Bracing For The Worst on South Portland Avenue

97-South-Portland-0708.jpg
South Portland Avenue is getting a new addition. At 97 South Portland, between Lafayette and Fulton, a five-story residential building was just approved on the site of a former garden center. (This is not the same block of South Portland that won the best block award from TimeOutNY a couple of years ago.) Given that the total height of the structure is 48 feet, don’t expect the kind of ceiling heights typically found in this part of town. (This site falls outside of the Fort Greene Historic District. Unfortunately.) In fact, based upon this architect’s other projects, it doesn’t seem like you should expect much at all. Let’s hope our pessimism is misplaced. GMAP P*Shark DOB

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  • omigod- I just clicked on the architect’s link- all I can say is omigod. If his other work is any indication what is going up there I think the other residents will be moving a week after it’s completed.

  • omigod omigod omigod!!!1!

    it’s like, so, like, ugly!1!!

  • absolutely, totally out of keeping with the neighborhood. horrible! and this particular area could easily command serious $$$$ in terms of more interesting architecture.

  • Damn! I don’t usually say this, but that is super ugly. Like Queens ugly. What a bummer. I’d actually prefer a Scarano building.

  • they couldn’t even spell their address correctly on their website. YIKES. my condolences for the nabe.

  • Biff Champion

    omigod, 10:40#1, I just remembered that you’re going to have to register on Monday! Please don’t forget!

  • daveinbedstuy

    Ugly doesn’t even begin to describe those things. Maybe a Fiberama awning could dress them up!

  • Maybe a whole building slipcover :-)

  • Oh know! Woe to Fort Greene, woe to Brooklyn!

    Isn’t the property owner ashamed? They are not even getting best value!! We need a community board who will stand up for SOMETHING. Good design perhaps?

  • daveinbedstuy

    What architectural school did Landis L. Dooley attend? Was it a correspondence course?

  • The staff architects United Homes would be embarrassed by these.

  • I just looked at the architect’s website. Can they actually be proud of that crap, or are they pandering to customers with no taste?

  • A little bit of Queens right in my back yard. Lovely.

    BTW, does anyone know if the garden center is completely done? Did they have a going out of business sale?

  • Frankly, I live not far away. This very short block of S.Portland bt/w Lafayette and Fulton is not so hot unfortunately. It needs a big makeover, most of it.

    Habana Outpost holds the corner in its chartreuse glory, Cafe Lafayette is next with a huge exhaust duct running up the front of the brownstoned building and then this lot which Gardel decided to turn from his garden center into apartments.

    It is a very commercial little area. I wonder if Gardel has thought about constructing a business space on the ground floor…would make sense. Green Grasp Provisions is also at that intersection…Moe’s at the next corner at Lafayette…

    I would assume a restaurant might do very well there especially if the backyard space could be used for tables.

    FGG

    PS, Sniff Champignon, okay already, stop rubbing it in. We’ll all enroll in Brownstoner so we can be tracked. Stop worrying.

  • Yup, another fascinating round of contributions by the bold type crowd.

    sigh

  • WonTon

    I happen to know that Landis L. Dooley actually operates out of an office in Shenzhen. His real name is Wong. Got his cousin to put up the website on the cheap, so the English translation is not so hot.

    “Dooley” has designed a lot of buildings in Greenwood Heights too, have you seen them?

    Looks so modern and cool, just like back home in Guangdong!

  • Jimmy Legs

    i like how his projects page is called “Pass & Curent Projects,” and how he mentions that some of his work is in “Queen’s.” that’s the mark of a real detail-oriented type o’ guy.

  • He is, of course, not listed on AIA NY.

    Real winner. Does he really a registered Architect?

  • daveinbedstuy

    and a fascinating comment by you too 11:26

  • How is it possible for him to do this? And what person in their right mind would have an architect do work for them long distance?

  • those are the most hideous things i have ever seen. there is so much beautiful architecture in the fort greene/clinton hill area. i hate to see it turning into that…

  • WonTon

    (psst, bxgirl: nice pretty bridge for sale downtown, you interested? I throw in little waterfall, no extra charge…)

  • How did that win best block? It would even make the top 10 in Park Slope alone.

  • Landis Dooley NYS RA#0023402

    no AIA though. Suprised? Too cheap to pay their annual dues and earn the required LCU’s. Too bad, he could use some!

  • WonTon: can I trade you for sex?

  • High level of commentary and interaction from Bold Type Guests continues.

    Brownstoner’s attempt at selling the need for everyone to get a signon name was lame.

    He/they want to implement it so it is easier for them to manage the website. That’s all.

    People logging in has nothing to do with (what was the statement yesterday?) something like “getting the blog back to its roots”…

    SNORE

    Gardel and whatever investor are doing this on a very slim budget most probably. With any luck, they’ll stucco the front in brown to avoid the light brick as seen on the “sharchitect’s” website. Hhhh…

    I would almost like to get the neighborhood together to raise the money to simply sheathe the facade in mod glass… It would be great if the Landmarks Conservancy (which will loan money at low interest for properties outside the actual Landmarked District) could cough some dough up to help make the new building appropriate to the neighorhood.

    What, Sniff, no retort? What, have you taken a break to get your 4th cup of coffee for the day?

  • Thanks, bowl of dicks.

    I Google searched, high and low, for any alumni affiliations. I think this guy got his credentials from Photoshop and Kinkos.

  • WonTon

    Cash only! WonTon is no subprime lender.

  • Well, is it made of green cheese? i certainly wouldn’t expect substandard product from someone not a subprime lender.

    bxgrI – you seem to think everyone is as stupid as you are. Most people can tell the difference between an I and an l. I know it’s difficult for you but why don’t you join your trollish brother in the corner? You know- the box of hair.

  • Biff Champion

    12:10 guest, nope. Your post is too boring for me to respond really, other than to remind you to please remember to register (and get yourself spayed or neutered while you’re at it).

    We won, get over it. Or don’t and keep typing your final faded type trolling messages.

  • What’s most amazing with Landis Dooley is that he basically designs THE SAME STRUCTURE over and over again with slightly different crapola bells and whistles each time.

    I think it’s safe to say that we can count on an inverse “V” roofline and some vinyl Palladian windows on this new project.

  • The architect samples are definitely horrorshow.
    Gardel’s was a good shop though.

  • Biff: yeah!!! omigod fadey type posts are the stupidest! they never have anything important to say! all they do is troll and troll and troll!

  • don’t bother looking around the web for his B-arch degree because there probably isn’t one. Anyone can sit for the licensing exams after they prove to the state that they’ve been a drafting drone for at least +/-10 years prior.

  • “What, Sniff, no retort? What, have you taken a break to get your 4th cup of coffee for the day?”

    No. The big story is Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. You are watching a depression unfold in real time. The Bulls argument of a heathy and robust Real Estate market has come to a end. I think the next 90 days will be very challenging for everyone and I don’t see where things will get better. You see Brownstoner started the Log-in thing to keep people posting. It was NOT about spamming or trolling. Most Real Estate Hype Blogs (Like this one) will see a significant decline in posting and traffic. So enjoy the weekend and I see you on Monday!

    Fannie, Freddie May Need $77 Billion of Losses Before Any Federal Bailout

    http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=ag.ckVnwp9b8&refer=home

    Bush administration officials are considering putting at least one company under the full control, or conservatorship, of government regulators,

    If this happens the Bond market will implode….

    BTW My third cup. LMAO!

    The What

    Someday people will wake up…

  • Biff Champion

    “What, Sniff, no retort? What, have you taken a break to get your 4th cup of coffee for the day?”

    The Fake What thought that was meant for him. Classic.

  • So not bxqrl either.

  • Omigod! the Q’s a lot harder to spot, though! like, what’s with all these trolls?! they make our ever-so-clever posts, like, hard to spot!

  • The owner of the property, Gardel, is one of the nicest people ever. He was booted from his site on Flatbush at 5th Ave pre-Ratner days and bought this lot when NO ONE wanted to be over there.

    He’s no rich man (even as hard as he’s always worked) so he can’t go out and hire some fancy architect to make everyone happy with the style! That’s no crime. It’s what he can afford. This is an example of one of the originals of this hood taking a chance to earn a profit he richly deserves! Good for him!!! he’s not some speculator moving in to make a profit. This is what he can do and I’m happy he’s able!

  • 12:42 – Google “Pyrrhic victory”

  • Not necessarily, bxQrl. All they have to do is check the profile page and see the difference and read which posts were under which username.

  • “This is an example of one of the originals of this hood taking a chance to earn a profit he richly deserves! Good for him!!! he’s not some speculator moving in to make a profit.”

    That’s some mighty fine logicalatin’ you’re doin’ there. It’s ok for an “original of the hood” to profit from an ugly building, but not some (clutch pearls) speculator?

  • If he’s such a great guy someone should tell him not to use this architect. A good architect can still do an inexpensive building. And cutting too many corners now will only hurt his investment in the long run.

  • Biff Champion

    1:15 – Google “How to Register on Brownstoner”. You’ll need it.

  • Totally agree that Gardel is a great guy and has been a wonderful asset to the neighborhood, but I think it’s fair to say he’s not an experienced RE developer.

    Clearly, the big risk of building a Dooley special is that it will not be particularly marketable as a condo, maybe as a rental.

    I sincerely hope that Gardel profits handsomely from this from this venture–but this architect’s building is unlikely to make that happen.

  • I agree Gardel had a nice little shop and is a cool dude. He probably is hiring the architect because it is cheap, but aren’t there any people out there volunteering to design and build him a structure for a good deal so we can all be happy? I heard he was going to reopen his shop on the first floor of the building.

  • Gardell is indeed a righteous bloke, but all the same, I can’t help but cringe at the examples of the arhcitect’s previous work. Makes me want to chunder. His lack of imagination is horrific, and his aesthetic eye was obviously either poked out in in the middle of architecture school (because there’s no other excuse for designing such awful-looking buildings) or he didn’t have the fortune to be born with one in the first place. With so many extraordinary examples of beautiful arhitecture in FG/CH/and Bed-Stuy, there’s simply no excuses if a heinous monster is built here. Hell, copy a couple of the gems on Clinton Ave if you can’t come up with something by yourself, Mr. Architect. Either that or offer your services to some manical head of State trying to promote a Cult of Personality via statues, museums dedicated to his greatness, and of course, his mausoleum. But stay the hell away from Fort Greene. I beg you.

    Legend has it that on completion of St. Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow, Tsar Ivan the Terrible ordered the architect, Postnik Yakovlev, to be blinded to prevent him from ever creating anything to rival its beauty again. (He did in fact go on to build another cathedral in Vladimir despite his ocular impediment, so he was either an amazing bloke or the legend is complete crap.) While I am shocked and horrified at such a display of savagery, I wouldn’t mind appropriating such a punishment on all the asshats that design and then inflict eyesores on our beloved nabes. May the fleas of a thousand Taliban camels infest these architects’ nether regions.

  • You guys should stop complaining, get together, and find a good, inexpensive architect for Mr. Gardel. If he’s really a nice guy who cares about the neighborhood, he’ll appreciate the favor.

  • “and a fascinating comment by you too 11:26″

    Thanks, Dave. Your posts are always so helpful.

  • 2:23: These numbnuts are too busy posting here all day to do anything constructive. YOu are going to have to look elsewhere.

  • I took a look at Gardel’s plans. They dont look too bad. Unfortunately they dont show the facade of the building. I just hope Dooley attempted to blend it in with Brooklyn’s unique architecture.

  • WonTon: Can Biff pay for me or do you think he is too stupid to have a real job that can pay the bill?

  • “12:10 guest, nope. Your post is too boring for me to respond really”

    - Biff

    Really.

  • Biff Champion

    “other than to remind you to please remember to register”

    3:00, perhaps you should learn to read or do you just generally have issues finishing things you start?

  • After knowing this area since Cafe Lafayette was a liquor store, this is definitely a step in the wrong direction…there goes the neighborhood!

  • Gardel said he couldn’t get financing for a retail space, so it’s going to be all residential. I’m sorry to see his shop go, but I’m happy he’s not just selling it to some developer. Ugly or not, I prefer that the neighborhood stays in the hands of the people who have been a part of the neighborhood for ages.

  • Biff Champion

    And 3:00, you must be so proud that your whole identity (i.e., your login ID) is based on one thing – your trolling of bxgrl. Please seek some help!

  • I guess we’ll have to find another place to buy our Christmas tree every year, bummer.

  • “perhaps you should learn to read”

    - Biff

    I hope you are not the teacher.

    “Please seek some help!”

    - Biff

    Words to live by. Do you practice what you preach?

  • Biff Champion

    4:03, you’re a stalker. Your existence here is built on following around and stalking a woman poster. Think about that and whether or not that’s really the kind of person you want to be.

  • Biff: Your existance here is about talking about yourself and oversharing. I would have suggested to you to think about whether or not that’s really the kind of person you want to be, but you have proven – repeatedly – that it is the kind of person you want to be.

    I am not stalking anyone. I am simply turning the tables on you, bxgrl and Dave. It is obvious you don’t like it despite your repeated comments to teh contrary.

    Here are 3 easy ways for you to solve the problem: Stick to the topic at hand, avoid insults and stop treating this site as your personal living space.

    If you can actually control yourselves, I would have nothing to do or say.

    Now that I have actually pointed out to you how you can solve this, are you willing to behave? It is all up to you.

  • Mind your own business, a ClintonHillLady (and we use the term lady very loosely). Don’t you have some fruit to pick with moreteasir in Crown Heights?

  • One problem 4:36. Your profile indicates that you are not me. Sorry bxgrl, Biff, Dave. Wrong again. You 3 are not very bright. Like shooting a box of hair in a barrel.

    A ClintonHillLady: Thank you for your support.
    :-)

  • First things first…it’s A ClintonHillLady, with a capital A!

    Secondly … I actually agree with you!

    Relax!

  • Biff Champion

    Yes, bxgrl is an idiot, I’ll listen to you because you’re an expert at sticking to the topic at hand. We’re still waiting for your first on-topic post ever little stalker boy.

  • “We’re still waiting for your first on-topic post ever little stalker boy.”

    - Biff

    So they are waiting for both of us to stay on topic?

    I think you are waiting for me to stop making you look like a fool in front of your cyber gf (bxgrl) and bf (Dave).

  • love it- how many trolls and stalkers can one person have? I had no idea I was so endlessly fascinating- I don’t even have to post anymore. I guess I’ll just have to mind my g’s and q’s.

    Thanks Biff! so much fun out here, yes? :-)

  • “love it- how many trolls and stalkers can one person have?”

    - bxgrl

    Answer: 3. bxgrl, Biff and Dave. Thanks for making ME the most popular kid in my 2nd grade class.

    (I hope the teacher gives me a gold star for getting that answer right.)

  • you’re such a dolt, a clinton hill lady(yeah, right). You lie down with pigs, you get up covered in mud. Glad you and bxgrl is an idiot are enjoying your roll in the dirt.

  • This thread proves that the bold type tools make this a miserable place. It was about a real topic until the fifth post or so when Dave hijacked it for his daily dose of mental masturbation. The beauty of the guest comment is that people don’t know who’s talking and can’t therefore star to characterize comment as typical Biff this or typical Pompous Ass, I mean Polemicist, that. Now the gloves can really come off and the bowls of dicks can eviscerate the various bxgrl’s all day with sharpened talons. What a bunch of losers – I’ve seen a lot of blogs, and you expect the typical illerate hate, but this blog proves that (for the most part) privileged educated white people without accountability are a freaking scary depiction of humanity.

  • don’t we know. I will apologize for my contribution to it but it’s tough to try to post and get ripped just for posting. Another reason to institute a more secure log in for usernames so no spoofing allowed.

  • You know something bxgrl, we’ve had our differences but I have to agree with you on that one!

  • OK, bxgrl. I have to admit that I appreciate your apology and I will stop commenting on your comments. Truce? (This doesn’t mean Dave and Biff are off the hook.)

  • Thank you for that A ClintonHillLady. Truly.

  • Anyone see that story in the Daily News yesterday about the British 19-year-old who had a bat stuck in her bra and didn’t know it? She is a 34FF cup.

    Can you imagine titfucking her? That would be so awesome.

  • Did one the bold text people post that awful, rather lewd, comment as a guest in grey text just to prove something?

    I hope Brownstoner will block a number of these current bold text participants. Biff was funny at first a couple of months ago but is just useless now.

    The fake “what” (who, though able to string a decent sentence together) is tiresome in his apparent desire to take on the guise of The What (who hasn’t posted for quite some time)…

    The back-and-forth between the bold text people today has generally been deplorable excepting Aussie and a couple of others. The people using the blog as a chatroom need to go (get blocked by the site admin).

  • 5:39- if you mean it, I’m all for it. Er…about the log in name? :-)

  • I haven’t seen the plans for this site yet, but I will miss Gardell’s Garden shoppe. I bought many things there over the years. Does anyone have a link that can show us what this place will look like, please?

  • Holy crap! Landis L. Dooley is a horrible architect!