First Time Homeowner Anxiety
Hi, I just bought my first home and while I expected to experience some anxiety over being a homeowner, I find myself really, really worried: will I be happy there, will I be working just to pour money into the place, will I ever be able to take a vacation again, will I do something…
Hi, I just bought my first home and while I expected to experience some anxiety over being a homeowner, I find myself really, really worried: will I be happy there, will I be working just to pour money into the place, will I ever be able to take a vacation again, will I do something wrong or not do something I am supposed to do that will cause an issue with the heating or electrical? I am really overwhelmed and would love to hear how other managed the stress–even alleviated it a little. Are the strategies for maintaining your sanity and your home?
benson, i might agree with you if the question was “should I buy now or not” but this person has bought already so why not try to give them some encouragement and perspective. I went through a lot of similar thoughts when I bought this fall and I think that my experience is valid for them. I do agree that practical advice is more valuable for them than general encouragement and cheerleading but really if they have already taken the plunge we should be trying to help them I think.
Bob and all;
Perhaps I’m the scrooge in the group, but…
…..I wonder if all the encouragement in this thread is well-advised. To me, it smacks of the advice being given out by mortgage brokers a couple of years ago: “You can’t lose in real estate”…”Don’t worry about the payments right now…”.
None of us know this person’s financial situation nor their budgeting discipline, except that he or she is anxious enough about it to solicit advice on an anonymous forum. Perhaps it’s just natural nervousness at being a first-time buyer (which I also went through), or perhaps the person is really in over their head, and, absent a course correction, is headed for a dreary existence. Who knows?
Given the lack of specifics, is it really prudent for folks to tell them that everything will be alright? I think not. Wouldn’t it be better to give them some normal financial “rules of the road”?? If they have followed these guidelines, then they will indeed be alright. Otherwise, they might be headed for an existence they didn’t bargain for.
In sum, what is the point of pitching the benefits of home ownership to someone when we know nothing about their financial situation, discipline and values? Seems to me that this is exactly how we wound up in our current economic debacle.
When I was a kid, whenever I worried about a purchase my mother would say “don’t worry,it’s not a house and lot”. Years later, when we signed the contract for our house, I woke up one night, in a cold sweat, realizing that this WAS a “house and lot”. My telling you to relax will not do a bit of good, but it WILL work out.In a few months you’ll find it hard imagining not living in your own place.
If home prices were still rising, you’d have a lot less to worry about. We have consoled ourselves in our current home by knowing that our 40% dp was mostly made through the obscene profits from selling our previous place, so that if we need to sell and lose money, well, we never actually had it in the first place, and if we’d put it into equities we’d already be down 40%. Perhaps you’re in a similar situation.
Other than that I would say to make a really strict budget for the next year and stick to it, and don’t skimp on things like plumbing and electrical work at the expense of decorating…
Excellent post, Brenda–QOTD!!
Brenda, that was poetry, seriously.
We were totally overwhelmed and insane the first 6 months in our limestone. It’s a big lifestyle adjustment and on top of it the worst issues happen in the first year because that’s when you discover all there is to know about the old beast. Just get through the first year: keep reminding yourself it gets better and hang a list on your fridge of all the things that annoyed you about your coop or rental apt.
Dittoburg;
Point taken! 25% of gross.
In the identical boat as you, cantaffordcarroll, same neighborhood too. Are there enough people in our shoes for a support group?!
benson – no wish to quibble with your advice but a pet peeve of mine is when people state such a precise figure (25% of income) but then do not refer to whether that is 25% of gross or of net. Which, of course, will change the whole thing entirely.