Onion: Gentrification Being Trumped by Artistocratization
Given all the outpouring of nostalgia last week for the good old days of more crime and fewer flea markets, this excerpt from a recent Onion article titled Nation’s Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization provided some much needed comic relief: Many of those affected by the ostentatious reshaping of their once purely upmarket neighborhoods said…
Given all the outpouring of nostalgia last week for the good old days of more crime and fewer flea markets, this excerpt from a recent Onion article titled Nation’s Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization provided some much needed comic relief:
Many of those affected by the ostentatious reshaping of their once purely upmarket neighborhoods said that they often wish for a return back to the privileged communities they helped to overdevelop just a few years ago. Among the first to feel the effects of the encroaching aristocracy have been local business owners like Fort Greene, Brooklyn resident Neil Getz.
“Around here, you used to be able to get a Fair-Trade latte and a chocolate-chip croissant for only eight bucks,” said Getz, who is planning to move back in with his parents after being forced out of the lease on his organic grocery store by a harpsichord purveyor. “Now it’s all tearooms and private salon gatherings catered with champagne and suckling pig. Who can afford that?”
“It’s just a terrible shame,” Getz continued. “There was this great little shop right across the street from my duplex apartment where I bought my baby daughter a Ramones onesie a couple of years ago, just after she was born. That whole block is an opera house now.”
Just as long as the aristos don’t tie their horse-drawn carriages up to the castle scaffolding, everything should be okay.
Nation’s Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization [Onion]
How are your legs, 11233? 🙂
It’s ok Zohan…I got your back! There is nothing wrong with Staten Island and I myself will vouch for that. I’m moving there soon and it feels amazing to finally be a homeowner.
Oh goodness- sorry. I am so used to that line on this blog that I thought you were serious. I became my own worst nightmare. Thanks for the wake-up call. Live is so good that way.
Anyway- not sure I agree about crime since there clearly are so many people in mid-town that are not residents. I think that I could argue my point for residential areas.
Kisses to you.
Sorry if you didn’t pick up the sarcasm in my post, after all we are talking about a piece in the Onion (for god’s sake!) 😉
Kisses
PS Crime has decreased citywide. Not just in Brownstoner Ville. Increasing property values don’t decrease crime rates if this were the case Midtown Manhattan would be crime free.
daveinbedstuy,
Why would I buy an ad for the house I live in. Now that would be a waste of money. I’m just trying to show my great borough some love. I don’t know why I’m getting attacked.
And Staten Island is well protected by those folks on the hill.
Zohan12…just buy an ad here on brownstoner and hype your SI properties legitimately!!!
Great…when you thought it couldn’t get any worse in Brooklyn with overly high priced housing, the aristocrats have to push their way in and make it worse.
This only reinforces the fact that moving to Staten Island is the most logical answer for the residents of Brooklyn.
Instead of throwing away your money renting a small apartment in BK, you can own your own property for three times the size, which is one of the best investments a person can make. To throw in the trump card, residents have their own parking space, safer surroundings and good public schools to say the least.
Forget all the uptight aristocrats that are invading your neighborhoods with their million dollar CASTLES, and come relax at my humble abode across the bridge on my nice peaceful island. Now tell me that doesn’t sound tempting.
Advice of the Day: You only live once; but if you do it right, once is enough.
BTW- neighborhoods are safer because people renovate houses, raise property values and insist on better schools. Are you debating that?