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  1. Yes, Legion, they have bakeries but they are all out of their stone ground organic whole wheat flour and artisanal water and of course the sea salt. Plus Gem is out there on the way to Greenwood Cemetary, kinda far from Park Slope central. And she has no boots!

  2. Calling 911…

    911: “what is the nature of your emergency?

    Arkady: “I’m stuck in my cat door.”

    911: “You’re stuck in your car door???”

    Arkady: “NO, my cat door.”

    911: [giggles in the background] “”Spray yourself with the water bottle and maybe you’ll run out”

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