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  1. Eww. Did you hear that a woman was stabbed in the head w/ a pencil this a.m. on the #3 (downtown, 7th Av. IRT) train? She’d bitched at a guy who was smoking. I figure anyone who’s whacked enough to smoke on the subway is best left alone.

  2. Yo momma’s so old her birth certificate is expired
    Yo momma’s so old Jurassic Park brought back memories
    Yo momma’s so old her social security number is 1
    Yo momma’s so old she took her drivers test on a dinosaur

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