Open Thread
Need a Hand?
Your Next Project Starts with BrownstonerMost Recent Articles
Need a Hand?
Your Next Project Starts with Brownstoner
Hello, Etson. You are right — I have just been thinking about the What. He wrote that he won’t go to the get-togethers because he knows he has anger issues, that he is a big guy, and doesn’t want to get angry and hurt someone. I take this at his word. He is being honest and I appreciate his thoughtfulness (at knowing his limitations about possibly smashing someone). I sense a rage-level that comes from growing up in the Bed-Stuy conditions that the What, has himself described. I believe this isolates the What. I wasn’t going to address the What directly, then today decided to. The What is very smart. (Rage such as the What has described and disagreement banter are different.)
As you noticed — it has taken me a long wordy way around the bend to get into this — was going to ignore for a long time. Etson, I know my abilities to be adept with a witty, cutting phrase. Those two things together can have a devastating effect. Won’t do any good to anyone here or anywhere.
Sheesh — new-agey? Yuck. I am biting my tongue here, BTW.
Sam, I don’t think anyone was really upset with you for questioning whether or not the kids are actually Jackson’s. Hell, millions of folks had the same question. I think the problem was in your statement of what biracial kids look like and the seeming conclusion that those children don’t fit the physical bill of what biracial kids ‘should’ look like. There are no ‘should’s in what a kid looks like. I would love to show you pics of my best friend’s little boys. You would never know they had a black mother. I think Bxgirl hit the nail on the head with the analogy of discussing the kids “the way the AKC discusses bloodlines.”
sam- A friend of mine has biracial child who could almost be Nordic except his coloring is not quite pale. Does have lovely blonde curly hair though. Had another friend who also had a biracial child- also blond and with blue eyes. – And I know for a fact these are biological children. Considering we are none of us genetically “pure”- nothing is impossible.
Ultimately I don’t it’s as important as whether or not these children are loved- and I’m sure they are. I know you mean well and maybe stated things not so well. But I get very uncomfortable when people get discussed the way the AKC discusses bloodlines.
my innocent comment, an observation really, that Jackson’s kids do not look anything like him or his parents, has upset some and made them call me unpleasant names. Remarkable. If you think the kids do bear some resemblance to the Jackson family that’s fine, we are all entitled to our opinions.
I could be mistaken, we have not seen much of them without veils and masks. Now, I would assume his family will allow people to see the kids and maybe I will change my mind. But the littlest one is an aryan uber-blond. Anyway, I pity kids who grow up under a literal veil of lies. Someone has to love them, respect them, and tell them the truth.
Sorry I missed the last 2 hours.
bklynsofar- I’m not sure how long you’ve been on brownstoner and I agree that DIBS can sometimes be a wee bit inciteful :-). That said, and having myself (along with many others) born the brunt of the What’s rants- usually for no good reason) I am pretty much done with listening to him. Or believing him. In fact, I am a little suspicious of your post ( you sound a little New Agey/ touchy-feely to me) but maybe you are speaking maybe from the heart- and more from lack of experience. DIBS did nothing wrong and the what not only keeps beating a dead horse, he keeps beating the wrong dead horse.
There’s a point at which, despite all reasonableness and logic, someone wants to create a false battle and flay everyone else with it. The What is doing exactly that- I don’t believe for a moment he’s really outraged over dibs’ use of the n-word. He just wants everyone to think so, for several reasons:
1.It’s his persona
2.He hates dave.
3.He’s over invested in his own hype. And once you fall for your own hype, you have problems.
Plenty of us have tried to “talk” to the What, to treat him respectfully, to listen. His idea of listening is for you to accept completely and wholly everything he says.
BklynSoFar,
You sound like a very sweet person but I think you are taking all of the OT banter too much to heart. The conversation does get heated and tiresome sometimes but people get over it quickly in general. Also, I think many (not all) posters can disagree strongly with an particular opinion without it affecting their overall view of the individual with whom they disagree.
Finally, I think that it would get boring if everyone agreed on everything and held their tongue all the time.
You should come to the next Brownstoner poster get-together. I think you would be pleasantly surprised by how well most people get along, although admittedly this is a self-selecting group each time.
>Dibs, nothing to do with you and The What — but about the brain-chemical thing, just look at how Sam’s comment is blown and twisted out of proportion.>
Actually, ENY is way too polite, as usual.
Dibs, wow, this is too much for my brain to figure out, at least I am getting tired. Because of my fatigue, it gets harder for me to try to say things in non-inciting ways.
I noticed your apology to the What last week. Let me try to explain something that happened to me recently: A friend told me I needed to apologize for something I said. I did and asked for forgiveness. She said okay. I felt greatly relieved, until then she made the forgiveness conditional on something else, and then said 4 other things about me she didn’t like. So that took back the whole apology acceptance and made it worse (to me). Because of my own experience, I thought I recognized something like that in your apology to the What.
The apology has to be complete. I am not saying one is ready to apologize, nor make a judgment about an apology being warrented. (Gheesh, I am getting in the middle of things too much.)
I still think incitements are made to the What, when understanding and listening are needed. And incitefully speaking as gently as I can, Dibs, I sense anger from you, too. The What has outright stated he has some problems with anger so that is in the open.
So I am saying let us address the What on what he is saying without name calling. I can tell the What is doing less name-calling, himself.
And about n’s and f’s, perhaps those could be dropped, but the feelings underneath are still there. The What is upset and I wish we’d address that and stop name-calling so we can all get back to whatever we are getting back to. The post I received from you even has name-calling of the What.
I have been called names by both of you before, and perhaps it was deserved.
The What has something to offer and when he leaves the OT two days, the whole open thread is about him and where he is.
And Dibs, the whole class/race warfare thing is way over my head. If we know that as a problem, maybe we can stay away from it.
It is commonly known that the n word incites people. Write one of those and almost everyone on OT is in a dither. Then almost everyone’s brain chemicals go into overdrive. I have read that that rush of many brain chemicals can actually lead to addiction and one does it again.
Dibs, nothing to do with you and The What — but about the brain-chemical thing, just look at how Sam’s comment is blown and twisted out of proportion.
Good-bye for today, dear many-talented Dibs. Except for this, I still think this is not so much about the n word as it is a sense of justice and wanting to be recognized. Who does not want love and recognition?
Well, now I am really tired, so read the above with caution.