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February 9, 2009
Is Buyer's Remorse Normal?
I just moved into my first house. Is it normal to feel remorse when you move in and realize all the little things that need fixing and pop up are actually really hard on you? I just can't picture a day when this will feel like home. Any words of advice or stories shared would help.
Comments
Sounds normal to me.....Everything is hard, the first time. Find yourself a good handyperson, if you can't do the work yourself....and before long all these details will feel like no big deal.
Posted by: bricktop at February 7, 2009 3:48 PM
Yes, this is normal. I lived through a semi-gut. Just make a list and slowly fix stuff, If you can get one room completely in order, do so. Unpack your books or music. the less you have in boxes the more it feels like home.
(That said it never ends! Smile)
Posted by: Putnamdenizen at February 7, 2009 3:56 PM
Very normal, in fact, check the archives on the forum, this exact same question was posted recently with many reassuring answers.
Congratulations on your new home!
Posted by: Schultz at February 7, 2009 5:43 PM
Put together a little tool box start with the basics; a measuring tape, hammer, both flat head and phillip screw drivers, utility knfe, a pair of channel locks and vise grips.
With those 7 items and the friendly advice and opinions you can get here on these forums, you could probably do (or learn to do!) most repairs yourself.
Cheers to you and your new home!
Posted by: NYCBuilder at February 7, 2009 6:02 PM
Every poster has given you good advice. Take things slow. You don't need to repair everything all at once. You'll be in the house for years. Prioritize and make a distinction between things that have to be done and that you'd like to have done.
Posted by: Boerum Hill at February 8, 2009 10:44 AM
Very, very normal.
Bought a house on the low end of my price range that needed work. After 18 months of living in a construction site I'm glad I did. Now my home's MY home. The thing that struck me is as the process went along I encountered problems that I knew at the time, without doubt, could never be fixed. Yet to the right professional they're all in a day's work. The late night panic was almost always unnecessary. Live and learn.
And Brownstoner's a great resource for finding the right professionals.
Congratulations!
Posted by: Johnny at February 8, 2009 1:50 PM
I went though this two months ago. With a lot of things need to be fixed it is important to prioritize them correctly.
Posted by: bobjohn at February 8, 2009 8:59 PM
Yep, normal.
Don't worry - those little things will get fixed over time if they are important to you. And some things won't get fixed as you realize you really don't care that much. Give it a few months.
Posted by: Mrs. Limestone at February 9, 2009 8:38 AM
In a word.. YES!! You close the door and u think what the heck did I just do.. or once the seller has moved out all of their furniture and lovely accents u think.. is this it!! lol.. It will pass and u will grow to love the place all over again.
Posted by: scarter at February 9, 2009 10:12 AM
When I first started looking at this blog, I remember early on someone mentioning that if one searches "buyer's remorse" they will get multiple hits. What you're feeling is completely normal. I went to see literally 100 or so properties in Manhattan and Brooklyn before purchasing my current home and I still wondered after closing if I did the right thing. I just remind myself how many places I went to and how few I made an offer on and the positive feelings I had when first seeing it. I'm sure every buyer finds things requiring fixing that he/she didn't initially notice or anticipate - it's just the way it is. You'll get through it and hopefully will consider it your home very soon. Congratulations.
Posted by: Biff Champion at February 9, 2009 10:16 AM
I don't know if I would call it remorse, but I was expecting some degree of extra happiness when I got my place, which has eluded me. It's funny ... I put so much time, effort, and $$$ into getting my place, but the only time I have a sense of abstract satisfaction about it is when I sit in my backyard and watch the birds and stray cats.
The other way I feel good about it is when I use the house for personally enriching activities--having friends and family over, cooking, making music, and even completing (myself) some of the home improvements that initially seem like headaches. Without utilizing your house in a communal or creative way, it's just another material possession that has little bearing on your spiritual enrichment or happiness. (P.S. I'm pretty much an atheist.) Anyhow, that's probably not exactly what your feeling or talking about, but it may relate...
Posted by: hoffster at February 9, 2009 10:28 AM
Normal
Posted by: troll at February 9, 2009 10:33 AM
i'm fortunate that i can do most of the repairs on my townhouse. still, when i walk up the stoop and enter the building, i'm still, after 2 years, awed that this thing is mine and still intimidated by the obligations to my tenants and my family.
come spring when the trees in the backyard start blooming and the weather is condusive to sitting on the deck, i feel different and very much like the pioneer who looks over his lands and appreciates the rewards of the hard work he/she has endeavored to do.
Posted by: ez at February 9, 2009 11:49 AM
I bought a house and decided to knock it down and rebuild it...that sucks...
Posted by: nybk01 at February 9, 2009 12:16 PM
Very normal. It take time to make it yours. I found that I felt a bit better with each area of the house we "settled" -- that is, got the room to the point at which we could enjoy being in the room without distraction by the undone items in the room. So I would prioritize structure over cosmetics, and heavy use rooms over out of teh way corners, and prioritize anything that affects your day to day living -- water, heat, electricity, kitchen functions, etc. I sometimes take the better part of the day and do one area that I know I can finish that day and that I will truly notice the change and feel mroe settled for ahving done it. Examples -- recently I did touch up grouting, caulking and paint in the bathroom, and now I don't have to walk in there only to be reminded that I need to work on the bathroom.
Also, start having people over. They will tell you how great your house is. They won't see all the little things you see. Take pleasure in the pleasure others take in your house.
And, if you are at all stymied by a problem, post it here. You will get good collective wisdom.
Posted by: slopefarm at February 9, 2009 1:15 PM
Yes, we had such a hard time the first several months in our house. Did you just buy recently? I blame Winter. Winter doesn't help one's mood, renovations logistics or new-house situation in any way. We closed in Winter. Once Spring arrived and I started gardening (and renovations were finishing up) I enjoyed our house so much more. Losing a garden would always keep me from returning to condo/apt living even it that started seeming more convenient or economical. As Hoffster said above when he's truly happy is when he's sitting in his backyard watching the birds.
Posted by: traditionalmod at February 9, 2009 1:58 PM
It's normal if you find out that you don't really like what you bought. Buyer's remorse seldom goes away. It is an indication that you did not stretch enough to buy the absolute best home you could have. As soon as you can, sell it and buy something that on the first night, you say: oh my God, I'm so lucky to be here!
Posted by: sam at February 9, 2009 7:52 PM
When I bought my brownstone seemed like every week something was broken, then when I came home from vacation a day earlier my watermanin broke and I had Niagra Falls in my basement. If I didn't get home that day earlier my house would of been under water. It does suck in the beginning but little by little you fix things and before you know it you have made the place yours. Thats a great feeling, so chin up and welcome to the world of home ownership.
Posted by: harrythehat at February 10, 2009 7:53 AM
If you don't freak out when faced with the renovation and/or upkeep of a brownstone there's probably something wrong with you. Our house took 2 years to renovate and every year since we've undertaken pretty major projects. On the other hand, I've always lived in pre-1900 buildings and grew up in an Elizabethan cottage in the UK built without foundations. I was well into adulthood before I understood that some houses have level floors and staircases don't have to lean out of true. Painting and decorating make a huge difference in making a house feel like a real home and they needn't be too expensive. You'll turn the corner soon enough, don't worry!
Posted by: 1929 at February 10, 2009 6:49 PM
"Buyer's remorse seldom goes away. It is an indication that you did not stretch enough to buy the absolute best home you could have."
Wow, snooty much?
That's not my experience nor anybody I know. These are 100 year old houses most of which through most of Brooklyn were neglected for decades. Even the renovated houses still have some issues or things to do. Every sane (and financially responsible) person will be a little worried about what they got into buying a brownstone.
Posted by: traditionalmod at February 10, 2009 7:53 PM
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