Open Thread

DH, depends on whether the landlord is gangsta or not. One of my buddy’s parents rent out their basement to someone and that dude told them no rent cause it’s illegal and would report them if pressed. that dude came home one night to see all his shit laid out on the sidewalk. when he knocked on the door to confront the elderly landlords, he encountered the landlords’ kids (my buddy and his 2 brothers) who told him “know who the fuck you’re messing with. chances are you’re a little dick who’ll encounter frequently bigger dicks who’ll fuck you over. Guess what, you’re looking at the bigger dicks right here.” I use often variants of this bigger dick line now – very useful.

I lost mine in a tobacco field.

haha bx!

FUNNY – FROM THE ONION

Marauding Gay Hordes Drag Thousands Of Helpless Citizens From Marriages After Obama Drops Defense Of Marriage ActFebruary 25, 2011 | ISSUE 47•08

09.19.08 WASHINGTON—Reports continue to pour in from around the nation today of helpless Americans being forcibly taken from their marital unions after President Obama dropped the Defense of Marriage Act earlier this week, leaving the institution completely vulnerable to roving bands of homosexuals. “It was just awful—they smashed through our living room window, one of them said ‘I’ve had my eye on you, Roger,’ and then they dragged my husband off kicking and screaming,” said Cleveland-area homemaker Rita Ellington, one of the latest victims whose defenseless marriage was overrun by the hordes of battle-ready gays that had been clambering at the gates of matrimony since the DOMA went into effect in 1996. “Oh dear God, why did they remove the protection provided by this vital piece of legislation? My children! What will I tell my children?” A video communique was sent to the media late yesterday from what appears to be the as-yet unidentified leader of the gay marauders, who, adorned in terrifying warpaint, announced “Richard Dickson of Ames, Iowa. We’re coming for you next. Put on something nice.”