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  1. “bedbugs are a 6 on the *rob* scale”

    Legion, no. Perhaps if you’d bloviate less and spend less time fussing with your hair, you’d know that:

    A. peacocks are a 10 on the *rob* scale; and

    II. bedbugs break the *rob* scale.

  2. Rob, if you’ve encountered a ton of bulbs burning out prematurely, one possible cause is you’re probably using bulbs with higher wattage than recommended – ie for whatever reason, 100W bulbs seem to go out faster than when I used the recommended ones at 40W or 60W

  3. Speaking of Texas and racists, I spent a lot of time in Houston back when I was in the int’l marine biz. Had an apt there and spent two weeks a month there, until da kid was born and I decided it was time to get a more local line of work.

    One of the fun things about being white is the way white people make certain assumptions about what you think, even when you’re a New Yorker in Texas.

    So we hired this local sales guy, and he’s always ni—r this, ni—r that, making the same jokes about Mexicans and greasing your wheels, and I just sit back biding my time.

    One day we’re driving down the road and he asks me what church I attend. So I told him I don’t attend church. He wanted to know why, and I said one of the reasons is that I could count the number of truly religious people I had met on the fingers of one hand and still have a couple left.

    He got all excited and yells out, WELL YOU CAN JUST ADD ANOTHER FINGER TO THAT HAND, BUD!.

    So I start laughing. I’m laughing so hard I start crying. He gets this really pained look on his face and asks me why I am laughing. I said, how many times did you say ni—r in the last hour, before you asked me about church, boy?

  4. ” ill have the super come in and check it today, of course he’s gonna see silver spray paint around the light switch in my bedroom ”

    Will he be chary? Are you chary of this? Should we be chary of discussing it?

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