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  1. If you see me on the train:

    -please do not clip your nails…I will take out my nail polish and offer to paint them
    -please do not hock and spit…I will say you dropped something.
    -please do not eat your smelly lunch…I will ask for a bite.
    -please close you legs so I can sit next to you….or I will close them for you by accidentally kneeing you.
    -plesae make sure your head doesn’t rest on my shoulder when you’re sleeping on the train…I will lean in and start to sing you a lull-a-bye
    -please don’t stare at me…unless you want to start a fan club on my behalf.

  2. I do “play the door” gemini. I’ve never had anyone call me on it but my response is already in my mind: “I’m doing you a favor. Would you prefer some 400 pounder here??” I always stand sideways.

    If its not me there it usually is someone 300-400 lbs.

  3. THL – I never thought of the hand slider – but great idea to keep your thumb up!

    Also just as bad is the person who likes to “play the door” – which is fine with me except when I am sitting in that first seat by the door and instead of you resting your back against the door, you want to stand sideways so your bookbag/puffy coat/ hood/ is in my face. I usually just push the person hoping they don’t get too loud with me – haha
    Manners people – manners!

  4. I don’t so much mind people keeping their bags on their shoulder so long as they swing it in front of them so it rests on their chest/stomach rather than their back so they aren’t poking anyone with it. I do that with my purses or I hold it down by my legs where there is more room.

    Worse than a pole hogger (because I make them move by giving them a loud excuse me as I push my hand between them and the pole) is the “hand slider”. They grab onto the pole and then their hand slides down until it’s resting on top of yours. O .k. fine once but they keep doing it again and again or they just let it rest there. So creepy. If I get one of those I hold the pole with my thumb sticking up so that if they slide repeatedly I dig my fingernail in the base of their hand just enough so that they get the point. Works like a charm.

  5. Oh MM, you should use your own words not someone elses.

    But I guess, I should be honored and humbled that you quoted me, especially coming from such a notable NYT Quoter.

    I am nothing, if not amused.

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