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  1. He’s trying to climb through the mail slot now.

    Snappy, as soon as one of my carrier pigeons gets back I’ll go up on the roof strap him to one of their legs and he’ll be back in a flash.

  2. “chicken, to be frank I think you only 63% get it.”

    I just ate a frank (100% of it) and a potato knish from a street vendor. Please check on me in 20 minutes for vital signs. If any such signs are present, that would be a first.

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