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  1. So I’m walking over the Bridge last night — a beautiful night, so of course I’m battling tourists like Space Invaders just to keep moving. So I see a guy in the bike lane just standing there straddling his bike, looking ridiculously dazed and confused. Well, I was a Cub Scout (but not a Boy Scout since they ban my people) and I was taught to always be a good Samaritan. So I go over to the guy — yes, in the bike lane, which I should’ve realized was a mistake — and ask him if he’s having trouble with his bike. From a distance, the guy looks hot (viewed from Cleveland as it turns out, because up close, not so much), so I’m thinking it could also be a good pick-up line. After hesitating for a moment, rather than thank me for asking, the guy starts gesticulating wildly and shouting at me to “LOOK OUT FOR THE BIKERS!!”. These damn bikers are so protective of their precious bike lane. I should have known that he would be an a**hole because he was wearing a suit and clearly works on Wall Street. If jessi had been there to cheer me on, I would’ve decked the guy. They don’t call me CGangsta for nothing.

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