re polpettes, not meatballs, yeah, we know
bxgrl makes the PLUSA’s tiaras
Has so many cats that it scares us
E-married to CGar
She can’t let him stray far
And her sole she is willing to bare us
Our Cruise Director is CGar
With the PLUSA ladies he goes far
He lives with CDog
Was once nice on the blog
Of our secrets he is the keeper
chicken now lives cross the pond
Heads to Ditmas Park and beyond
To Mrs. chicken and the egg
Have a thigh, eat a breast, grab a leg
For a furriner, we’re very fond
Secretary of the PLUSAs is cobble
Who tries to keep us out of trouble
CGar lives in her tent
But BH is her gent
She fills brownie requests on the double (**THWACK** SNORT! :P)
What more can one say about dave
He’s every hot Asian guy’s slave
Mexicans, Phillippinos
The kitchen staffs he knows
His phallus collection’s the rage
Our resident drunk is DeLepp
To most any bar he will schlep
He knocks off our glasses
And grabs all our asses
And then lo sientos, you bet
Denton’s our resident expert
For Raunch Hour he’s quite the sexpert
While photography’s great
It’s the ladies who rate
But face-sitting is gonna get him hurt
DH is coated in teflon
Our very own Williamsburg Don
The youngest of PLUSAs
He thinks we’re all losers
To hang with us must tie one on
donatella’s a babe in Ft. Greene
Landed gentry, she lives like a queen
dave ogles her leather,
She holds it together
At karaoke she causes a scene
The trampiest PLUSA’s ET
Her blog names we count 33
Big hair, tacky heels
For her clients she kneels
Causing Brooklyn Heights neighbours to flee
The Pasty Brit is etson
Just wait ’til the alcohol sets in
Once he moved to Toronto
Bought a North Slope place pronto
He’ll be back among PLUSAs we’re bettin’
EmilyNonko’s the blog’s new writer
To PLUSA events we invite her
Horrified by our antics
She still posts all our tips
To ban us we’re all gonna fight her
Jessi’s the queen of Raunch Hour
For face-sitting she’s got the power
She loves to throw down
At bars around town
Not much of a delicate flower
Jester is deep, into books
Loves giving the ladies the looks
But when he flips the switch
PLUSAs hide in a ditch
‘Til he worms his way home hook or crook
Kens is the Boy with the Goat
Arrived from Mongolia by boat
Was once a goat herder
At 8 trained to murder
Now makes toys for Santa by rote
Lechacal’s known as The Jackal
For many his posts raise their hackles
In the circus wears tights
And with hipsters he fights
And he’ll scare you ’til you hear him cackle
Legion writes blog posts in verse
Some PLUSAs think them quite terse
Gives us condoms to spare
As if we had a prayer
But *rob* still stuck them in his murse
Montrose Morris our resident scholar
The Right Wing can get her to holler
She’s bxgrl’s slumlord
Gives stray cats room and board
And her columns should earn her top dollar
more4less loves a good deal
For brownies, begs, borrows and steals
As a wingman he’s great
For a duplex he’ll wait
And makes low ball offers unreal
Mr. B is our gracious blog host
Of Brooklyn he covers the most
The OT’s often late
But we still think he’s great
‘Til he bans us and then we’re all toast
Noki’s our MILF in the City
Objectively she’s very pretty
She’s moving to Brooklyn we hope
The Heights, Cobble Hill, NOT Park Slope
If she stays in Manhattan a pity
Our Union Rep is Pete
Curmudgeonly, not very sweet
Tears down posters by night
Gives BoCoCa a fright
Making lost puppy owners retreat
*rob* lives with his Pit in Park Slope
On the blog every day does he mope
From peacocks to poo mist
Bedbugs can’t resist
For directions we’ve given up hope
Our voice of reason is Slopey
Though all of us think him quite dopey
A fly-fishing Jew
Who plays basketball too
His house nearly earned him a trophy
Our Glitter Goddess is Snappy
Foods but bacon make her unhappy
She fears roaches and rats
Has invisible cats
It’s Serena who makes her quite happy
THL is a PLUSA in Jersey
Refuses to meet us, says “We’ll see”
Has a house full of cats
Self-described she is bats
And when she debates shows no mercy
wasder’s a rock and roll groupie
His months on the road make him loopy
His videos are great
He takes photos that rate
Still as one of the PLUSAs he’s screwy
WonTon’s gender the biggest surprise
We’d thought her a hot Asian guy
With her secret unlocked
dave was totally shocked
Karaoke won her first prize
“Sat at picnic tables and ordered pitcher of beer. Just the way Labor Day weekend should start.”
That does sound so perfect, Pete!
Kens, you weren’t really a goat herder, were you?!
quote:
And it is Labor Day on monday. An important holiday where you should honor all real working people..
whoa. for some reason i honestly never even thought about what the holiday was about. is that really what the holiday is about? celebrating labor!? that just sounds really REALLY weird. i thought labor was latin for end of summer or something
*rob*
Pete, you COMMUNIST!!! Union folks should know better than to go to Hot Bird and bring McDonald’s food!!! ;-p
WHAT A BUNCH OF LOSERS YOU ALL ARE!!!!! I can’t believe I’ve been posting with you people for nearly a year and a half, and I finally lower my standards and agree to meet all of you in person, and that’s the best team you can field??? That’s your A Team? Really?