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October 7, 2007
Brownstone Pride
We have been insulted. Our posts have been ridiculed. But we are here, queer and proud to be a part of Brownstone Brooklyn. At the suggestion of other gay and lesbian posters and other gay men and women I have met in Brooklyn, I am starting a new thread to put out the idea of a gay and lesbian meet and greet in a park or other public place to bring together gay Brownstoners in an informal and fun atmosphere. Many of us have been defending each other from bigoted posts on this site. Let's celebrate our place in our neighborhoods. Any suggestions?
Comments
Hey, your idea sounds great! Maybe we should start our own gay-brownstoner.com .. I’d love to get to know other gay brownstone owners and share experiences, I am more likely to want to do it online, but could maybe be talked into a regular meeting. Anyway keep me posted, I love the idea!
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 7:48 AM
??you have been insulted??ridiculed??
i've never seen a post like that. true there is
intra-neighborhoodcide posts, and lots of border skirmishes, but i really don't understand why you feel the need to segregate yourselves. i'm all for gay rights, but give me a break with the "defending each other from bigoted posts" statement please.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 8:15 AM
definately taken back by this post..if anything I would have thought I was the minority being straight on this board.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 9:03 AM
I really haven’t found anything discriminatory here either but I still think it’s a good idea since there are things gay homeowners go through that straight ones may not; like when dealing with contractors and they say stuff like “check with your wife and see what you decide” and its awkward sometimes correcting them saying: “well, actually I have a husband, not a wife” Sharing experiences like that would be useful for me, but like I said I haven’t seen any bigoted posts
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 9:20 AM
Borrowing from your idea O.P., I too as a straight guy wish to start an all straight Brownstoner meet and greet.
For those of you who feel insulted and ridiculed - Please provide evidence to this fact. I for one would love to see how an "All Straight" thread and meeting would go over in your mind OP...Not too good I bet.
Do you really need to segregate yourself to feel validated? I mean really, whats next? All black brownstoner forum, all working class brownstoner, all brown haired-under forty-asian/jewish mixed brownstoners...
Posted by: newsouthsloper at October 8, 2007 9:36 AM
I'm not gay, but I completely understand where OP is coming from as I've seen a few bigoted posts on this board (the main one that comes to mind was in relation to a question someone had about gay bars). This isn't about a group segregating itself, it's about people who might otherwise feel alienated coming together to share their experiences. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 9:51 AM
Dont totally disagree 9:51 - But I just am tired of the double standard. I am white, stright and lived in park slope and south slope for the last 7 years. I would love to compare how many times white Park Slopers are bashed on this site compared to gays. I bet the statistics would be staggering.
Now, what do you people think of the All Straight Park Slope meeting I am proposing? I mean lets get together people and overcome all the adversity and negativity on this site towards us - Who's with me?
Posted by: newsouthsloper at October 8, 2007 10:07 AM
Yeah, I second, third and fourth the impression of imaginary discrimination. We live in a most open, least discriminatory area of the most open, least discriminatory city of the least discriminatory country/society/nation in history. Must pseudo-victimhood be injected into EVERYTHING?
Posted by: BrooklynCouch at October 8, 2007 10:31 AM
PS: I am a very straight male who has been discriminated against because I am big into design, architecture and aesthetics, and am assumed to be gay...lets meet in a sports bar (which isn't really in line with my gay-ish tastes, but...)
Posted by: BrooklynCouch at October 8, 2007 10:34 AM
I think you guys are all missing the point. If the OP feels like he encountered bigoted posts, the way to deal with him is not to tell him he is wrong and then to go on and talk about your own perceived feelings of discrimination. If someone feels excluded the thing to do is include them and make them feel like they do belong; talking about irrelevant issues that straight white men go through isn't exactly helpful. I say that we should encourage more open gay postings and see how that goes.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 10:43 AM
uh...and one's sexual orientation is related to this web site exactly how...?
Posted by: BrooklynCouch at October 8, 2007 10:46 AM
OP--count me in.
And to the posters who say there are no homophobic posts - give it up and read back through old threads.
OP is merely suggesting that it might be nice for the gays o nthe board to get together? How is this any different than new mothers/fathers wanting to get together for play dates or like minded trade people forming a networking group to pass on referrals?
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 11:00 AM
I've never seen a gay-bashing thread on this board, ever. I am offended that you think this blog is accepting of that, or intolerant of gay and lesbians. I think it's just the opposite.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 11:13 AM
11:00AM, it probably would not be, but for the first three sentences of his/her post.
Posted by: BrooklynCouch at October 8, 2007 11:13 AM
also, the use of "our," as if the poster is spokesperson...
Posted by: BrooklynCouch at October 8, 2007 11:18 AM
Hmmm, 10:43 and 11:00 - I really dont mean to sound like a dick, really I dont. And I guess I really dont have a problem with wanting to get together with "like Minded" people either.
I guess the problem I have is:
1. I really dont see a perponderance of evidence supporting homophobia being expressed on this site (perhaps if you point me toward soem past threads where it is prevelant...)
2. This site is about brownstone Brooklyn (Or supposed to be) why does it need to become a forum where race, sexual preference, socio-economics, etc., becomes the overridding factor?
My point of view is simply that there is a clear double standard in OP's suggestion,and If I, as a straight white person, attempted to set up a meeting or forum of "Like Minded" people there would be hell to pay and the OP would likely be the first in line scream discrimination and bigotry!
Thats basically it, I know I sound like a dick, but please try to understand - I think this is not the appropriate forum to be promoting gay pride rallys.
Let the attacks (On me) begin...
Posted by: newsouthsloper at October 8, 2007 11:19 AM
"And to the posters who say there are no homophobic posts - give it up and read back through old threads."
if these are so easy to find, why don't you post some links?
not saying i don't believe you, but i can't remember any, and i think the burden of proof should be on the accusers.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 11:21 AM
hey newsouthsloper...
are you allowed to get married in new york city if you find a girl you like?
would you feel comfortable holding your girlfriend's hand in east new york?
then, no, you are not discrimated against in the most basic of ways.
feel free to set up your straight only meeting. sounds like a ball.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 12:03 PM
This blog is all about bias, and brownstoner is the epitome of it all. i'm not surprised by OP's comments
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 12:07 PM
I'm gay and whenever I hear the phrase, "we are here, we are queer" I feel uncomfortable.
It's silly. I could understand saying it whilst bursting through the White House doors, but not to a forum and community FILLED with open homosexual and heterosexual people.
That gay bar thread was the only bigoted one I recall and it was most likley the work of some 50 year old closeted troll (Maria if I remember correctly...)
With that said, this is America and it's no more silly to form a group of parents, a group of auto workers, a group of those afflicted with breast cancer or a group of individuals looking to get over alcoholism.
To suggest that forming such a group is ridiculous means you probably have some homosexual issues, yourself.
I just have a problem with the way it's being presented.
WE'RE HERE, WE'RE QUEER.
Yuck.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 12:17 PM
I've seen the gay bashing posts on Forum. They exist. But they were very obviously posted by one particular person who was going around insulting everyone who does as much as change a doorknob to improve their home. This person was targeting the OP on a few different threads. But there was nothing at all that has ever indicated a general attitude of the entire community here.
In fact, I saw in response to the anti-gay posts, other people on Forum jump in to defend the OP, the gay person being attacked. Which is certainly worth mentioning, OP.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 12:45 PM
Oh, please. I'm an out/proud deviant, myself, and I cringed at the strident, victim-y tone the OP strikes in this post--a guaranteed way to bring on the flamers (no pun intended) for no reason. Which is probably the reason OP went there--looking to stir up a ruckus. You are Homo, Hear you Roar! Jesus, girl--have a cocktail and a Xanax.
The people who live in brownstone Brooklyn are among the more progressive and educated on the planet--I've been shocked at the LACK of gay bashing on the threads that bring up the subject.
Posted by: Rehab at October 8, 2007 12:48 PM
The OP is either trolling to piss people off (successfully), or is using Brownstoner inappropriately to talk gay liberation. Don't trivialize that struggle by turning it into a pissing match in the wrong forum, OP--there are plenty of places for that, OP. This site is about real estate. The only relevance to us folks on this site being gay is the rather obvious fact that we are often pioneers who revitalize and and bring immaculate landscaping to scary neighborhoods. :)
Posted by: Rehab at October 8, 2007 12:56 PM
yeah, don't include me in "we"
i could never feel insulted on an anonymous blog.
i could perhaps feel insulted in person...although it takes a lot....
feeling insulted by a bunch of people you don't know over the internet sounds SO helpless and needy.
any "real men" around here want a date?
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 1:08 PM
Again, Brownstoner = Forum for Brooklyn Development and Restoration. Not a Forum for voicing discrimination concerns or a groups agenda.
Nothing wrong with OP wanting to have a all gay neighborhood meeting, but using the lame excuse that this blog is anti gay and they need to do something to counter it is ridiculous.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 1:23 PM
I can understand the concerns stated with how to deal with contractors, etc, being relevant for certain groups. I am a single woman who owns a house. Safety issues of being along with strangers in the house while showing an apartment for rent or having someone in to make repairs. I am also concerned that contractors might try to take advantage of me on pricing or work needed due to my gender.
The best approach I've used is to prepare for the situation by educated myself and taking appropriate precautions. Alot of great advice has come from this blog - and have found that suprisingly there are other single women homeowners on here too with similar issues.
To the OP, I think you do have a community here. Not everyone is the same. There's always some jerky posts, but mostly I've gotten good advice and found out who else is out there like me.
BTW - the only time I feel I've been marginalized was by my real estate attorney who told me in the middle of the purchasing process "I admire your courage for doing this alone without a husband" and the lawyer was female. That was not purposeful on her part, but kind of stung - just surprising to see how she saw me - husbandless and brave in spite of it ;-)
Posted by: 1910 at October 8, 2007 2:32 PM
So basically, 2:32...you just likened being a woman to being a gay man?
Ok ok. Now I get it.
;-)
Helpless is helpless. The OP sounds like a victim. Victims come in all races, genders and sexual orientations. That's the only thing I see out of whack here.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 2:39 PM
being gay is nothing to be proud of i would keep that to myself what next being a pedofile and proud of it. When you were born the doctor should of slapped your father.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 2:45 PM
"We have been insulted. Our posts have been ridiculed..."
LOL. I started reading this and figured it was another rant by The What.
Agreed with Rehab, tho. "We're victims. We're victims" is maybe not the most triumphant way to start a picnic...
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 2:53 PM
2:45: But illiteracy IS a source of pride?
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 2:56 PM
I do NOT feel that Brownstoner.com is anti-gay. There have been anti-gay posts and one in particular used a bigoted slur relating to gays that was removed by the web master. These were written by posters. But the thread regarding a get-together is an attempt to emulate other groups in Brooklyn who meet to discuss some aspect of their lives they have in common. Parents do this. Jewish singles do this. To the straight people who posted about how open they feel Brooklyn is to gays and lesbians, you have not experienced life as a gay or lesbian person, so how can you really be so sure bigotry does not exist? I am not saying I feel in physical danger here or that there are vast groups of bigots roving the streets. I only thought it would be nice for some gay men and women (so inclined to be social), to meet and talk about their shared experiences within a social context that has no set definition. I am not acting as a spokesperson for all gays. That is a most unattractive thought. I learned a great deal about early gay "pioneers" in my neighborhood by meeting with older GAY residents of Brookyln Heights. That is one example of how meeting with other gay people yields a different perspective. To those of you who are angry that I did not suggest some sort of straight rally, are you the same people who are against gay marriage because you think the next step after that is marrying one's dog? Most of the responses to this post seem to be by straight people. Do you think ridiculing my idea and insinuating I am some kind of idiot makes you a supporter of gay rights? When the NAACP holds a conference, do you send them nasty letters telling them how bigotry does not exist? As far as those who are obviously upset at the idea of forming social groups, do YOU feel represented by the blanket terms "American" or "New Yorker"? I belong to a classical music group. Does that make me an isolationist because I like to play the violin with other musicians? Thank you all for your comments. I think you proved the point that was the catalyst for this whole subject.
Posted by: bheightsejp at October 8, 2007 3:01 PM
I am lauging my butt off. I think it is so funny how some gay guy tries to have a party and other gay guys jump all over him and bash his idea. No wonder straights laugh at you people. You can't even support one another. I have lived in Brooklyn 68 years and seen plenty of the gays, chicks and guys fix up houses and change neighborhoods. I don't agree with their lifestyle, but I like what they have done to the blocks they live in. And you know what? I know a lot of guys who are plumbers, electricians, contractors, etc. who HAVE called them names, to their face and behind their backs, charged them more than regular people because everyone thinks gays have more money, and done crappy work because they thought some sissies would not know any better. It happened back in the 70's and it happens now. I don't think the op thinks he is a victim. Sounds like the guy has a nice house and does ok. He just seems like a guy who has an idealistic idea of what Brooklyn is and wants to meet other people who have similar stories to tell. Why are you all so nasty?
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 3:10 PM
I, too, am laughing my butt off, Guest 3:10--at you. I really love it when people say "I don't agree with their lifestyle." That's like saying you don't agree with light fixtures, trees, or sodium chloride--all those things simply exist, and can't really be "agreed with" or otherwise. You meant "approve of," of course.
Also: "....charged them more than regular people"? So you're happy to profit from gays cleaning up your neighborhood, but you can't bring yourself to consider us regular humans? Okay, maybe the OP has a point about some of B-stoners readers. Jesus H. Christ.
People are jumping all over the OP not because he wants to have a party, but because he started his post with a needlessly provocative, whiny, victim-y tone utterly uncalled for on a site that has always seemed to me to be welcoming to everybody. Sure, if he wants to assemble a club of gay Brownstoners, that's his bidness. It's just not the right site to declare "We're Here, We're Queer, Get used to it" in general. Other than yourself, most people here seem to be pretty comfy with The Gays.
Posted by: Rehab at October 8, 2007 3:31 PM
the work of some 50 year old closeted troll (Maria if I remember correctly...)
Have no fear Maria is here
I responded to a ridiculous question of a gay person looking for someone to "talk" to when he was really looking for a date.. if that's homophobic...so be it...I have no apologies for it..
That's the problem with people always trying to segregrate the world...gay bar, gay websites, gay this gay that, why can't you just be human like the rest of us?? Everyone gets insulted once in a while, if that's going to take some skin off your back, you should have stayed in the closet..
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 4:05 PM
" You can't even support one another"
I'm SOOO confused. so all those people who make fun of of park slope moms are GAY?
wait a minute. not true at all. straight men and women bashing people who decided to stay in nyc to procreate.
and if george bush were gay, i should stand it line behind him because we need to "support one another"
what in god's name does being gay or straight or black or pink ever meant that we should support them because of that?
what ever happened to supporting someone because you agree with them? now we support someone because of who they sleep with?
uhhh. you've got some SERIOUS issues.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 4:20 PM
Maria...I'm happy to post the thread that you were on where it was pretty much obvious to every person that you are a sicko.
The poster said at the outset they they were looking for a relationship oriented man and as a newcomer, wanted to know where to meet them.
your subsequent comments portrayed you as an EXTREMELY unintelligent and ignorant "woman."
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 4:25 PM
Let's play asshole Mad Libs!
Everyone gets insulted once in a while, if that's going to take some skin off your back, you should have stayed __________!
in the kitchen
in the ghetto
at the kiddie table
in Bumfuck, Nebraska
in the closet
on the short bus
in Africa
in the suburbs
in Puerto Rico
Fun!
Thanks, Maria!
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 4:43 PM
mmm...bumfuck...
you HAD to say that on a gay post didn't you...!!!
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 4:47 PM
So, did you get any posts that agreed with you and want to join your group?
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 5:11 PM
he he 3:43 - that's funny.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 5:55 PM
Love to work for Gay people.
I treat them with respect and they just do the same.
Respect it's all it counts.
I tried to translate this poem to English and this is what I ended up with:
Be yourself
Try to be happy
But first of all
Be yourself
Se tu,
e intenta ser feliz.
pero ante todo,
Se tu.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 8:09 PM
Yes 5:11...me, I am the 11 am poster and said count me in.
I still think it's a good idea. So good, I am going to post my e-mail for an invite: eliz181144@aol.com.
Anyone, like minded to the OP, who wnats to get together, hang and enjoy our homes/renovations together - feel free to write. Any haters - you can write too...
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 8:14 PM
This whole thing seems very gay to me.
Let's watch football.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 9:26 PM
football players have such great asses.
Posted by: guest at October 8, 2007 10:43 PM
Only the quarterbacks and the receivers. The rest of them are fat.
Posted by: Rehab at October 9, 2007 10:15 AM
so true, rehab....so true.
now soccer players asses...THOSE are the true works of art!
Posted by: guest at October 9, 2007 11:20 AM
yeah, let's watch football. Big beefy men's in skin tight pants!
Posted by: guest at October 9, 2007 6:56 PM
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