Noise Annoys, Rugrat Edition
The most frequent noise complaint real estate lawyer Stuart Saft hears nowadays concerns kids. “Fifteen years ago or so, it used to be that the noise complaints were all about loud stereo and TV equipment,” Saft is quoted as saying in a Times story about the pitter patter of tiny feet driving neighbors crazy. “Now…
The most frequent noise complaint real estate lawyer Stuart Saft hears nowadays concerns kids. “Fifteen years ago or so, it used to be that the noise complaints were all about loud stereo and TV equipment,” Saft is quoted as saying in a Times story about the pitter patter of tiny feet driving neighbors crazy. “Now it’s kid noise more than anything else, and I think it demonstrates the changing demographic of the city. You have more kids living in the apartment buildings, and parents who feel their children have the right to be children.” The story focuses on people like a Slope couple with two kids who try to keep their children from running around before 8 a.m. because their downstairs neighbor finds the tots’ noise “exhausting. Even my boyfriend doesn’t ever want to come over — it’s so horrible.” Another Slope mom says she “probably tried a little too hard” to keep her kids quiet and not upset neighbors when, at the end of the day, “They were not doing anything outrageous. They were just doing normal kid things. But small children, especially toddlers, have this clumsy flatfooted walk. It’s impossible to control.” The article says noise carries in a lot of prewar construction, especially in smaller buildings, and when apartments are renovated or combined, the end result is often the loss of some insulation. Some co-op boards install sound meters in apartments to determine if neighbors’ complaints are warranted, though the most frequent solution appears to also the most time-trusted when it comes to New Yorkers and their tight quarters: Compromise. “We do indeed walk on eggshells, and I find myself on tiptoes if I have high heels on, even when I’m not home,” says another Brooklyn parent.“I’m a trained monkey. But my 19-month-old is not.”
The Noise Children Make [NY Times]
Photo by Joey Harrison.
Carpeting or rugs (thick ones) with appropriate padding underneath (thick) does do a lot to muffle sound – though not completely – it does help a lot. Which is why it is required on 80% of flooring in your standard coop or rental lease.
The problem, as I see it, is a loss of the standards of politeness to others. It used to be the norm to be raised to notice when your behavior disturbed others – which is why these provisions were standard in leases. Now, I think younger parents (and some older ones) were raised to be much more self-indulgent. I know parents whose neighbors complain who refuse to put rugs or carpet and padding on the floors in the rooms the kids’ noise emanates from. Why? Because they like their refinished wood floors. Because they don’t like the fact that the neighbors complain. Because they don’t have rude, noisy neighbors above them who keep them from sleeping, so they refuse to get that it is a problem, or if they do get it, they just don’t care. I just don’t get it. Or perhaps I do – these people I know are self-indulgent and just don’t care. And it isn’t just parents – childless adults who make noise on the floors they refuse to put rugs on also disturb neighbors.
I love kids. I also know they make noise, and that while all of it can’t be stopped from disturbing the neighbors, some of it can be with appropriate measures like floor covering. I don’t get why parents I know feel so put upon when asked by neighbors to help out with noise. Probably because some have little to no control over what their kids do due to their reluctance to teach them appropriate behavior (this has also changed since I was a kid – many parents have less control, don’t teach their kids, and feel like they can’t.) The problem stems largely from rude parents raising rude children, who grow up to be rude adults who disturb their neighbors even if they don’t have children.
10:11 is right! Growing up, we were told that as children we were to be seen and not heard. Kids these days are told nothing! Complaining adults are told that the kids cannot help it, or “They’re kids!” as if somehow that means they can do no wrong.
Well-behaved does not mean deprived of one’s childhood. It simply means respecting others, and may actually better equip the kids for dealing with others well into adulthood.
10:06: for some reason stereos, traffic and sirens are not as annoying as the constant banging and thumping of running children. Probably because the former are more intermittent, whereas kids running (at least in my case) is a neverending hell. I don’t think there is anything wrong with teaching your children that before a certain time of day (say after 9am) they have to use their “inside voices” and “inside walk” and play quietly.
http://www.samueljohnson.com/children.html
I loved the modest proposal.
The article seemed to be on the side of the kids, but there the lameness of the parents still came through — like when the mom told her kids to keep it down, the downstairs woman was sleeping at 8am and the kids were like, why? (and the woman and the writer could almost be seen nodding in agreement).
Hey– 8AM is still early in the morning. It’s New York where the workday starts at 10 and doesn’t end til 8 or 9 or 10 at night. You may think 8 is not early. That’s fine. But then, I have the right to think that 10PM is not late and crank up the stereo.
Signed, have two kids but remember life pre-kids.
10.11 – sounds like you had a great childhood
You should thank god for those pitter pattering feet – for they will be paying for you to sit around on your FAT ass during your 30yr subsidized retirement, (and if you stay in NY) ensure that you actually have some representation in Congress.
Hmmmm….I read that article too. As a baby boomer, I was part of a very large population of children. I grew up living in a four-room apt on the third floor of a two-family b’stone in CG. I was never allowed to do the following: never run up and down the stairs when coming in or leaving the house; never run back and forth in the apartment; never jump up and down on my parents’ furniture or mattresses; never stomp on the grass in the front garden; never pull leaves from plants in the front garden; never swing on the front gate even though it was lots of fun; never run up and down the stoop two steps at a time or jump down from the third step to the bottom of the stoop. I was taught to be considerate of others (esp. the landlord) and respect other people’s property. I turned out just fine. I think the members of the current baby-boomlet are given no boundaries and are being taught nothing except anything goes because you are a child. Unfortunate. I think it’s that mind-set that fuels a lot of anti-children sentiment, but today’s parents just don’t get it.
I live below a couple with two small children and they do sound like little elephants running around in the mornings – but how angry can you get at a 3-year old? My neighbors are otherwise great and make a big effort to get the kids out of the house to the park or out for breakfast soon after they wake up on weekends … and I’ve invested in industrial-strength earplugs. If you want to live in a city this dense, you have to learn to deal with noisiness – kids, stereos, traffic, sirens – if you can’t deal, move to the suburbs!