Brooklyn Brownstones Stay All in the Family
This morning The Observer reports on how many kids who grew up in houses in the Brownstone Belt are, as adults, moving back in with mom and dad. The trend is seen as having a lot to do with brownstone neighborhoods now being hip and yet frequently unaffordable for recent grads who might otherwise make…
This morning The Observer reports on how many kids who grew up in houses in the Brownstone Belt are, as adults, moving back in with mom and dad. The trend is seen as having a lot to do with brownstone neighborhoods now being hip and yet frequently unaffordable for recent grads who might otherwise make a go of it alone:
All the graduates interviewed for this story agreed that living on your own in New York City was possible, especially if you had a well-paying corporate job. But for those who hope to someday own property in the areas where they grew up, or to make a career in a less lucrative field, living with your parents makes a certain kind of sense; you can’t afford not to.
The bigger question, maybe, is how much more prevalent this phenomenon is in brownstone areas (which often have bigger houses than in other parts of the city) than it is in other NYC neighborhoods or even the U.S. as a whole. Could this just be part of a larger cultural shift in which more kids are coming back home post-college, or is it indeed more common in brownstone Brooklyn?
Full Brownstone Nests) [NY Observer]
Photo from Orchard Lake.
And just to clarify, my experience isn’t one of mooching — going back to living with my folks, using their food, using their home. I’m talking about joining forces on a living space. It could be a factory you convert (as my dutch friends and family did years ago, which was partially the inspiration for what we did). I’m talking about already having grown up and deciding to invest your own hard earned money together.
As far as the article, and kids moving back home — I reserve judgement. I don’t know anything about that. I know I could never do it.
….your parents probably also binge drank, smoked pot when not smoking cigarettes and looked down on women who had professional jobs.
….your parents probably moved out at 18 and were married and had kids by 21….and probably lived in an abusive marriage.
…your parents ‘made it’ without moving in with their parents but lets see them ‘make it’ in their old age without you.
Hahaha. now who’s provincial and conservative in their thinking? Look, I was making a point; don’t be get so defensive. It works for some. Not for others. You really do have to have a pretty healthy sense of self — be trully independent, both financially and emotionally — to be able to handle that kind of communal situation, especially if you’re as individualistic as I am (an artist by the way, so pretty close in species to a stripper). If you’ve got any issues about your own sense of identity or goals in life, having people around you who know you too well — including lovers and spouses — can feel claustrophobic. I’ve been through that, and i’m at peace now, I know who I am, so there’s no threat to my autonomy.
And you have to like your family. A lot of people pretend they do but really, they can’t stand them for more than a day or two (and I can usually see why — generational gap is huge in the U.S. for most families, they don’t communicate at all).
Finally, yes, we do live in a world where we have the luxury of separating from our parents at 16. Most people in the world don’t. My question to myself, when this idea of investing in a building together happened, was: “What’s normal?” I mean, is it actually that natural to separate at each generation? Or should we live in clans and tribes, as we always have, as we do in most cutlures? Look at Iceland, one of the most progressive minded, evolved cultures — teens have babies all the time, then go off to do their college degrees and masters on the continent while their parents raise their kids, then they come back and live together.
I don’t know what’s more conservative, family ties or being tied to the American Nuclear Family System.
2:14, 2:56, right on. I left home at age 15-1/2 and never looked back. The great thing when you come from a fucked up family like I did is that there is no question of going back. And when you can’t go back you have no choice but to make it.
Same thing I told my daughter. Here’s a free four year college education, now, get a job, get settled, and GET OUT. Grow up! Sure, she knows if she loses her job she can come home, but she also knows barring an emergency she’s on her own. As every adult should be.
No, I didn’t own anything for a while, but I didn’t believe in having a coop or a house with two dollars left in the bank either.
And whether renting or owning, I always made enuf to live in prime ‘hoods.
But I do recognize it’s harder these days.
My brownstone is open to my kid when he graduates this spring, but it’s up to him if he wants to live there, and I think if things come through the way he is planning, he’ll live somewhere else. I can understand his desire NOT to live with his parents. We did pay for his schooling, and together we will BOTH pay off the debt until he can assume all of it. He worked while he went to school full-time, and he’s already saving. I help him when I can. He’s pretty independent, but if he needs a place to live at any time, he has a home to come to. I will charge him rent, albeit not market rate. Everything can be worked out.
wow, a stripper. your parents must be so proud.
no wonder you can’t seem to get a place on your own.
I think the point being missed by many, and well spoken by 2:56, is that while 2 or 3 generations, or some kind of extended family, live together in the same house, EVERYONE is working, and contributing to the common good. We’re not talking about twenty-somethings living in the basement, unemployed, sponging off of Mom and Dad. In the old days, that would not be tolerated. Everyone worked in some capacity, and everyone shared in the upkeep and betterment of the entire home and family. That can still work today. While I know they have problems like everyone else, I kind of envy large families that stick together and have multigenerational close knit ties. Family is still the most important social group anywhere in the world.
I’m an atheist and a stripper. Never say never.
3:12. Those things are not mutually exclusive. One can still totally love and appreciate their family without living with them.
You are extremely provincial and conservative in your thinking.
It’s a little scary, to be honest.
Are you Amish?