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Is it just me, or is there a lot of hot-tub lovin’ going on in Brooklyn these days? (To clarify, I’m not claiming with that sentence that *I* am getting lotsa underwater affection.) What I mean is: We’ve just completed a house hunt that took us through 50-plus bstones/rowhouses in Bklyn–CG, CH, FG, CH, even P$ just for laughs–and saw five or six houses with people-cookers in the backyard. Way more than I would have ever expected. Usually in conjunction with pressure-treated decking and a taller-than-code privacy fence. You could shoot some rockin’ porn at some of these places–particularly the 3-family shithole on 3rd Street in CG for $1.5 mill with the algae-filled pool, the two rent-controlled tenants who’ve been there since the 70s, and the geriatric cats. (Oh, shit, I’m losing my chubby.) We saw two or three Jacuzzis out in the open IN THE MASTER BEDROOM SUITE of a couple places, which actually skeeves me out even more than outdoor lovebuckets. I remember one outdoor scene on Clermont that had a beautifullly landscaped backyard, but was still totally dominated by this fake-wood tub that looked like Jackson Brown and Carly Simon should be simmering in it, passing joints back and forth. I mean, seriously: Do you really want a warm little pond in your backyard in Brooklyn, New York? Wouldn’t critters get in there and rot? Rats? Skeeters? Clamydia? And, given the close quarters and the weather here, is this really the place to git nekkid and drink sangria with your neighbors’ hot wife? (Or hot husband?) What’s next: mustaches? Oh, wait, those are already back…