Tis a melancholy exercise to those who walk through the streets of this fine metropolis and witness the overcrowded state of our roads littered with strollers. The prodigious number of children wheeled hitherto and hiterhfore in every sort of contraption that the imagination of man can invent results in the present deplorable state of the region of Brooklyn referred to as "Park Slope." I believe it is agreed by all parties that the inconvience and discomfort caused by these petty tyrants, some innocently refer to as "children", exceeds the tolerance level of the borough's most patient gentlemen and women.

I offer a modest proposal to provide for them in such a manner as instead of being a charge upon their parents or the parish, or causing the lives of their neighbors and good countrymen a despicable state, they shall on the contrary be rendered silent. By affixing a mask on the face of these tyrants, a mask not unlike those preferred by that position of "goalie" in the barbaric sport of "ice hockey", the tyrants may wail to their hearts content but their incessant feral cries shall be rendered muffled if not silenced. A fine of no less than 10,000 American dollars shall be imposed upon the wenches who permit their infants to terrorize the streets of this fine metropolis without donning my proposed "baby muffler."

Posted by: Heretofore at July 7, 2008 9:27 AM in response to Noise Annoys, Rugrat Edition

Kudos to this gentleman with the bleach. I also often have to defend my person and property against the rabble of this metropolis.

Posted by: Heretofore at July 6, 2008 3:30 PM in response to Neighbor thinks he owns the sidewalk