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  1. I’m going to watch the Red Sox play the Royals tomorrow with my 3 year old son. Gonna be awesome.

    Number of times I have been to Kaufmann Stadium in Kansas City = 3.

    Number of times I have been to Yankee Stadium (old or new) in the Bronx = 0.

    Number of pounds per vertical foot of the average midwestern male = 50.

    Number of pounds per vertical foot of the average midwestern female = 65.

    Number of times I have silently screamed “fuck you you fucking fuck!!! just fucking drive!!! Is this some kind of fucking who can be slower contest!!!” inside of my head in the past week = at least 100.

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