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July 30, 2008
Dyker Heights 'Mansion': Yours for $2 Mil
Should you be keen on calling Dyker Heights home but are of slightly more modest means than the buyer who paid $2.5 million for the priciest spread to changed hands in Brooklyn last week, take a gander at the listing that landed in our inbox yesterday (subject line: "Brooklyn Mansion"). The 5,800-square-foot house is described as follows: "Architecturally breathtaking, this custom four bedroom, three and a half bathroom, center-hall Colonial in desirable Dyker Heights, perfectly captures the essence of the modern living with an expansive foyer with its impressive wedding staircase, high chandelier and imported Italian marble flooring. The adjacent east-wing has a home office, full bathroom and guest room....the sprawling finished basement boasts a lavish underground pool fitted with skylights and a relaxing veranda. French doors lead to the custom wet-bar and game room that's perfect for entertaining in this in-door paradise." All for a mere $1,999,000.
7401 14th Avenue [Fillmore] GMAP
Last Week's Biggest Sales [Brownstoner]
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Comments
One word for that green room----STYLE!
Posted by: troll at July 30, 2008 11:07 AM
Is there an official count on lawn statues?
Posted by: superstooper at July 30, 2008 11:10 AM
This could make a decent IHOP
Posted by: Karka at July 30, 2008 11:11 AM
"architecturally breathtaking"
Well yeah, in one way.
Not like any "center hall colonial" I've ever seen.
I bet this gets 100 posts before 3:00. Lets see what PropJoe has to say about what kind of people cab afford this!!!
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:12 AM
Karka...I think it looks more like a converted Howard Johnsons
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:13 AM
I didn't think HoJo's was still around, but maybe it was converted from one as you say.
Posted by: Karka at July 30, 2008 11:14 AM
Please..someone please explain the wicker yard furniture in the bathroom and the airport food court seating wherever that is.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:15 AM
hahahahaha. I have to laugh so I don't cry.
p.s. what's with the restaurant room (multiple tables) - is this place really doubling as a HoJos?
Posted by: gkw at July 30, 2008 11:15 AM
I am gagging on the ostentatiousness.
Do I have to dye my hair blue-black if I want to buy it?
Kidding (sort of)!
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 11:16 AM
You meant they are paying $1,999,000 for someone to take the house off their hands, right? Sorry- not nearly enough.Or as my cat would say- Ack! gack!
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 11:16 AM
Actually, the place screams catering hall to me...
Posted by: tinarina at July 30, 2008 11:17 AM
I hope Mr B sends this thread to the listing broker at the end of the day.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:19 AM
No townhouse lady- bleached blonde more like :-) (sorry- I'm brunette. have to defend the hair color)
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 11:19 AM
Growing Up Gotti
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:20 AM
I'm assuming "breathtaking" refers to the sharp inspiration into your lungs before the inevitable choking on your cornflakes. What's with the anorexic ionic columns? Perhaps they are meant to be ironic columns.
Posted by: dittoburg at July 30, 2008 11:21 AM
Catering Hall....must be the "Wedding Staircase".
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 11:21 AM
My suggestion: switch the pool and the living room.
Some SERIOUS decor here to match the faux fieldstone hacienda-romanesque mit Juliet balcony and active heliport exterior....
Posted by: AB at July 30, 2008 11:21 AM
What are the grotto-like constructs on either side of the stone wall? Matching yet assymetrical in placement.
Could there be a couple of BVMs on the inside of each one?
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:24 AM
aren't they supposed to have wispy fog and lights on a string going down the staircase for the brides? And room for the guy playing the fanfare?
would make a nice motor court in New Jersey. In fact, I think i saw one just like it there.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 11:25 AM
My colleagues here at the firm are just awestruck by this abomination. None of them have ever heard of Dyker heights either which has produced a few other jokes as well.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:26 AM
Dave- those are the 2 arch type thingies on the stone wall. On the other side are 2 grotto like enclosures with fake frogs,rabbits and fairies, and twin water features that are lit at night by colored lights that changing with the muzak.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 11:27 AM
Can't wait 'till Biff sees this!!! And he thinks BH has got all the class!!
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:29 AM
This house will sell for ask or close, will sell quickly, and will sell to someone who lives in a neighborhood you've never set foot in.
Changes are they will belong to a ethnic group you've only read about in the papers or seen on TV.
And they will think it's absolutely gorgous.
Posted by: Architerrorist at July 30, 2008 11:29 AM
Dave, I think you mean "Growing Up Gaudy"!
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 11:30 AM
Where's Landmarks??? We've seen a number of examples recently where things like this "slip through the cracks."
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:31 AM
Brownstoner must have had a heart attack with all the recessed lighting.
Posted by: bayridgegirl at July 30, 2008 11:32 AM
At the "private rooftop terrace escape" one gets a fine view of the neighboring satellite dishes. The elegance goes on and on...
Posted by: tinarina at July 30, 2008 11:32 AM
No bathroom and kitchen photos would indicate that the extent of the renovation is still in question.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:33 AM
Re the listing's "relaxing veranda": I hate tense verandas, don't you?
Posted by: AB at July 30, 2008 11:34 AM
My mom would absolutely love this place. She's the litmus test for overly ostentatious, bad taste - although her hair isn't quite so blue yet. As for the listing broker; I'm imagining from the smirk in his pic that even he can't be taking this listing too seriously.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 11:36 AM
Please post your architect's name.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:37 AM
It would cost 2m in renovation to undo all of this.
Hubby and I go to Dyker Heights to see the xmas lights every year and we are taken aback by all the hideous renovations. People think this is nice?!
Once we were awestruck (and not in a nice way) by a corner house that had a lot of stone animals in front. We stood there staring and counting. 'Vinny' came out of the house and was staring right back at us. We were scared.
I don't think it was this house. Believe it or not. There is more than one house in Dyker heights that looks like this.
Posted by: bayridgegirl at July 30, 2008 11:38 AM
Mr. B, please please please show us more Dyker Heights listings if this is even close to being representative of other "mansions" in the area!
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 11:40 AM
hahahaha....HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Whew. (wiping eyes w/back of hand.)
Posted by: new2hood at July 30, 2008 11:41 AM
Anyone want to bed the bathroom fixtures are gold plated and the counters are lapis lazuli
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:43 AM
Yes, much of Dyker Heights is like this. You get the feeling the every new renovation is about trying to one-up the neighbors--"I've got more fancy columns and statues and out-of scale windows than you now!" It's pretty amazing and depressing to see, but someone from the neighborhood will likely buy this. I'm sure it's a famous property in that neck of the woods.
I also just noticed that this house is a TWO FAMILY--so you could rent out that side to your catering clients when you do events.
Posted by: tinarina at July 30, 2008 11:46 AM
I'm actually brunette too...
I was thinking of that particular color of black that's so artificial it turns blue in bright light. My head is spinning thinking of all the closet space for mine and my husbands matching velour track suits. I might even have my nail tech come and do my acrylic "fill-ins" poolside so she could see our architecturally breathtaking estate.
Come to think of it...you know what captures the essence of this perfectly? The chandelier skit that appeared on SNL...
"Chandeliers can add a touch of class to any room. If you’re ready for the high-class life, come visit Mike and Toni at Chandelier Galaxy. You gotta get a Chandelier!"
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 11:47 AM
Are the faucets those gold swans?
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 11:48 AM
I was thinking of the SNL "Marble Columns" skit myself...
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/saturday-night-live-mikes-marbleopolis/137880719
Posted by: new2hood at July 30, 2008 11:49 AM
The house is horrible IMO, but I'm sure that people of "taste" in the late 19th Century were were making similar negative comments about the nouveau riche mansions in places like Mr. B's own Clinton Hill. I hope this dreck doesn't stand the test of time as well as they have, but who knows? I'm old enough to remember when mid-century modern was new [and BTW still hate it] so I'm making no predictions.
Posted by: Bob Marvin at July 30, 2008 11:49 AM
You know- it's not so bad. throw in few more fancy fixtures, faux gold leafing and porcelain milk pails, any Sun King wannabe can live the dream. (we can get the men in tights from the castle thread to play on the lawn).
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 11:53 AM
I'm proud to see all of the attention being paid to my hometown. I'm not sure, but I think this house was rumoured to have belong to Steve Lawrence & Edye Gourmet at one time (no, I'm not kidding). Possibly Vincent Gardenia? My memory fails me.
There are some beautiful houses along 11th Avenue. This? Eh, not so much, but not all that uncommon for the area.
Posted by: Dyker Blights at July 30, 2008 11:53 AM
Bob...we haven't seen you in a while. Where u been??
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 11:57 AM
New2Hood, we love the "Marble Columns" sketch too. It's the best. We quote it whenever something reminds us of it. Like this house.
Posted by: traditionalmod at July 30, 2008 11:58 AM
Priced per sq ft this house is a bargain compared to Park Slope
Posted by: fsrg at July 30, 2008 11:59 AM
Looks like the Microsoft executive dining hall.
Posted by: Steve at July 30, 2008 12:07 PM
One of those rare listings that would look better unfurnished.
Posted by: Johnny at July 30, 2008 12:09 PM
GROSS! Has Dirty Jersey Guido written all over this mess. I imagine the wife drives a massive SUV, doesn't work, has friend's who work at hair salons & she wears leopard print thinking it's great fashion sense. The hubby definitely works in "cash business" & the 2 sons are straight up "Joey's" who tan, 'roid it up & barely graduated HS though they do drive BMW 382i with mad rims. On a positive, the daughter is smokin hott. God, what bad taste some people have...
Posted by: PropJoe at July 30, 2008 12:16 PM
Bob why do you hate mid-century modern, specifically? I can understand hating 70's split-level ranch style houses but to hate mid-century is unfortunate. There's as big a preservationist movement in mid-century as there is in Victorian houses and more urgent because there are far fewer of the mid-century houses. I knew people in CA who owned houses by some of the most significant mid-century architects and those who haven't been inside them would be surprised to know woodwork and stonework and cabinets were handcrafted just like in an antique house. But with clean lines not frou-frou details, that's all. The large wraparound glass walls and windows connect the interior to nature on the outside, as many of the houses were built for wooded settings. So there's a reason for that glass. If you're into nature and the environment you have to love a mid-century house. And they are smaller scale houses; some are tiny. Only for people who live efficiently. They were the anti-mcmansions of their time.
Posted by: traditionalmod at July 30, 2008 12:19 PM
An indoor pool is sweet, though, I think I would drown looking at all that ugly tile.
Posted by: bayridgegirl at July 30, 2008 12:20 PM
Woah, my eyes, my eyes!
It would be very cool to have an indoor pool, however. A little pool envy there. But everything else is rather scary, especially the rococco dining room set with the cherubs.
Posted by: Montrose Morris at July 30, 2008 12:21 PM
In fairness, let's not forget that people who like houses like this think that folks like us, who would spend $2 million on a narrow "walk-up" with unpainted wood trim and no swimming pool are out of our minds....
Posted by: Park Sloper at July 30, 2008 12:24 PM
WOO HOO!!!!! Hipster Contempt for Brooklyn!! We are back to the Good Old Days!!!!
Posted by: eastriver at July 30, 2008 12:26 PM
Love that video.
"With mawble cawlums in your house, that place is gonna look like a MANSION!"
http://www.hulu.com/watch/2347/saturday-night-live-mikes-marbleopolis
Posted by: Bklnite at July 30, 2008 12:28 PM
traditionalmod...this is just not the proper thread for a serious discussion about architecture.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 12:30 PM
All this house needs is for someone to paint a sky / cloud and cherubs ceiling in the master bedroom.
Posted by: bayridgegirl at July 30, 2008 12:31 PM
How to get the green room look:
1. Feed cat lots of food
2. Tie cat to ceiling fan
3. Turn on fan to high
4. Watch cat throw up
Posted by: troll at July 30, 2008 12:33 PM
Where's the hott italian daughter at? Can we git a looks at her?
Posted by: PropJoe at July 30, 2008 12:34 PM
You bunch of pompous Asshats! You got some nerve criticizing other people homes. with all that BS construction going on. Putting Asshat buildings on beautiful Brownstone blocks! Putting Asshat Condo's (20 Stories) in block that have 3 story houses on them! At lease the people that build this POS used their money and not borrowed from Dumbasses Bank!
I pray that Asshats will never have access to capital again...
The What
Someday this war is gonna end.
Posted by: what at July 30, 2008 12:36 PM
Nothing says "I'm loaded!" like a CHANDELIER!
Ya GOTTA get a CHANDELIER!
Mike & Toni's Chandelier Galaxy!
835 Merrick Road in LynnBrook
We'll throw in a free set of handsome ben-wah balls wit' every purchase! If ya hafta ask, ya probably don't want 'em!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/10329/saturday-night-live-chandeliers
Posted by: Bklnite at July 30, 2008 12:39 PM
Fake What, do you ever crash a party and actually try to join the fun rather than try to spoil it? Just asking.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 12:39 PM
geez...the classism, elitism, and all-around stereotyping here is breathtaking. who cares? if you can afford that house you can probably afford to buy some better furniture for it.
and people wonder why the democrats have trouble - well, a main reason is because the trendy blue-state crowd folks have snotty attitudes like those seen on this thread and spend so much time looking down through their noses at fellow americans. when the hipsters started moving into my neighborhood an old-school (jewish) friend of mine said he finally understood why some people voted for pat buchanan.
of course we can probably rest assured that the residents of this house probably don't read brownstoner...but that may have changed with this post!
Posted by: sixyearsandcounting at July 30, 2008 12:44 PM
sixyearsandcounting...you think its just about the furniture???
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 12:48 PM
top marks for judging people who judge people.
Posted by: dittoburg at July 30, 2008 12:49 PM
Sixyearandcounting ain't wrong.
That said, it's an ugly house.
Posted by: Dyker Blights at July 30, 2008 12:53 PM
Dyker Blights...i notice how you've championed your neighborhood with that registration name of yours!!!
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 12:59 PM
I'm truly, truly surprise these owners don't have clear vinyl covering on their furniture.
Posted by: PropJoe at July 30, 2008 1:00 PM
PropJoe...thats the first sensible observation you've ever added since you registered with brownstoner. Are you changing your evil ways?
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:02 PM
There was a custom-made vinyl sofa-cover shop still open on Grand St. in East Williamsburg a couple of years back. I pray to god it is still there.
Posted by: dittoburg at July 30, 2008 1:05 PM
They took off the vinyl covers for staging...it shows so much better this way.
Posted by: bayridgegirl at July 30, 2008 1:05 PM
This POS gets 70 comments in 2 hours and the nice Garden of the Day has only 4. Certainly must have something to do with the red states and blue states as sixyearsandcounting seems to know.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:06 PM
I love this house. The colors are perfect. The furniture is wonderful. I think the best part is that it is a 2 family so I can rent out a portion and we can all share the ample seating in the dining area.
What, since you know so much about real estate, will represent me and negotiate on my behalf?
Posted by: 11233 at July 30, 2008 1:08 PM
11233...If you move out of Bed Stuy and have buyers remorse about this property we will never let you back in.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:10 PM
11233...another point...the broker has neglected to put up any photos of the street or the neighborhood so, although you're falling in love with this house, it may be the nicest house on the street and we all know how unfortunate that usually is.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:12 PM
So you are not coming to live with me in this beautiful house, Dave? So disappointed.
bxgrl: I think a heeled shoe would make a wonderful noise throughout this humble abode.
Posted by: 11233 at July 30, 2008 1:14 PM
Dave, I can enjoy my beautiful new neighborhood from the highly attractive balcony that overlooks the bustling avenue.
Posted by: 11233 at July 30, 2008 1:17 PM
11233...how would i get to work? Would Joey "Chips" drive me every day?
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:17 PM
What's up w/ the coffee shop/ cafeteria in this HoJo? Really weird
Posted by: PropJoe at July 30, 2008 1:19 PM
Dave, the whole point of a no-show union job is the flex time that is built into it. If you rent from me, I can make you an offer you can't refuse.
Posted by: 11233 at July 30, 2008 1:21 PM
Yeah Joe..it looks like the seating in the Manchester, NH airport.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:22 PM
What would it take to convert this to Condos?
Posted by: bayridgegirl at July 30, 2008 1:23 PM
11233 "As long as I live on this earth I will never be a renter again"
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:23 PM
I don't like this house, but I have to say that if I needed 5800 square feet, I would chose this house over a 5 story brownstone that costs twice as much any day. Yes, the decor is bad, but that's just a matter of taste and can be changed over time. Bottom line is that this is a large house in move-in condition (as opposed to most brownstones that basically need to be torn down to the studs to make anything reasonable from them) for under $300 a square foot. And the wedding hall is again, not why I would choose a house, but if you have a large family (and some of us do) it's useful to have a place for large family gatherings.
Posted by: superlawyer at July 30, 2008 1:28 PM
Sixty:
"...and people wonder why the democrats have trouble - well, a main reason is because the trendy blue-state crowd folks have snotty attitudes like those seen on this thread and spend so much time looking down through their noses at fellow americans...."
As opposed, of course, to the Repubs, whose profound concern for "the people" has been demonstrated again and again, to such exemplary effect!
Posted by: AB at July 30, 2008 1:33 PM
superlawyer...you make a good case. Have you seen the photos of the outside yet?
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:34 PM
Lets not turn a serious discussion about architecture in Brooklyn into a political squabble here people.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 1:35 PM
I hope to god the owners have never in their lives heard of a little website called Brownstoner. This is painfully, teeth-achingly harsh. And I'm not feeling all that comfortable with the none-too-subtle "Vinnie" bashing.
That said, I love the pool. Replace the orange-y tiles with limestone and I'd have my own original Superman movie underground grotto.
And Biff, your "Growing up Gaudy" comment was my guilty little pleasure in this thread. How DO you do it?
Posted by: Nokilissa at July 30, 2008 1:39 PM
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/uncensored.shtml
Posted by: the hwat at July 30, 2008 1:40 PM
This place is a steal!
All it needs is a new paint job, some new tile and you've got the mansion we all want and deserve.
And an indoor pool!
Don't knock it till you try it folks....
(and of course a horse drawn carriage in the front to make the neighbors envious!)
Posted by: BSandCHBorderBaby at July 30, 2008 1:45 PM
Prop Joe
you are an @$$ (and I mean that as a compliment.) Politically incorrect but I damn near soaked my desk with the coffee that was in my mouth.
Posted by: Bed Stuy Bully at July 30, 2008 1:53 PM
All I want to know is...When is the open house? How much fun would that be??
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 2:06 PM
TownhouseLady....YES...we all must go...BYOB
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 2:08 PM
I wonder if they'd let us "test drive" the pool? I mean for 2M I want to see just how relaxing that veranda is!
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 2:12 PM
But would any of your friends ever come and visit???
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 2:14 PM
'But would any of your friends ever come and visit???'
How cares, you can always make new friends in the neighborhood.
Posted by: bayridgegirl at July 30, 2008 2:28 PM
bayridgegirl...and throw parties just like the ones on "Swingtown"
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 2:34 PM
This house is it's own neighborhood, bayridgegirl!
Thanks Nokilissa and hello to 100 posts!
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 2:41 PM
Biff...Nokilissa and I had an off line discussion. I hope thats OK
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 2:42 PM
Dave, that's excellent! Does that mean we'll be seeing more of her soon?
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 2:45 PM
Bed Stuy Bully,
Thanks, man. I try. Which comment nearly caused you to spill your coffee?
Posted by: PropJoe at July 30, 2008 2:46 PM
she hopes so. i told her we missed her.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 2:47 PM
All right guys. It may not be your cup of tea, but why all the glee? As someone said above, this thread is pure knee-jerk classism. I'm sure the owners are very proud of it -- you don't like it, don't buy it. Why do you have to take the piss out of someone else's taste?
Yes, I immediately thought "mawble columns... sturdy, elegant, and bursting with class," but why all the self-congratulation on this thread? Insecurity, maybe? Anxiety about your own class status?
Posted by: Desi at July 30, 2008 3:12 PM
Say yes. Nokilissa!
11233- the shoes would resonate nicely on the hardwood floors. Thik of the grand balls one could throw!
I really am sorry anyone is offended at the blog havig a little fun at the house's expense. Bad taste cuts across all racial and cultural lines so anyone could be the owners/bulders as far as I'm concerned. But it is a little - actually it's a lot sad- that there is ethnic bashing. (agreed Nokilissa). 60and counting- I know plenty of republicans with appallingly atrocious taste - in fact they put Bush in the White House for a second term.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 3:13 PM
"Let's not turn a serious discussion about architecture in Brooklyn into a political squabble here people."
Now that's the funniest thing I've heard all day.
Posted by: Park Sloper at July 30, 2008 3:14 PM
POOL PARTY AT THE OPEN HOUSE!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: troll at July 30, 2008 3:16 PM
.........make sure to bring pastel colored bathing suits to the pool party!
Posted by: troll at July 30, 2008 3:16 PM
I like my '68 Olds 442 Convertible and I bet a lot of people think that's bad taste too. Also I have a baloney on rye every now and then and that's definitely low class.
bxgrl...don't compare the White House with this mansion.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 3:16 PM
This is actually Brooklyn. This is the brooklyn that brownstoners don't visit. Take the time to go to Bay Ridge, Bensonhurst, Mill Basin, Dyker Heights, Bath Beach, Gravesend. I'm sure a lot of you are scratching your heads about the above mentioned neighborhoods but this is Brooklyn. It's not all Brownstones and Condos people.
I actaully prefer brownstone hoods in North Brooklyn but don't be ignorant of others. This house will make someone very happy.
My 2 cents.
Posted by: Adam Dahill at July 30, 2008 3:17 PM
you're right Adam...I'm seeing someone from Canarsie and I don't think there are any brownstones there either.
Remeber its "brooklyn, inside and out"
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 3:19 PM
ill raise your 2 cents and add another nickle for the house
Posted by: troll at July 30, 2008 3:22 PM
troll, that was very funny!
Please calm down y'all. Sure, we could refrain from these comments and watch this thread sputter out at two posts, but, as bxgrl points out, most of us aren't trashing anyone's religion or race. Nor are we bashing Dyker Heights. Plus, at least the pool's getting mad props, so we have found some redeeming qualities in this place.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 3:31 PM
Correct Desi, you pegged it..."why all the self-congratulation on this thread? Insecurity, maybe? Anxiety about your own class status?"
Posted by: cobblehiller at July 30, 2008 3:38 PM
Whoah...We're all just having some good clean fun. In all honesty when this post came up did anyone really expect serious comments with regard to the pricing or how long it's been on the market, etc.?
Of course someone is going to LOVE this, actually a lot of people will. Generally though it's not going to be people in this community.
I don't think any (intentional)harm was meant.
And heck yeah...I so totally want that pool in my basement, even with the tacky-poo tile!!
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 3:40 PM
Oh, por favor!
Can we please not go all pious and self-righteous about not ridiculing that which cries out for same?
A target is a target because it's a target. If you follow.
I don't believe any of the comments here, though sometimes wicked, have caused any human grief.
Posted by: AB at July 30, 2008 3:43 PM
desi & cobblehiller...i din't see any true "self-congratulation" on this threa. No one has said "my columns are better than those", "my view doesn't have 5' satellite dishes"
In fact most of us are envious about the basement pool. Although I don't know how you design skylights into a basement pool.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 3:43 PM
And remember, this listing was submitted to Mr. B--he didn't go looking for it. What did the tipster think would happen?
Personally, I'm not even keen on the pool. No real daylight and somewhat claustrophobic. I bet it feels like an "amenity" at a Comfort Inn.
Posted by: tinarina at July 30, 2008 3:47 PM
Oh relax. If you didn't do anything wrong...then you needn't get your knickers in a twist.
Even if you would love the pool. hmmm...come to think of it...so would I.
Posted by: cobblehiller at July 30, 2008 3:47 PM
Uh oh, apparently in addition to NHS (Neighborhood Hypersensitivity Syndrome) we now suffer from ICSA, or Insecurity and Class Status Anxiety.
Does this mean we also have to issue an apology to all crustaceans after our derogatory comments regarding the lobster rolls on the Food and Drink Round-Up Thread?
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 3:49 PM
tinarina your being self-congratulatory with that remark about the pool. Admit it.
It has to be done up right...bar with margaritas and sangria, hot latino pool boys fanning everyone with palm fronds, chaise lounges with turkish pool towels, piped in eucalyptus....you get the picture...a den of iniquity.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 3:53 PM
I hadn't thought of that Biff...my god, you're right. We better get on that right away.
Posted by: cobblehiller at July 30, 2008 3:53 PM
Bottom line... any thinking human would agree. That house is hideous!
Posted by: GHB at July 30, 2008 3:56 PM
cobblehiller, :-)
It's all good. The knickers are officially untwisted.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 3:56 PM
You said it Date Rape Drug (GHB)
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 3:58 PM
Dave, that's very scary you know that! Remind me to never go drinking with you!
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 4:00 PM
Very quick thinking Biff. I spit out my afternoon coffee.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:02 PM
I've been laughing so much at this house and all these comments today that my face hurts.
This has been more hilarious than a Shecky Greene act in Vegas.
And no come backs like "yeah its killing me!"
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:05 PM
You better get another one; the day's not over.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 4:06 PM
Dave, before I saw your last line I was already bracing on your behalf for that one!
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 4:08 PM
Ok, it's not so 'purty' but c'mon - over a 120 catty posts! You're killing me.
Go make yourselves useful and help the poor guy with the bank appraiser question on the forum.
Posted by: cobblehiller at July 30, 2008 4:08 PM
Self-aggrandizement on this site? NEVER!
But even tarted up, I'm sure the pool vibe will still be one of chlorine fumes in a dank basement. Party on.
Posted by: tinarina at July 30, 2008 4:09 PM
tinarina, you HAVE to email Dave at davebedstuy@yahoo.com. While we're at it, can we somehow get 11217 to do the same?
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 4:10 PM
cobblehiller...i set the guy straight who was asking about "flesh" colored tiles on the Forum. I've done my work for the day.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:12 PM
Yes...both of you
11217 you will hear more about neighborhood hypersensitivity syndrome and
tinarina we need to discuss your "pool envy" issues
and a pool party!!!!
email me at davebedstuy@yahoo.com if you will
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:15 PM
Your all ASSHOLES.
Posted by: janko at July 30, 2008 4:17 PM
Takes one to know one.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:17 PM
Omigod...he's human, someone give this man a beer. Good one Dave.
Posted by: cobblehiller at July 30, 2008 4:18 PM
janka, if we were really assholes, we would have told you that it's "You're" and not "Your".
and cobblehiller, not all 120+ posts were bashing the home. Some were bashing Repubs, so at least something good came of all this. And it's hard to not love a 130+ post thread these days.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 4:22 PM
How politically incorrect, I prefer to be called an asshat.
I thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 4:22 PM
Yeah, asshole is so 50s,60s,70s 80s and 90s. TownhouseLady is right.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:25 PM
Janko- Is this your house?
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 4:25 PM
Biff I see two poitential others among the last 5 posts. what do you think?
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:27 PM
Sure, as long as you're not referring to janko! He's very mean.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 4:29 PM
TownhouseLady & cobblehiller email me at davebedstuy@yahoo.com
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:31 PM
I'm not mean I just don't like pretentious ASSHOLES.
Posted by: janko at July 30, 2008 4:33 PM
What do you think about this house janko...honestly?
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:34 PM
janko, I was kidding. It's obvious we're all pretentious assholes and you're the only benevolent one here.
Dave, please remember to verify first.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 4:36 PM
You really don't care what I think so why play that game.
Posted by: janko at July 30, 2008 4:38 PM
it'll be elaborate. Not only will they think I'm an asshole but a paranoid one at that!!!!
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:39 PM
We do janko. And if you think this is a game then you're on the wrong blog. This is serious architectural criticism here. Besides, you've apparently read through the entire thread already.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:40 PM
Dave you said...
"bxgrl...don't compare the White House with this mansion"
...but in the listing it does boast a "West-Wing".
Also, I would venture that the "sleeping quarters" are comparable to The Lincoln Bedroom. How could they not be?
Sorry, I re-read the full listing and couldn't help myself!
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 4:53 PM
THL...email me at davebedstuy@yahoo.com ASAP
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 4:55 PM
come on man post what I write your messing up the flow
Posted by: janko at July 30, 2008 5:01 PM
I'm being censored.
Posted by: janko at July 30, 2008 5:02 PM
excuse me- I prefer to be a pretentious asshat. But where are all the fucktards? :-)
that said- sorry if people think it's offensive to express opinions about a house that most people think is hideous. every one has an opinion on taste or lack thereof, and it's one of the few times we've had a lot of fun on a thread instead of going for each other's throats.
IMHO- it's hideous, it's oversized, and it has no class. (Dave- Bush would be a perfect tenant, right?) I can't claim to be the sole arbiter of great taste, but I grew up in a house with a purple horsehair sofa, green walls and a bright yellow tub chair. I KNOW what bad taste looks like and this house is it (apologies to my parents. They were the best in the world- just not in furniture). At least we never had the clear plastic slip covers.
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 5:08 PM
THL- tell me you didn't say that!
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 5:09 PM
bxgrl, I grew up in a home that DID have the clear plastic slip covers and I'm damn proud of it. In the pre-A/C summers, we would literally not get out of our seat; we would PEEL ourselves out of our seats. And if that home was posted here, I would expect at least 200+ posts making fun of it, down to the turquoise appliances and formica kitchen bench!
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 5:21 PM
I think the issue some are bringing up is that somehow it's okay to make fun of people on the basis of class, but not religion or ethnicity. This is a long-standing complaint about liberals (which I consider myself to be). Resentment about this -- and that minor issue of integration -- are what sundered the New Deal Coalition and impelled Nixon, Reagan, et alia into the White House. Depending on your view, this is either a good or a bad thing.
Those of us on the left have for years scratched our heads and said, why are all these people at a relative disadvantage voting all these rich guys into office? Why are they voting against their own self interest?
Class resentment is your answer.
So -- laugh away. It just might be a useful exercise to examine your own class biases, and how they affect other people.
Jes sayin'.
If Biff's mom was indeed this flavor of, er, petit bourgeois, then I guess he gets a pass. Somehow the name "Biff" doesn't seem like that, though.
Posted by: Luce at July 30, 2008 5:40 PM
Luce, one needn't be a member of the petite bourgeoisie to have or poke fun at bad taste. I honestly don't think that, for most posters here anyway, this is about poor or middle class folks poking fun at the rich or, for that matter, rich folks poking fun at rich folks or anything to do with class resentment. Although I will admit that I might be a little less quick to insult a distastefully decorated trailer home as I might assume (narrow-mindedly or not) the decorating options are likely more limited to those living inside one.
My friends and I, regardless of personal wealth, often make light of the homes in which we were raised. It doesn't mean we loved them any less. Like I said, if my childhood home was up here for all to view, I would expect, and laugh right along with, whatever insults were hurled at it.
But I can't get too upset with a fellow liberal who is not afraid to toss out a solid French term.
Posted by: Biff Champion at July 30, 2008 5:55 PM
Ha...I was raised in Albany, NY. Our first pool was above ground..later we got a real one!!! That said, the LR and DR were pretty tasteful by comparison. No high, fancy-shmancy living like this Dyker Heights abode!!!
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 6:05 PM
Class and Taste are two separate issues. You can be in the lower, middle or upper classes and still exercise good taste.
They obviously had the means but lacked the taste.
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 30, 2008 6:13 PM
and typically when one tries to "buy" good taste it goes horribly wrong like the present example we are discussing!!!!
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 30, 2008 6:16 PM
What is good taste?...a discussion for tomorrow.
I'm outta here, kiddies, carry on!
Brownstoner, please post another house like this tomorrow....HHOTD (Hideous House of the Day)
Posted by: bayridgegirl at July 30, 2008 6:40 PM
Luce- we not making fun of people, we're making fun of the house.You can't buy taste, as THL and DIBS said, but an ugly house is all it is. Not an indictment of the owners or the builders. Some of the best hearted, warmest people I know have taste all in their mouths (and thank goodness, because they cook really well).
Posted by: bxgrl at July 30, 2008 6:49 PM
Sure, there's prob some class condescension, let's call it, going on in the posts.
But, really, the fun-poking is all about overreaching...about pretentiousness---about a failed effort to achieve the desired effect without realizing that gaffe.
Classic targets for satire/mockery.
Posted by: AB at July 30, 2008 7:16 PM
Well, this is getting super-complicated (in fact -- why am I even explaining this? I must be nuts) but I was coming from the standpoint that I thought of many of us as upper-middle-class looking down on people with means but in what we consider a lower class -- the petit bourgeoisie, or straight-on middle and lower-middle class. Two-toilet Irish, as we say, where I come from, and an apt description of some of my relatives.
Class has nothing to do with means -- that's the issue. Few would accuse Donald Trump of having either taste or class. Class has traditionally been used as a way to exclude others of like means. My only, rather weather-beaten point. Anyway, who the hell cares? I'm sure the owners are decent folks, and if they aren't, it's not a reflection of their taste in home decoration but surely other things.
Taste is permeable, anyway. Have to say I was a tad disconcerted to recognize a chair I own in Carmela Soprano's living room, several years ago.
Posted by: Luce at July 30, 2008 7:17 PM
I sort of like it. It actually looks more like 2 million dollars than many things in Clinton Hill.
Posted by: Heather at July 30, 2008 9:08 PM
One word describes this place.........GAUDY.....
Posted by: iluvclintonhill at July 30, 2008 10:41 PM
So why was it sold? Some guy's Goomah didn't like it?
Posted by: Jack at July 30, 2008 11:18 PM
Wait, sorry for the two comments in a row, but looking at the layout of the place and the curb view, it looks like a big diner layout. Like someone took the plans to a diner and then plopped that center piece in the middle.
Since it's a custom job (clearly) I'd also like to see if there are any hatches or false floors in the place. Seriously, something has to be stashed there.
Posted by: Jack at July 30, 2008 11:23 PM
Were I thinner skinned I'd take offense at the "two-toilet Irish" remark.
Seems we can get away with some ethnicisms (?) but not others. LOL
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 31, 2008 8:13 AM
Where I come from, it's called "Lace Curtain Irish", which means you've made a step up from "Shanty Irish".
Lace Curtains being used, of course, to cover up the mess behind the windows.
Luce, thanks for the addition to my vernacular! Now, I'm off to the Irish Riviera! (See The Times' Sunday Real Estate Section).
Posted by: Dyker Blights at July 31, 2008 8:32 AM
You know the difference between shanty irish & lace curtain Irish?
Lace curtain Irish take the pots out of the sink before they pee in it.
Posted by: daveinbedstuy at July 31, 2008 8:59 AM
traditionalmod,
Why do I hate mid-century modern?
Probably because it's what I was "supposed" to like in my formative years. "Hate" was too strong a word, I suppose, and my dislike for the style is no doubt a personal shortcoming. Nevertheless, I recognize the merit of the best examples of that style and don't dispute that it's very much worth preserving. I just wouldn't want to lived in a mid-century modern building or have that style of furniture in my home. We all have our idiosyncrasies :-)
Posted by: Bob Marvin at July 31, 2008 8:59 AM
We always refered to cobwebs as Irish Lace.
Posted by: TownhouseLady at July 31, 2008 10:48 AM
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