First Time Homeowner Anxiety
Hi, I just bought my first home and while I expected to experience some anxiety over being a homeowner, I find myself really, really worried: will I be happy there, will I be working just to pour money into the place, will I ever be able to take a vacation again, will I do something…
Hi, I just bought my first home and while I expected to experience some anxiety over being a homeowner, I find myself really, really worried: will I be happy there, will I be working just to pour money into the place, will I ever be able to take a vacation again, will I do something wrong or not do something I am supposed to do that will cause an issue with the heating or electrical? I am really overwhelmed and would love to hear how other managed the stress–even alleviated it a little. Are the strategies for maintaining your sanity and your home?
I would trade places with you any day! Being a renter in NYC is the worse feeling ever! Your hard earned money handed over to line your landlords pocket isn’t a great feeling.
The first place I bought was a 100+-year-old vacation cottage that needed a ton of work I couldn’t afford. (In fact, twenty years later, I’m still doing some of this work.) When I describe the experience to people, I often joke: “The first year you own it, every time you leave the house you worry that there will just be a hole in the ground when you return. The second year, you hope that there will just be a hole in the ground when you return. But by the third year, you settle down.”
when we bought our house i would sit at my desk at work having palpitations. seriously, it was that bad. it wasn’t that we were overextended (that much anyway) but the thought of having that much debt was making me physically ill. thank god it was short lived, i talked myself through it (the valium helped) and five years later we are happy we did it. number one thing to remember-there will always be something that needs to be done-take it slow and don’t try to get everything done right away. the house isn’t going anywhere. enjoy!
Cantaffordcarroll, regarding your initial question here, your plea for advice on how to handle the stress — make friends with a neighbor or neighbors. That was truly above all else what kept us sane and still proves to be a blessing. We got information and advice from them and if nothing else they were always good for a martini! Your neighborhood will be more social when the weather warms up. Take advantage of it.
cantaffordcarroll- I’d be more worried if you weren’t having an anxiety attack :-).
Also, anyone have a good handyman to recommend?
OP Here–I think I did everything right. I am not exceeding 25% of my gross income, I got a 5.25 mortgage rate, I put a a good amount down. Yet, I am still filled with terror. I am hoping to have the same experience as most of you–that it will pass with time. I know the fears are both rational and irrational and that change is hard. I guess that I was thinking it was going to be much easier. Everyone says that home-ownership means pride and control and I thinking of renting as carefree. Also, after all that saving, it is scary not to have months of expenses sitting in the bank right now. I worry about rebuilding the emergency fund while saving to redo the bathroom and kitchen. It all seems so much! Thanks to all of you for reminding me to breathe and be patient.
Cantaffordcarroll:
Here’s the thing. Owning your own house is a responsibilty and a joy that will match few othe things in life. Here’s the best thing. Since this is your first home you were probably a renter. Didn’t you have something that absolutely drove you crazy about your rental? As an owner you have the ability to make sure that things are exactly to your liking. The best thing about home ownership.
There is no doubt that the first year will probably come with many adjustments. You may eat out less. Perhaps the only way that you will be able to see that blockbuster movie is to go see the bargain matinee. But have no doubt, at the end of the day…This is your place and your home.
Embrace the experience and find a handyman.
benson, i think the reason people are being generally ‘encouraging’ here is because it sounds so similar to feelings new first-time homeowners have felt. i was the same way, still am sometimes! it doesn’t matter what the financials are (tho you’d like to think that somebody who was able to get a mortgage in this client must be doing fine money-wise).
my advice to the OP: take that nervous energy and run with it! i wish i was completing projects on my house at the rate i did when i first moved in. I was painting, refinishing, building stuff, cleaning … now i moslty look around and say I’ll get around to it one of these days 🙂