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Longtime New York Press columnist Jim Knipfel has a new rant about Park Slope stroller culture that sets the bar high for future diatribes on the subject. This is how it begins:

This morning as I was leaving the bank, a woman recklessly pushing her armor-plated double stroller down the sidewalk veered sharply and unexpectedly into an elderly man walking with a cane. He, in turn, fell into me. I was able to catch him and hold him upright and he seemed to be okay. Just a little flustered. The woman, of course, had said nothing, apparently considering an apology or even a simple excuse me unnecessary under the circumstances. She was a mother after all, and therefore privileged, so she simply continued careening on her way.

Knipfel says that the number of strollers in the Slope, as well as the neighborhood’s dog breed preferences (it’s really mostly the strollers, though) mean he can only leave his apartment for more than 10 or 15 minutes at a time, because he finds the situation out on the streets too harrowing and exhausting. The writer says that for the past year he’s been counting the number of strollers he sees in the Slope (“I’m averaging 1.45 strollers per block. Think about it—there has been at least one stroller, and usually more, for every block I’ve walked. It’s insanity.“) Knipfel takes issue with the air of entitlement that he sees a lot of the neighborhood’s parents displaying and notes that he sees a good number of kids being pushed around who look too old for strollers. Also, he says, it’s not a subject that can be broached in polite, public Slope discourse: “The child-free adults in the neighborhood mutter and complain about the problem, but only behind closed doors, and usually in whispers. They don’t dare say a negative word when they’re outside, for the simple reason that they’re terrified, most of them. Indulgent, affluent parents are too powerful a lobby (and what’s more, those strollers can really hurt when you get rammed).”
The Statistics of Contempt [Slackjaw]
Photo from dailyheights.com


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  1. No, what’s appalling is that you people would make light of the callousness and insensitivity of the guy who referred to children as “crotch-fruit”.

    My child is a precious, unique snowflake, and to refer to him as “crotch-fruit” is unacceptably mean-spirited. Sure, he’s 3 months old, already in therapy and on anti-depressants and ADD meds, but that’s not his fault! It’s called “preventative pharmacology”!!

    And just because he’s already got the same sense of yuppie scumbag entitlement as his parents have (acquired in utero, via the umbelical cord ), doesn’t mean you should call him mean names! With all of you putting him down like that, how is he supposed to have the self-confidence he needs to ace his Claremont entrance interview next month??

  2. You people are disgusting and despicable. Next time I’m out and about with my Hummer triplet stroller in Park Slope and I see ANYONE walking the streets without children, I’m going to run their a$$ down. Oh, and turn down that music, my crotch fruit is trying to sleep!

  3. Okay, so I was at Flatbush Farm. I sat down with 6 other people to have dinner. Two friends got up to wash their hands and I had a view of something I was not prepared to see: A woman, close to 250 pounds, pulled out her boob and began nursing her baby at the table across from us. Milk squirted out. I decided not to get the goat cheese apps. In fact I felt so sick I didnt want to eat at all. She completely ruined our meal. And it was a birthday dinner. Please, keep it at home. Thanks. Love the comment of 4:42,.

  4. To 4:42 guest commenter:

    Your comment was appalling and reprehensible. That’d be such a waste of delicious crotch-fruit! Like when Kramer lost his sense of taste right when the Mackinaw peaches were in season.

    I know it’s very un-PC to be so anti-locavore, but I might go down to Whole Foods and get some crotch-fruit to put in the spinach salad I’m making for dinner. So tart, and perfect with a nice riesling or sauternes!

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