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  1. Arkady, rub yourself all over with the suet and you’ll slip right out of that cat door.

    To be extra frugal, when you get out you can grease all your baking pans.

  2. Yes, Legion, they have bakeries but they are all out of their stone ground organic whole wheat flour and artisanal water and of course the sea salt. Plus Gem is out there on the way to Greenwood Cemetary, kinda far from Park Slope central. And she has no boots!

  3. Calling 911…

    911: “what is the nature of your emergency?

    Arkady: “I’m stuck in my cat door.”

    911: “You’re stuck in your car door???”

    Arkady: “NO, my cat door.”

    911: [giggles in the background] “”Spray yourself with the water bottle and maybe you’ll run out”

  4. rf,

    It’s Park Slope for goodness sakes!
    Every yutz with ears has a bakery or artisanal
    bread shop going.

    dibs,
    …sounds like you need some Dynamic Stability Control.

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