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July 29, 2008
Onion: Gentrification Being Trumped by Artistocratization
Given all the outpouring of nostalgia last week for the good old days of more crime and fewer flea markets, this excerpt from a recent Onion article titled Nation's Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization provided some much needed comic relief:
Many of those affected by the ostentatious reshaping of their once purely upmarket neighborhoods said that they often wish for a return back to the privileged communities they helped to overdevelop just a few years ago. Among the first to feel the effects of the encroaching aristocracy have been local business owners like Fort Greene, Brooklyn resident Neil Getz.
"Around here, you used to be able to get a Fair-Trade latte and a chocolate-chip croissant for only eight bucks," said Getz, who is planning to move back in with his parents after being forced out of the lease on his organic grocery store by a harpsichord purveyor. "Now it's all tearooms and private salon gatherings catered with champagne and suckling pig. Who can afford that?"
"It's just a terrible shame," Getz continued. "There was this great little shop right across the street from my duplex apartment where I bought my baby daughter a Ramones onesie a couple of years ago, just after she was born. That whole block is an opera house now."
Just as long as the aristos don't tie their horse-drawn carriages up to the castle scaffolding, everything should be okay.
Nation's Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization [Onion]
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Comments
That reminds me - we could use a theme restaurant with big turkey drumsticks and sweaty, men jousting.
Posted by: superstooper at July 29, 2008 10:09 AM
I guess you ARE living in the past, as this article was published back in March!
Posted by: Carol Gardens at July 29, 2008 10:13 AM
"More Crime, Fewer Flea Markets" belongs on a t-shirt.
Posted by: Johnny at July 29, 2008 10:14 AM
What, satire? Clubs you over the head and is not too subtle or clever.
Posted by: jawbreaker at July 29, 2008 10:21 AM
Didn't you hear? - nowadays satire needs a label stuck on identifying it as such.
Posted by: dittoburg at July 29, 2008 10:23 AM
jeez- so much for having a little fun.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 29, 2008 10:27 AM
After reading this months ago, I finally understood all the folks who against arugula.
Posted by: nosleeptil at July 29, 2008 10:30 AM
I am personally against all forms of gourmet fungi found in the nether regions of exotic countries. and you can forget about the whole bended knee thing- I don't do aristo-worship.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 29, 2008 10:49 AM
I thought that was kind of funny. I got to read the whole thing online now.
Posted by: BlueBerry at July 29, 2008 10:54 AM
Although I have to say, there is nothing like a well-turned man's leg in a silk stocking and heeled shoe. The powdered wig, however- no no no.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 29, 2008 10:58 AM
meh, the kitchen in that castle has recessed candelabras.
Posted by: z at July 29, 2008 11:24 AM
"good old days of more crime and fewer flea markets" - LOL! My, my, my, aren't we full of ourselves todays. :p Yes, everything has gotten better because of Y-O-U and people like Y-O-U. Smooches!
The Pentagon should send a few hundred Brownstoner yuppies and a couple Chase ATM Branches to Iraq and Afghanistan to help gentrify those poor slobs....
Posted by: qis4quincy at July 29, 2008 11:55 AM
You're killing me today, bxgrl.
Posted by: 11233 at July 29, 2008 12:09 PM
q4q- Funny how you can justify your prejudice when it is about "brownstoner yuppies". Do you really think that you know anything about the lives of thousands of people? I'm sure that my story would not fit your perception. I'm not really trying to bust your chops too much. I am as guilty of judging haters like you. Do you really think that there aren't any brownstoners who have relatives fighting this stupid war? How naive and disrespectful.
Posted by: superstooper at July 29, 2008 12:13 PM
BTW- neighborhoods are safer because people renovate houses, raise property values and insist on better schools. Are you debating that?
Posted by: superstooper at July 29, 2008 12:20 PM
Great...when you thought it couldn't get any worse in Brooklyn with overly high priced housing, the aristocrats have to push their way in and make it worse.
This only reinforces the fact that moving to Staten Island is the most logical answer for the residents of Brooklyn.
Instead of throwing away your money renting a small apartment in BK, you can own your own property for three times the size, which is one of the best investments a person can make. To throw in the trump card, residents have their own parking space, safer surroundings and good public schools to say the least.
Forget all the uptight aristocrats that are invading your neighborhoods with their million dollar CASTLES, and come relax at my humble abode across the bridge on my nice peaceful island. Now tell me that doesn't sound tempting.
Advice of the Day: You only live once; but if you do it right, once is enough.
Posted by: Zohan12 at July 29, 2008 12:23 PM
Zohan12...just buy an ad here on brownstoner and hype your SI properties legitimately!!!
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 29, 2008 12:30 PM
And Staten Island is well protected by those folks on the hill.
Posted by: superstooper at July 29, 2008 12:32 PM
daveinbedstuy,
Why would I buy an ad for the house I live in. Now that would be a waste of money. I'm just trying to show my great borough some love. I don't know why I'm getting attacked.
Posted by: Zohan12 at July 29, 2008 12:40 PM
Sorry if you didn't pick up the sarcasm in my post, after all we are talking about a piece in the Onion (for god's sake!) ;)
Kisses
PS Crime has decreased citywide. Not just in Brownstoner Ville. Increasing property values don't decrease crime rates if this were the case Midtown Manhattan would be crime free.
Posted by: qis4quincy at July 29, 2008 12:42 PM
Oh goodness- sorry. I am so used to that line on this blog that I thought you were serious. I became my own worst nightmare. Thanks for the wake-up call. Live is so good that way.
Anyway- not sure I agree about crime since there clearly are so many people in mid-town that are not residents. I think that I could argue my point for residential areas.
Kisses to you.
Posted by: superstooper at July 29, 2008 12:51 PM
It's ok Zohan...I got your back! There is nothing wrong with Staten Island and I myself will vouch for that. I'm moving there soon and it feels amazing to finally be a homeowner.
Posted by: Smatchums at July 29, 2008 12:55 PM
How are your legs, 11233? :-)
Posted by: bxgrl at July 29, 2008 1:07 PM
This is an old article
Posted by: Dora Chica at July 29, 2008 1:24 PM
oh please- so what? It's still a fun read and not everyone has seen it.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 29, 2008 2:32 PM
Damn fine, with or without stockings and a heeled shoe. (Can't stop laughing at the image in my head of men in stockings.)
Posted by: 11233 at July 29, 2008 2:47 PM
then you'll love these!
http://www.costumes.org/History/racinet/2/medievaleuro1.jpg
http://www.costumes.org/history/stibbert/210.jpg
http://www.springfield.k12.il.us/schools/springfield/eliz/images2/FashMen1.jpeg
http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/drama/images/costume/wigs.jpg
A friend of mine and I used to do theater costume for local theater group.s One year she did the costumes for camelot fo Gallery Players. the guy playing Lancelot had stellar legs- his costume was quite a bit shorter than the period called for. But who cared?! Ultra short tunic and white leotards= mucho swooning females (and probably a few males too)
Posted by: bxgrl at July 29, 2008 4:01 PM
God, how I love a Renaissance and fantasy themed theatrical experience.
Posted by: superstooper at July 29, 2008 4:32 PM
I want a medieval/Shakespearian themed place to eat with horses and jousting and men in tights, armor and funny hats. Oh, and saying milady this and milady that.
Gallery Players is a wonderful theater group. I think they are still around- and Park Slopers know? The only contemporary show I ever costumed for them was One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest but my favorite costuming job was Midsummer's Night's Dream for the Playhouse in the Mall in Jersey. Sadly they closed down years ago but they were great!
Posted by: bxgrl at July 29, 2008 5:06 PM
I think those outfits are stunning and it takes me back to my Renaissance roll playing days :). It's a shame that the idealisms of most people in today's society are not influenced by the virtues of those living in the good ol' days. Those times of experimintation, individuality, literature, art and philosophy are long gone. Today's generation thinks by putting on a pair of tight jeans with loafers and a wringled vintage plaid shirt, while listening to obscure indie rock music, living in a 500 sq ft apartment in Brooklyn is a statement of individuality; when in fact they are just conforming to what is hip and cool at the moment.
Posted by: Jackslope at July 29, 2008 5:14 PM
You must have had a blast, Jackslope. did you do the ren fest upstate? There was one out on Long Island that was a fundraiser for one of the Churches. My sister and I did that one- I loved it! My fave memory was watching the Faun get into his pants...ahh...put on his legs.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 29, 2008 6:41 PM
bxgrl,
It's amazing to take part in those types of events. It makes me feel like I'm in my own little world and the mundane reality of the real world does not exist anymore. I use to attend the Sterling Festival near Oswego. It was a sight to see and such a blast. I helped organize a few Renaissance and Medieval plays in the schools on Staten Island. It's great to get the kids involved. They have a great time and it is also very educational. They definitely love the Fauns...they are cute little creatures or scary at times lol.
Posted by: Jackslope at July 30, 2008 11:12 AM
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