Brooklyn Co-Housing Moving Closer to Reality?

I always find the comments sections for articles like this rather amusing. People who simply have no idea what they are talking about, and who would never be interested in living cooperatively anyway, end up dominating the conversation. And really only do it so that they can see their own words in pixels. (the cyber equivalent of hearing the sound of their own voices)

Yes... we get it... you don't want to share a frikkin' kitchen with someone else. You don't have to, and in fact, you're not invited. Please, stay in your isolated apartment and your isolated life, and leave the few of us who want to at least TRY cooperating with the other humans alone. You can do anything you want at any time you want without having to ask for permission or explaining your actions to anyone else. Good for you! Go for it. We wish you all the best. Enjoy...

I've lived in two "intentional communities" and I can say that they are not for everyone. I lived for 4 years at Ganas, mentioned elsewhere in the comments here, and for 4 years in the Kerista community in San Francisco. That particular community WAS the epitome of the classic "hippie commune" and I wouldn't trade my time and experience there for anybody's one-bedroom upper east side walk-up. I've visited, known people from, read about and discussed dozens of other communities around the world, and it is actually a lifestyle on the rise at this point in time. Again, it's not for everybody, and the haters are perfectly welcome to keep to themselves.

Co-housing, like what this article discusses, is nowhere near as intense as living in a "commune" or some other forms of cooperative living. Co-housing, like any other lifestyle, is not for everybody. How many times does that need to be said? I know that the detractors understand this, but again, their purpose for making comments about an article like this one is simply to see their own words and get some kind of reaction. People with a need to get attention like this tend to not do well in community.

We live in a world wracked by violence, warming up as we burn what's left of the fossil fuels available, polluted by the packaging that we discard from the cheap plastic crap that we don't really need anyway, and overpopulated by billions of people, most of who would love nothing more than to live MY lower middle class lifestyle. Something's gonna give, and it's gonna give way REAL soon.

People who are open to and able to live with and cooperate with other humans may actually have a place to thrive in the next generation. All the isolated "individualists" who are more concerned with not having a spot of mustard on the kitchen counter than they are with actually connecting with real, live, breathing human beings may find it increasingly difficult to thrive on this sweet little planet of ours once the shit really hits the fan. Unless they are fabulously wealthy. But then I suspect that those types aren't too concerned about the future anyway. It's more fun to spend one's time being snarky on internet discussion forums than it is to actually try and do something positive and useful.

Right?

Posted by: pss11211 at August 15, 2008 3:02 PM

Thank you, Polemicist. I appreciate that.

Issues of co-housing / cooperative living come up every once in a while in the mainstream media. Whenever there is a forum for people to comment on whatever the article is about, that forum is ALWAYS dominated by those people who are simply unwilling to clean up someone else's cereal bowl. (I'm eating cereal this very minute, and I can put my own bowl in the dishwasher! If I don't, and someone complains, it's not the end of the world.)

It amazes me how much energy individuals like that are willing to spend knocking a perfectly valid lifestyle option, without actually investigating what it may have to offer, or knowing full well that they are simply not interested. Why do they insist on behaving this way? Is it fear of the unknown or the "other"? Is it a bad experience in the past with the roommate from hell? Most likely, it's because people like that ARE the roommate from hell, and they know that they would constantly be getting feedback for their behavior if they were in a communal situation.

Co-housing, cooperative and communal living situations work best when there is a Social Contract, one that everyone involved can agree upon. It could be as simple as "Everyone must wash their own dishes," or as complex as whatever some of the various religious communities have in place. A lot of people are reluctant to agree to a social contract, because they believe that it may limit their options, or that they may actually be held accountable for their actions.

This country was formed with a contract, which is now being eviscerated by people who don't feel like playing by the rules. How's that working out? I would be willing to wager that some of the same people who would complain the loudest about the possibility of having to wash someone else's dishes, are also some of the same who complain the loudest about the way the Constitution is being violated by the criminal political class. I can't prove this, but I would still bet on it!

What are we going to do in the near future? Are we going to wait for everyone in China and India to have their own automobile, dishwasher, washer/dryer and lawnmower, all powered by fossil fuels, before we decided to retool something, ANYTHING to keep our pretty little world livable? Personally, I think everybody on the planet should have and deserves access to an automobile, dishwasher, washer/dryer and lawnmower, but do we REALLY each need to OWN one that we keep to ourselves? Maybe YOU do, but I don't. Increasing numbers of other people in our society are realizing that they don't either, and can share. And, at a time when the economy is shaky at best, maybe it's time to start thinking like that a little more.

Something's gonna give, and I don't mind giving a little of myself to help ensure that when that something does give, the pain is as minimal as possible. The people who aren't willing to give a little of themselves... don't have to! They may, however, find their lives to be a bit empty and lonely and hopefully not too difficult when our civilization goes through its next upheaval. It's happening as we speak, and it's happening largely as a result of the isolation created by the "manufactured needs" of the marketplace. Big Capitalism is a great way to distribute goods and services, but it makes for a lousy state religion. Big Capitalism wants us each to have our own automobile, dishwasher, washer/dryer and lawnmower, but we don't have to heed its siren call for more, more, more!

If we don't want to...

Posted by: pss11211 at August 16, 2008 12:24 PM

"Blame Capitalism"?

Both of the communities that I've lived in functioned very well within Capitalism, thank you very much! Extremely well! In fact, in Kerista, (where we joked that we were a "cult of accountants") one of our many mottoes was that we "Made Money Like Capitalists and Spent It Like Socialists." Got a problem with that? If so, then don't participate.

However, I don't believe that Free-Market Global Capitalism is in that great shape right now. Do you? Do you like the idea of "socializing the risk and privatizing the profits"? I don't. I think the only time companies that fail should be bailed out by MY taxpayer dollars is if those companies are then nationalized. Now there's a novel idea! Or are you comfortable with the kleptocracy the way it is?

I liked this line: "Co-housing represents a small step towards people attempting to solve problems for themselves in their own way." I don't understand why this concept is so difficult and so foreign. It's a choice, and has very little to do with who does the dishes.

And finally... "why are you here again (in one of the most expensive cities in the world) and what do you do for a living?"

I'm here because it's interesting. New York is my home and I love it. Does that mean that I have to live the way everyone else here does? I don't have to be ironic or cynical all the time, do I? I don't have to aspire to simply accumulating as much personal wealth as possible, right?

And what do I do for a living? Well, right now I'm sitting in a real estate office, and I'm a licensed salesperson. (it's slow these days) I got into this industry because I know a lot of my neighbors, am very familiar with my neighborhood, and wanted to try to find the formula or formulas for using a real estate approach to building small intentional communities. Those formulas (and there are several) are just within my reach, and Brooklyn Co-Housing is an inspiration.

p.s. - I love the idea of a community for people who like to pay other people to wash their dishes. I think that's a great idea, and would probably do quite well in the marketplace! :-)

Posted by: pss11211 at August 16, 2008 3:54 PM